Originally Posted by Hilltopper1972
Its funny you mentioned it. I sent my wife a text saying that from my perspective UA time is the only thing that truly impacts a marriage.

Good try. Worded respectfully and nonjudgmentally.

But she probably still perceived it as an attempt to "educate her." And even if she didn't, it probably still didn't go anywhere.

You probably can't convince her to engage in UA time. But you may be able to invite her to spend time with you alone in conversation/recreation/affection/and/or/SF, and if you make that time wonderful for her, that will make Love Bank deposits and bring you two back together.

Some people hear the Marriage Builders program, see how rational it is, commit to it, and follow it until they succeed.

Other people are not convinced how rational it is. But even if they are not, if you can get them to do these things, it will work anyway, even if they do not buy into the program at first.

Grace does not seem to be buying into the program. Further attempts to talk to her about it, at the moment, are probably going to push her away.

The only option I see you have is to respond to her complaints/requests in the most positive way possible, not try to complain to her or persuade her of anything at this point, and become her partner in solving the problems that she faces in life.

Plan A does not require anything from her.


If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app!

Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8.
Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010

If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.