Originally Posted by Hilltopper1972
Originally Posted by markos
Originally Posted by Hilltopper1972
Side note. Her best friend and I were joking around about kids and stuff and how life is tough. She made some sexual innuendo to which I replied, "I don't get laid anymore," to which she replied, "it's your own damn fault" and walked away.

If you are interested in protecting your marriage, why in the name of Christ would you have such a discussion? If a woman who isn't your wife makes sexual innuendo towards you ... why continue the discussion? And to tell her about your sex life?

I don't know, I don't know, and I don't know. We had a long chat this morning and although the flirtations are not appropriate, it was really the notion that I spent much of the party by myself with our baby while my wife visited with her friends that bothered me. She apologized for it. We came to the conclusion that neither one of is happy because the effort is not being made once again. The effort is specifically about spending time together. We agreed to be selfish about time alone with each other and both feel that if we accomplish that most other things will fall in line. It worked before and it will again.

Hill, I am going to relate to you a tad bit here, but first things first; don't get nuts about suspicions and confrontations on possible adultery! If you have total transparency you monitor, and that is it.

Now, the situation you find yourself in was where my marriage was after our second DD was born, and it peaked when she was about 2.

Because I failed to act, this continued for 6 years, until I finally withdrew and gave up - of course LB's didn't work, and probably because of whatever LB's were tossed out, other attempts were also rebuked.

So, what I can say is this; don't fall off the path!

When you are struggling to claw your way out of withdrawal, or out of conflict friends, work, extended family - those events are never going to be helpful.

If you are not getting your base UA time, they are going to be downright destructive.

The base from which all other things gain importance is your marriage, period. Less than optimal function in your marriage will; stress your friendships, stress your family relationships, and effect your work.

Start scheduling that UA time, if you have do, redo the dang Q's again. And again.

Performance, feedback, revision.

"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr

"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer

"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR