Originally Posted By: Prisca
Originally Posted By: Hilltopper1972
What my concern is that she may find another source to meet her ENs better than I can at this stage in our marriage. That is prohibitive to our Love Banks becoming filled.

Bingo. She is creating a "point of comparison" -- she enjoys being with her friends at the gym a whole lot, and she compares it to the time she has with you, and she likes the gym a whole lot more. This will make it difficult for YOU to fill her Love Bank.

I've posted to her about this before, but I don't know if she remembers. The two of you need to be each other's favorite recreational companion. Until that is a reality, you do not need to be spending time away from each other doing your own thing.


Gosh I'm glad you agree, the gym thing scares the heck out of me on a lot of levels. This is all part of the interdependence thing we are both gonna have to get used to. It is easier for me than it is for her. My only regular buddy I used to golf with moved to another state, so the rest of my friends are other couples that are also friends with my wife. My wife on the other hand has dozens of friends that she regularly communicates with. I love that she is social with them as they have small children like we do and most of it revolves around activities. The gym part however is not related to the kids, and that is the one that bothers me.


Married 15 years
12 y/o DD
10 y/o DS
6 y/o DD