I'll talk to her tomorrow morning. I very very likely won't be able to pull off anything like faking trying to be her friend to get her digits, but I have massive amounts of google-fu and at least a dozen more years of history in this hood; I know people, iow. I can volunteer again for the HOA if I need to, then I have access to all the records connected to her house. But I can probably get those anyway. I know where she lives, but I'll have to cruise by to get the house #. Then google will purge it all in my lap. I have actually started with a first name and cell phone number, and ended up with FB, deed records, marriage license and divorce papers, and no, that had nothing to do with my H. smile I had a name and phone number of someone I'd met once, and looked her up.

So, while I don't think I can pull off anything friendly, I have complete confidence in my ability to scare the crap out of her without ever making a direct threat. At this point, I don't trust her to give me truthful information anyway. She's had months to talk to me.

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
(Oscar Wilde)