Originally Posted by HappyHiker
It seems I have a lot of work to do too. For one, I need to figure out why I trust people so easily. This is obviously a flaw that I need to correct.

I need to become bitter, cold and distrustful of everyone until they have proved to me they are worthy of my trust.

Well, I wish you'd spend some more time on the After Divorce Dating board, we'd set you straight real good smile.

That aside, you do not need to become bitter or distrustful. You need to learn to become attracted to the right people, and vice versa. I have spent several of my initital post-divorce years dating the wrong people, until I got beat up enough to ask myself why I attracted those kind of people, and why I was attracted to them. And believe it or not, I learned to stop that pattern, and learned to value and be attracted to things like stability, normalcy and calm, over excitement, wildness, and drama. And my subsequent relationship improved tremendously as a result.

I am not saying that you should look for the same things as I did, I am just saying that it's important to understand what you really want in a partner, and then look for that person, as opposed to being attracted to the wrong things. As they say, opposites attract, but they are rarely good for you in the longterm.