Cwmi,

Are you willing to negotiate with your husband? Is there room for any work-related travel in your life together?

I'm hearing "no" as your answer. Again, this wouldn't be my answer, but I'm not judging you. Just describing what I hear you saying over and over again.

Is your husband willing to negotiate a "no travel" career/position? It doesn't sound like he is willing to do that.

Here are your options (as I see it), given your unwavering feelings on the subject:

1) Counsel again with Dr. Harley and see if he has any new suggestions for you.

2) Go to plan B (which is actually what I suggested--I did not suggest divorce).

3) Find some big carrot to dangle for your husband (so far you haven't been able to find one).

4) Punish your husband in some way when he travels in the hopes that you can deter him (this hasn't worked so far).

It seems to me that options 1 and 2 are your best bet as neither of the other choices have worked. Failing to meet with Dr. Harley, that leaves you with #2.

Beyond that, I don't know what you want us to do/suggest for you?

You are unwilling to change your position. You have a zero-tolerance policy for work related travel (unless I'm missing something). Even you going along doesn't seem to be workable or seem to improve the situation any.

Your husband seems unwilling to change his position.

Just what kind of advice are you looking for?


Edited to add:

You are obviously not looking for us to give you advice on how to tolerate/accept any situation where there is work travel in your life together. You have made that clear.

Are you looking for advice on how to persuade your husband on how important this is to you? If Dr. H couldn't do it in a meaningful/lasting way, I doubt we could. The only thing I can suggest is Plan B.

If this situation is so intolerable that nothing can make you happy with him, then you should go to plan B. It is rare, but people do plan B for situations like this.

Otherwise, you will obviously just go along and continue to make each other miserable, as you cannot accept his lifestyle, and he cannot accept yours.

Are you planning to talk with Dr. Harley even if he isn't on board?