I'm not sure why this whole thread has diverted to the subject of publicly exposing my wife for an affair that is over. It is over. I've checked up on it without her knowing or even suspecting. I could go on but it would beat a dead horse. We've talked through the circumstances and causes of the affair. It's over. The advice to publicly expose this is treating a symptom, not the main problem, and would currently be like throwing gas on a fire.

The main problem is what MelodyLane copied and pasted as Step 2 (beyond Step 1 of complete separation form the lover and eliminating the conditions that made the affair possible). Step 1 is done. I need Step 2... how to create (or re-create) a romantic relationship between my wife & me.

That's what I came on this forum asking. Is there a chance this can return?