I see what you're saying, yes it's ultimately her choice, even if it is skewed by depression or a temporary drive for revenge or hatred.

How about the military couples that do make it though? And don't cheat? When they are deployed for a year without one another. How can they make it apart, or do they just suffer the lack of needs met, and wait to be reunited.

I have this feeling my controlling behavior was little by little turning her off to me, lets say when she first met those guys, I was excited for her, we would place boundaries that made sense, and perhaps she wouldn't of dive bombed into the drunken weekend she had? She stated she was so tired of being controlled she didn't care anymore and said "f it im going to hang out with my friends for once". All of our interactions about anything related to this have been horribly unhealthy, is there a way to manage that without being paranoid or controlling?