Originally Posted by anonymityplease
Thanks again for taking the time with all the responses.

The reason I question doing the nuclear option as MelodyLane explains in Exposure 101 is that ML is describing a situation in which a spouse *is* having an affair (quoting her signature line). This would have been great advice 2 months ago when I discovered it.

No, it is applicable now as indicated by the quotes I posted. Please read my posts. Exposure applies to affairs that have ended as stated in Dr. Harley's quote. [did you read my posts? I addressed this] I am not recommending a "nuclear option," but standard exposure.

That's why I'm asking for advice. I think it may be best to serve her divorce papers sooner than September. She cheated on me. She has shown no interest in having her needs met in our marriage (before or after the affair). I feel like I'm fooling myself to think she's going to come to her senses and decide not to throw away our marriage. It's a lost cause unless she decides to rebuild our marriage. I'm willing to do so, but it takes two to rebuild a marriage, not just one. And she has given no hint that she's interested.

You are fooling yourself by imagining she will come to her senses. And yes it is a lost cause unless you expose the affair. You are headed to divorce, but you might be able to pull this out. I would try other things first.

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101