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Melody, I'm still having trouble adjusting to your perspective. I'm getting the impression that you think I'm controlling. All I'm trying to do is advocate the principles on this site. Isn't that the job of the mods, Dewt? Isn't that what they are appointed to do? The last I checked, compliance with our TOS was the domain of our mods. I am sure there are many folks who are anxious to be told the error of their posting ways who will welcome your suggestions. However, I don't imagine that most folks are sitting around awaiting some divine guidance from a well intentioned, all knowing board member on how to post properly. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> See, I believe most folks post in the manner they deem suitable, according to their judgment, personality and experience, and are quite happy or they would change it on their own. For me, I am quite happy with my posting style and have no intention of changing anything - I would guess most folks feel the same. I certainly hope you don't object.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I took WAT's advice plesae critique and give feedback.
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ummmmmmmmm, Not a very honest or accurate portrayal, JM. Asking someone to "pull over" to accommodate you is very different from telling them how they should drive. [quote]My imaginary conversation with JM on a long trip by car: JM: I don't like how you made that left turn. You didn't put on your blinker soon enough and you went too fast ML: Oh really? JM: Really, I would have veered out farther from the curb and put my blinker on sooner. JM: You aren't looking in the rear view mirror often enough ML: Perhaps you would like to drive JM: But, Melody…I am doing this for your safety! DON'T YOU CARE ABOUT SAFETY!? ML: Of course I care about safety…! JM: Then you should have no objection to my very caring suggestions! You are just being overly sensitive and INSECURE! ML: oh gee, please forgive me for not being more receptive JM: I wouldn't take that turn fast ML: How about you let me play driver and you play passenger?? JM: I AM JUST TRYING TO HELP YOU!!??? WHY ARE YOU BEING SO DISRESPECTFUL?? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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In case anyone hasn't read it yet, I would commend Patriot on a very productive, well thought out thread that I suspect will be most helpful to newcomers. Great job, Patriot and good suggestion, WAT! YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I think maybe the mods should start accepting bids, and award the highest bidder with the last word on this thread.
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I think maybe the mods should start accepting bids, and award the highest bidder with the last word on this thread. Bwhaaaaaaaaaaa <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />
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Melody, I'm still having trouble adjusting to your perspective. I'm getting the impression that you think I'm controlling. All I'm trying to do is advocate the principles on this site. Isn't that the job of the mods, Dewt? Isn't that what they are appointed to do? The last I checked, compliance with our TOS was the domain of our mods. As far as I can see it, it's not the mods job to advocate the principles of this site. It's their job to monitor and enforce them. It's our job, as 'MBers' to advocate them. Furthermore, compliance with the TOS is each individual's responsibility. We all agreed to this when we read the rules and clicked, 'I agree'. Now people, I've started this thread to address an issue. I feel that I was fairly specific in asking people to refrain from personal attacks. I'm left wondering if I wasn't clear or if the message is just being ignored. Is there something wrong with confronting the issues I've raised? Is there any reason even talking about them is inciting such aggressive behaviour? John
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ROFL now ! Good one ! ten dollars says the last word will be "again". <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Come on people, this parrot's dead.
MB Alumni
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Thank you dewt for this thread. If you have to beat an old horse to atleast try and get a point across then so be it. I am a FWS who was trying my best to do everything right and listened to everyone's advise. But I was still met with discouraging and hurtful replies in the early days, especially when I made mistakes. Many of them nearly chased me off for good. I will say I was met by many kind people as well. They helped me restore my M and gave me my family back. For that I am eternally in thier debt. What favor are you doing thier BS by beating them down with more guilt and hurtful lashings to the point they are chased away? Who does that help? How hard can it possibly be to treat others with respect and refrain from personal attacks when they are here trying to do the right thing? Maybe if a BS feels the need to vent on others, they could take it to TOW? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> p.s. I don.t see this as being controling at all. I see it as a suggestion/reminder to be civil to one another. No offense ML. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Moving on, is a simple thing, It's what you leave behind that's hard. - Dave Mustaine
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Pep, please.....in U.S. dollars, please!
Going once............
Going twice.............
SOLD! to the lady in the second row,
She's an eight, she's a nine, she's a ten, I know.
She's got ruby red lips, blonde hair, blue eyes,
And I'm about to bid my heart goodbyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Everybody sing!
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Maybe if a BS feels the need to vent on others, they could take it to TOW? Racer, We absolutely do not advocate MBers going to TOW to vent, because that results in ugly board wars.
