Originally Posted by bcboyb
Originally Posted by Greenmomma
As far as how dating takes it toll- I am really bad at being single. I absolutely hate alone time. I have plenty of hobbies, and friends, but I just have always felt it is more fun to experience life with a partner. I am very extroverted. Yes I'm lonely, Yes I need male companionship! Yes I need to feel admired! I need to be touched! Ugh. Needy. This is what I mean about feeling like I'm on empty all the time.

NED: I definitely struggle with an overactive giver. However, I do feel that every person I've dated has been really terrific. They aren't angry with me- they are sad because they want to still be with me. And I feel bad for hurting them- even though I logically know I must make the choice that is best for me, and that they'll get over it.
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It sounds to me you are not ready for a relationship. You have not given yourself enough time to process and recover from your divorce. If you need a relationship so you do not feel empty you are heading down a rough road. You will be constantly disappointed in your partner as they will be unable to fill the void. You are ready for a relationship when you don't need a relationship. Good Luck

That's pretty much the opposite of Marriage Builders - Dr. Harley's position is that men and women have emotional needs that can be met only by another person. He does recommend being able to stand on your own and being psychologically healthy on your own - but he doesn't say for people to try to not need a relationship.


If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app!

Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8.
Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010

If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.