Originally Posted by CWMI
What exactly is she doing to you?

What is it that you want her to do now? Exactly?

You're full of BS that she is solely responsible for the state of your marriage, and until you ACTUALLY change that mindset, you're not going to get anywhere.

Threatening her makes you VERY UNATTRACTIVE. You realize this, right? If you stopped the threats, stopped engaging in arguments with her, you might be able to get somewhere. No action required on your part, only inaction! Can you do that? My H and I used to have huge arguments that would go on for days. You would be amazed at how that has simply *stopped*. You know how? I quit falling for it! Most of our arguments would be about me complaining to him about something he had done. He would bow up and get angry and start attacking me, and off we'd go! Now, I still complain if something bothers me, and sometimes he still bows up--but now instead of playing that game, I just say, "I only wanted to let you know that [whatever] is not okay with me. Now you know. We can talk about it if you'd like, but I will not be spoken to that way. If you raise your voice again, I'll leave the room and we can talk when you calm down." EASY. Try it.

I'll use this approach and you have it correct it is 90% of the time me having issues with something she has done or said to me, or doesn't do to me that is an EN. I won't fall for the fights because every time I do, she goes into Taker mode and won't let me in.

Married 15 years
12 y/o DD
10 y/o DS
6 y/o DD