Originally Posted By: Hilltopper1972
A quick rundown. She ignored my text to her


Hilltopper, let's start right there.

If you would like to have a better marriage, then I think you have here a belief that strongly needs to change, and fast. Can you come to accept that your wife doesn't have to respond to everything you do? That she can make her own choice about that?

What I hear when you say she ignored you is what someone else heard: you feel ENTITLED to an answer. You feel like she SHOULD answer you.

And that is how marital abuse occurs: this path starts with demands (answer me) and disrespectful judgments (you are ignoring me) and eventually goes down to angry outbursts. Don't go there. Start with accepting that your wife can make up her own mind on whether or not she should answer you, and that her opinion on that subject is VALID and must be RESPECTED by you, even if your opinion is different.

So you felt like she should answer. She felt different. Does your opinion outrank hers?

A caring husband accepts his wife's right to decline his requests, because he cares about her feelings and recognizes that if she had done what he wanted, then he would have gained at her expense. When you make a request (send a text as an invitation to talk), if your wife doesn't feel like granting your request (respond to the text), think about what conditions might cause her to feel enthusiastic about granting your request. If you can't think of any right away, withdraw your request for now.

Guess who told me that? His name is Willard Harley. smile


If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app!

Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 17 years, who is a beautiful angel.
Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010

If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.