I've been posting to 1badhusband on JFO board. He seems to keep digging himself deeper into a hole and I am finding that I may well be out of my depths in understanding what he's doing wrong, if anything at this point.

I really think he needs a man's POV who's been the WS and whose W was not receptive to his remorse.

Short history: He had an affair, affair over, W is in early PG, has two step-children (hers), one child together (d), she's living with her parents, he is living with his dad. And she is unwilling to communicate on anything except their daughter, and barely that.

I think he's really wanting to try, but she isn't willing to listen at all. He's going to begin counseling in the next day or two but I think some of you wise "been there...got the scars to prove it" men...might be able to help him more then I have!

Thanks in advance.

<small>[ January 29, 2003, 09:56 PM: Message edited by: just a wifey 2002 ]</small>

Just a bump...really believe he needs some male insight!

Just a wifey, I think he does need the WH input. But some people just will not continue after even one A.
Sounds like his wife is one of these. And she's been divorced before, so perhaps she's walked this road before also. And is just not willing to do it for the long haul now.
There comes a point where the pain is more than one can bear. And if she had a bad relationship before, he had to know, and he made his bed!
Having said that, with a child on the way I hope he can reconcile with her. There is a lot more here than he's telling I think.
Hope some WH's will go talk with him.
God bless, LouLou

Me, too. There's got to me a lot more to the story, of course there always is, as there is only so much any of us can post on a board.

I also agree that regardless of the remorse, sometimes betrayal is the dealbreaker we all thought it was before it happened it us.

I'd just like to see him get some support from some of the wonderful men who post here...even the BS ones.

Think he could use a male POV.

Anyway...thanks for the reply...and the bump! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Hi I read the comment s that ya'll posted. And are probably right about all the details. I have come clean about evrything with the affairs that I can think would be relevant and any time she asks me any questions I give the most honest answers I can atfirst I kept out some of the gory details but eventually she got it all out of me. She said she never loved her first husband but stayed with him for 7 yrs. and had 3 kids. We did not or I should say I did not communicate what I was feeling at the time. I was so in love with her but was afraid that if I said anything negative she would not love me. No this is not a valid reason for my actions but I never knew how to communicate out of fear. Now she thinks that everything I have ever said or done is a lie. I understand she is hurt and that she is lashing out but the things she says make me feel like a criminal. I got wrote up at work again today and probably will lose my job. I tried to warn her acouple of weeks ago that things were not good at work and she might need to look into medicare just in case. She made the comment to me that I was doing this on purpose. I have had a full time job since I was 18 I am 33 now. And I have only had 2 jobs. there was only 2 days between my last job and this one. I am doing everything I can to keep my job that is the one thing I have always been good at. I have always strived to be a good providerfor me and my family. I have been on this job for 8 1/2 yrs for an average of between 60 and 70 hours aweek. And all of the sudden I am not good enough for that company anymore and it has nothing to do with my personal life. So now I am stuck begging for my job while trying to sort out my personal life. I was supposed to go to a counselor today but I cancelled to try and save money. I know my wife is just venting but I just can't seem to get it right anywhere.

1badhusband! I'll pray you can keep your job and also work out this marriage with your wife.
But you need to check your health insurance at work! Before getting wife on Medicare or medicaid?
If she is covered under your insurance, usually even if you leave or get laid off, she is covered still for this pregnancy due to it having been under the insurance at beginning.
My H left a job when I was PG with our son. But the insurance had to still cover the full pregnancy and for our son too when he was born.Once it's a condition already under their coverage, it cannot be dropped on her.
At least that was the way ours was. Check this out immediately under your insurance policy.
You need to know the facts and not just take someones word for it. Read the print in policy.
God bless, LouLou

1badhusband,

What's the timeline on all of this? Can you elaborate? What happened on such and such a date and so on and so forth.

Luki i am confused about your question the timeline on the affairs or the job.