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KA1 village mechanic
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Hi, Gimble. I wouldn't be surprised if daughter doesn't tear into him without big brother around to add balance. I really wouldn't be surprised if he is a little nervous about having her all to himself. She can be...prickly...and he is used to having both kids together, entertaining each other. I see a few possible scenarios, and hey, I truly have nothing better to do right now, so here we go: 1) She might end up totally ignoring him and just watching T.V. She is good at that, and he won't stop her. 2) She might tell him, "Get away from me, you freak!" That's what she tells her brother sometimes when he is bothering her. 3) She might become queenly and order him around, getting her snacks and whatever she desires, staying up until midnight and whining about not wanting to sleep in her room - after the shopping trip, of course. 4) She is not one for sugar-coating. If WH asks her something, she will either ignore him or tell him what she really thinks. He knows this and most likely won't ask her anything. (Thankfully, she doesn't treat most people this way!). I asked her what she thought she'd have for dinner with her dad tonight. She gave me a cute sideways look with one eyebrow up and said slyly, "Probably whatever I want." We both laughed. She sure has WH figured out. It should prove to be an interesting evening for him. If he lives. Mwahaahaahaa!
Me 40, STBXWH 43
Married 16 years
D-day 01/25/05
Son 14, Daughter 10
Divorce almost final - I hope!
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Hey, you're kind of a troublemaker, aren't you, KA1. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> Come back anytime. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Me 40, STBXWH 43
Married 16 years
D-day 01/25/05
Son 14, Daughter 10
Divorce almost final - I hope!
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Posts: 888
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Hi Pebbles,
I think you did great with the gift and the card selection. Your daughter did awesome with the card! LOL
If WH says anything about the gift (it will probably be derogatory) just say that you wanted him to have something for Father's Day--don't say anything about the kids' involvement or lack thereof. If he presses, just say again that you wanted him to have something for Father's Day and leave it at that.
You're doing good Pebbles <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
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I'm glad you're feeling okay. Maybe ice for the ankle? As in ice chest with a beer or two. Had the beer or two, now I need to find that ice! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> No, I wasn't on Cops! That was my wife! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
What doesn't kill us makes us stronger.
Me 41
WS 39
DS 19, DS 9
DDay 2/25/05
Divorcing....
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No. That's my WW again. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />
What doesn't kill us makes us stronger.
Me 41
WS 39
DS 19, DS 9
DDay 2/25/05
Divorcing....
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If he wants to be a good father, he can get his butt home and clean up his mess. Ding Ding Ding Ding. You are correct! Pebbles. It's time for WH to suck it up .... and get some balls. What DID I SAY? You CANNOT help him. He has to climb out of this hole himself.
What doesn't kill us makes us stronger.
Me 41
WS 39
DS 19, DS 9
DDay 2/25/05
Divorcing....
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Maybe he'll finally get it that his kids are not 'fine' with all of this and that they are not 'adjusting' immediately, as he thought they would. Of course, he'll probably just blame it all on me. DUH! It's just too damn bad for WH. There are consequences to actions. This is a consequence to abandoning your family for a skagasaurus. I asked S18 if he still had lost respect for me. He said, I've lost respect for mom too and suggested I had earned some back. This may sound mean, but there are consequences to actions. You can't protect the WS. You haven't been saying nasty things to ehm. He did it on his own. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />
What doesn't kill us makes us stronger.
Me 41
WS 39
DS 19, DS 9
DDay 2/25/05
Divorcing....
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Hi, Sleepless. It's time for WH to suck it up .... and get some balls. What DID I SAY? You CANNOT help him. He has to climb out of this hole himself. One of the things about this whole mess that has most disappointed me is the cowardice my WH has shown. I never thought of him as being cowardly before. He was too chicken to tell me he was unhappy, too chicken to tell me about the affair, too chicken to discuss anything important, and too chicken to face me during much of the separation. I am really not all that scary, am I? I'm all of 5 feet 5 inches, size 2/3 - what am I going to do to him? DUH! It's just too damn bad for WH. There are consequences to actions. This is a consequence to abandoning your family for a skagasaurus. Hey, did you just 'duh' me?! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> I'd give you 10 minutes of recess detention for that if you were in my class. Just kidding. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> But you see, according to WH, he is the victim! He can't help it that he met someone so much better than me and 'fell in love.' Why should he have to give up everything? He only wants to be happy, poor guy. I'm the big meanie trying to make his life miserable and spoil all his fun. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />
Me 40, STBXWH 43
Married 16 years
D-day 01/25/05
Son 14, Daughter 10
Divorce almost final - I hope!