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That WS come to this forum for a great variety of reasons. Yet no matter the reasons for coming here.... the REASON of this forum is to rebuild marriages..... Often enough, there is still some 'Fog', or the person is otherwise still not 'getting it', even if they have ended the affair and want to save their marriage. and there in lies the beauty of this OPINION message board..different styles will always appeal to different people ...posters need to weed through and take that which they find helpful and leave the rest... As members or proponents of the MB system and the Harley principles, we agree that they have merit and (ideally) we make a basic commitment to adopt them into our habits when posting I don't know what that means..unless you are saying all people have merit...then I agree... I believe that we have a moral responsibility to not harm others. If we do post, it should be with the intent to do good, not just unload some of our own hurt. I think there is wider brush being painted that this is what happens here ...I don't think people unload as much as it is being toted...and i personally can't stand the fact that if an OPINION is taken as being hurtful..then it automatically is the dumping of some pathetic BS who can't see past their own pain ...truth is that marriages hold great value to all persons...and one doesn't have to be a bitter BS to post something straight and that is perceived as hurtful ... Dr. Phil told someone today if you are bold enough to have an affair..then atleast be bold enough to own it... dead on straight advice that I love.... Over the years I've seen a general increase of 'gratuitous sniping' and 'disrespectful judgements' and I think it's harmful. I feel I owe MB and it's ideals a debt of gratitude and it hurts me to see people disrespectfully treated here I disagree with the general increase I disagree with gratitious sniping... but I realize Dewt that all this is differing opinions... and if and when you see disrespectful name calling it's easier than pie to report...in the years i have been here I have few posts to moderators sitting in my out box... look Dewt I can't even post to you anymore personally cause the last post you started on your situation you made it clear you wanted to no two by fours or negative feedback...well I don't have a crystal ball to know what you will perceive my post as...but I know darn well I ain't gonna call you names....but I don't feel up to taking the risk of offending you.......but lord knows I'm chomping at the bit sometimes to post to you sometimes.... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" /> I don't think this is just a support board for the sake of supporting things... I think this is support board directly linked to the principles of the Harley plan of navigating through infidelity... that redirecting people who want to go kicking and screaming down a different path back to the principles of plan A and plan B and POJA etc is WHAT this board is about.... not about support every and any whim....which does not make people mean or non supportive... I bet there are plenty of anything goes pro marriage sites out there...but this site...this site...is all about a tested process...which is confusing to people who are in such emotional crisis or emotional rightiousness...that they can't see any forest or trees.... and to just drop the principles of this board just to appease coddle handhold AND risk no offensive opinions makes no sense...and will cause more damage down the line as people attempt to get "with the program" blatant name calling needs reported. people that do that should be ASHAMED and I mean ashamed for it serves no one and nothing.... but every thing else that is within the guidelines of this board...is opinion...and should stand as what is ... just someones opinion... ARK^^
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Maybe if a BS feels the need to vent on others, they could take it to TOW? Racer, We absolutely do not advocate MBers going to TOW to vent, because that results in ugly board wars. Yes Arch, ofcourse you are correct. That was my lame attempt at humor. I guess that should be clarified - just like how they have the directions "do not take internally" on the back of shampoo labels.
Last edited by Racer X; 04/28/05 05:02 PM.
Moving on, is a simple thing, It's what you leave behind that's hard. - Dave Mustaine
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Thank you dewt for this thread. If you have to beat an old horse to atleast try and get a point across then so be it. I'm still trying to get the old horse into the corral. I just plain don't understand the dead parrot thing. Inside joke maybe. [shrugs] If I felt like we'd acknowledged the issues I'm trying to discuss, I might have felt some closure on the issue, but thus far it's been mostly fruitless. I'm fairly determined to have a civilized conversation about this. I really appreciate your input, btw. It's exactly why I want to discuss this. People come here expecting help. They're told it's a great place to be, and then we have this particular issue that just kind of makes me cringe for some of the marriages that could have been helped, but weren't because of someone's gratuitous sniping. John
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I'm fairly determined to have a civilized conversation about this. I am wondering if you are this determined when you and your wife have a conversation with a difference of opinion. Susan <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />
Money can buy you a fine dog, but only love can make him wag his tail.
~ Kinky Friedman
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There's only one thing worse than feeling put-down or bashed: Being ignored. Does anyone know , do digital weight scales (like you use in the home), round your weight UP, or DOWN? I mean, one pound makes a big difference to a woman trying to lose weight. Even half a pound! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />
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I have been told that they round DOWN in the morning and UP at night! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> Susan <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />
Money can buy you a fine dog, but only love can make him wag his tail.
~ Kinky Friedman
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Well, then, I'm going to quit weighing myself. Did you know that there is a college scholarship available for students who are willing to use this company's brand of duct tape, available in a variety of wonderful colors, to create an outfit to be worn to your high school prom? All you do is send them a picture of yourself in the outfit you create (gown or tux)....and they trust that you actually wore it to your prom! I'm going to encourage my daughter to try for that one! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Pep, if you're reading....what was this I saw recently about "mood-washing"? I can't remember the thread....I want to go back and re-read it more carefully. I think I may have that virus you were talking about. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />
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NOW* Suz and I may have to initiate you into the QUEENS hunny gurl have you read The Sweet Potato Queens Book Of Love???? I think you have definite queenly potential hunnychild Pep <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />
Last edited by Pepperband; 04/28/05 06:32 PM.
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Pep, please.....in U.S. dollars, please!
Going once............
Going twice.............
SOLD! to the lady in the second row,
She's an eight, she's a nine, she's a ten, I know.
She's got ruby red lips, blonde hair, blue eyes,
And I'm about to bid my heart goodbyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Everybody sing! Hey, that was me!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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