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Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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He only wants to be happy, poor guy. I suppose we should feel fortunate he doesn't find his "happiness" in serial killing or pedophilia! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" /> Ya'll have repressive practices like "detention" in California?? We would have never imagined! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Hi, Pebbles.
Quote: =============================== One of the things about this whole mess that has most disappointed me is the cowardice my WH has shown. I never thought of him as being cowardly before. He was too chicken to tell me he was unhappy, too chicken to tell me about the affair, too chicken to discuss anything important, and too chicken to face me during much of the separation. I am really not all that scary, am I? I'm all of 5 feet 5 inches, size 2/3 - what am I going to do to him? ===============================
Your husband is a conflict avoider. His handling of the divorce is action (or the lack thereof) in evidence also.
One of the very first things that both of you will have to deal with in recovery is the way you handle conflict in your relationship. Won't that be fun.
Be good, Gimble
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
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I am really not all that scary, am I? I'm all of 5 feet 5 inches, size 2/3 - what am I going to do to him? Damn girl! Someone needs to start feeding you before you blow away in the wind!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Recess detention?? YIKES! I meant to say Da Da Da Da... Like a dramatick entrance. But you see, according to WH, he is the victim! Mule Cookies!! I'm the big meanie trying to make his life miserable and spoil all his fun. Yeah right! Get me a hanky. Like I said, he needs to figure it out on his own. It can't last forever. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />
What doesn't kill us makes us stronger.
Me 41
WS 39
DS 19, DS 9
DDay 2/25/05
Divorcing....
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Hi Pebbles,
You're doing great!
I think that sending a little something with your DD for dad's day was the better way to go, though I agree with the logic that supports each POV.
Can't wait for an update on DD's overnight alone with WH...
Cat
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Hi, Gimble. One of the very first things that both of you will have to deal with in recovery is the way you handle conflict in your relationship. Won't that be fun. Well, if we ever have the experience of being in recovery, conflict avoidance (on both our parts) would be among the first things on the agenda. Yes, that would be...fun? Well, seeing as I'm all alone here for the night, except for the dogs, I don't think I can cause too much trouble. The dogs are bad influences, though. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Me 40, STBXWH 43
Married 16 years
D-day 01/25/05
Son 14, Daughter 10
Divorce almost final - I hope!
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Posts: 1,080
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Hi, MelodyLane. Ya'll have repressive practices like "detention" in California?? We would have never imagined! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Some things need to be repressed, even in the land of fruits and nuts, LOL. Although, we actually had one boy at our school (not in my class) who threw a brick at another child. The brick-thrower's mother explained his actions by saying, "Well, there really isn't enough for them to do at recess. He was bored." And we wonder why some people don't take responsibility for their actions. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />
Me 40, STBXWH 43
Married 16 years
D-day 01/25/05
Son 14, Daughter 10
Divorce almost final - I hope!
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Posts: 1,080
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Hi, Sleepless. Damn girl! Someone needs to start feeding you before you blow away in the wind!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> I may be little, but I'm tough! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> I can lift a 50-pound bag of dog food and carry it to my car all by myself, I'll have you know. Recess detention?? YIKES! I meant to say Da Da Da Da... Like a dramatick entrance. Uh huh, a likely story. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> Don't worry, it's summer vacation - I'm off duty. Like I said, he needs to figure it out on his own. It can't last forever. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> God willing!
Me 40, STBXWH 43
Married 16 years
D-day 01/25/05
Son 14, Daughter 10
Divorce almost final - I hope!
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Posts: 1,080
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Thanks, Cat. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Can't wait for an update on DD's overnight alone with WH... Hee, hee, me too! I'll bet he's tired today.
Me 40, STBXWH 43
Married 16 years
D-day 01/25/05
Son 14, Daughter 10
Divorce almost final - I hope!
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Posts: 1,928
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Maybe your DD will make this a Father's Day that Bam-Bam will never forget! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
"Your actions are so loud that I can't hear a word you're saying!"
BW M 44 yrs to still-foggy but now-faithful WH. What/how I post=my biz. Report any perceived violations to the Mods.
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Hey, did you just 'duh' me?! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> I'd give you 10 minutes of recess detention for that if you were in my class. Just kidding. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> Nah...just put him in the corner with the dunce cap on his head....that would entertain me for a bit....but just a bit <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />
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Hi, Surviving. Nah...just put him in the corner with the dunce cap on his head....that would entertain me for a bit....but just a bit <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />
Me 40, STBXWH 43
Married 16 years
D-day 01/25/05
Son 14, Daughter 10
Divorce almost final - I hope!
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