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I'm not sure when he is leaving Lady..
I just thought of something though, I wonder if maybe he is avoiding the papers so he can get me served first with D papers?
I wonder how that would play out? I mean my LS papers were filed first at the end of Oct....
This is getting frustrating....
BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
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Doesn't he have to go to some place to pick up the truck, or does he keep it? My brother is a OTR driver, and he has to go somewhere to pick up the truck after the weekend. Maybe his boss would tell you when you can expect him to be at the depot?
Or can't they do it in the middle of the night? Giving the server guy a pic sounds like a good idea.
Me-41 BS (FWS) DH-41 WS (FBS) 2DD's- 10 and 12 Married 15 years Separated for 2 years after my A Reconciled for 1 year before his A D-day for his A 8/23/05 WH moved out 9/16/05 Divorce final 1/23/07 Affair ended or month or so later My Story
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I would think that if he filed D papers, you would have already recieved them.
And I think anyway the LS papers would take precedence because you filed first.
I wish he wouldn't have found out they were being served either. You should talk to your lawyer about that also. It has made it difficult.
WH might be avoiding just so he doesn't have to go to court.
If he filed, I think you would have known it by now. He would need so much info, his head would spin, and he doesn't have that.
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Hurting - will they keep trying through tomorrow morning?? I also don't understand why they don't go first thing/early in the morning when most people are still at home. Darn it. I was really hoping he'd get those papers too.
When will he be back in town next? Next weekend??
Kim
D-Day May 14th, 2005
Married 16 Years
DS age 8
6 months Plan A
Plan B 10-11-05, H moved back in June 2007, Very False Recovery.
2nd Day-Day 7/7/08 Kicked WH Out.
Plan B for my sanity
"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." Robert Brault
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No he keeps the truck so he does not have to go anywhere to get it....
I don't know Lady , he told SIL he has the papers to fill out but that was last weekend and so far nothing.... Who knows he may do it this week I have no clue....
There has got to be a way to get this done though.... I know if he does not get served they will probably postpone it and I can't afford that to happen...
We have to come up with some kinda plan to get them to him....
BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
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I would say next weekend for sure..... But then again I have the feeling he may be here tomorrow because he told SIL he would take care of the bills. Well it can only be done during the week.... The car insurance has to be done tomrrow or Tue. at the latest....So I have a feeling he will be in town tomorrow... Maybe he has a lawyer appt...
I am just so tired of the run around with him.... I just want it done...
BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
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Can someone other than the Process Server serve the papers?
BS/47
FWH/42
Married 22 yrs
Kids - S30,SD23,SS22
OC Born - 09/08/04
C with OC - SS
It's an UPHILL CLIMB
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I have no clue .....I am going to have the lawyer about this because I need it done for sure.....
****** I would even give them to him if I could.... Just have witness's wityh me saying he got them.... Thats how frustrated I am with this mess....
BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
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I know this is frustrating for you Hurting. Hang in there. Just think, weeks ago you were worried about filing. Now you just want the darn papers served so it can be behind you.
It will get done, I know it's hard to be patient with this.
Kim
D-Day May 14th, 2005
Married 16 Years
DS age 8
6 months Plan A
Plan B 10-11-05, H moved back in June 2007, Very False Recovery.
2nd Day-Day 7/7/08 Kicked WH Out.
Plan B for my sanity
"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." Robert Brault
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I hope so Kim I need it done like yesterday....
I just want him to start paying......
its one thingto know he knows about them its gonna be whole other thing when he reads them....
Were it spells everything out in $$$ and cents is gonna piss him off....
Well I am off to work, everyone have a good evening......
BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
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You have a good night at work Hurting...Don't worry!!!
Lady
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The lawyer will know what to do.
There was a six hour time span the second time I filed for D...and my xh tried to beat me to the punch.
It doesn't really matter...you countersue him on the real issues at hand if he does get to you earlier...all that matters is who has the proof.
If he files and you're served and his grounds are irrevocable breakdown or something like that, then you counterserve on adultery, emotional cruelty, etc...and you NAME the OP...I did that so if it did go all the way to divorce, one day when my child was older, he could read the paper for himself...and the fact it would become a public document...so the sin would not be placed in the shadow...a portion of it would always remain in the light.
me:37 BS; s:7;
xh:38; OW:26;eloped w/OW 1 wk after D: 12/29/03. OC born 3/17/04. Happy! Blessed to be the mother of a wonderful son..great profession..Life's good!
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Peachy,
If he files then i will let my attorney do what ever we need to. In my LS papers it sites Adultry and in Okla. LS papers become part of the divorce papers. But I will proceed the way my attorney feels we should.
I am really beginning to wonder if he will, he says he has the paperwork but so far nothing. Could be he has not had the time who knows. But even if he does I still have hope.
I know his A will end at some point in time all I have to do is be patient and continue working on me. And if the time comes and he wants to work on it if I am still willing then we can.
I am coming to peace with everything, I still hurt and miss him but I can live through this I know that. I still have my ups and downs but they are getting better....
BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
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hey oklahoma
just checking in on you
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Eav,
Thanks for checking in....
Things here are the same still in limbo.... He managed to avoid the processserver again this weekend.... I am going to see mt lawyer this morning to see if we can figure out someway to get these papers served....
But all in all a pretty calm weekend except for the sighting of of WH and OW at wal-mart. I am just glad they didn't see me....
BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
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I you serve him the papers, then he has lost some control...and that is something he does not want to give up... He doesn't necessarily want to D you, he just wants to file when it is the most opportune for him, when he would get the most benefit from it. Right now he doesn't need to file because he is not made to pay any bills, is able to keep you both on a leash, has no constraints on what he can and can't do...why would he file? Unless he does it out of revenge, to hurt you back, or to appease the OW...
And even if HE files, you can countersue, and include adultery, financial abandonment, etc...
Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance!
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Still,
He knows te papers have been filed for LS. He was prewarned by an attorney we know who saw it in the judges box.
So he has managed to avoid being around on the weekends to be served.
If he files for D as he has been saying he was going to do for the last 3 months I think now it would be to appease the OW, as I believe she is pushing it. Once he gets the papers though he could do it to hurt me as well.
Either way even if he does I still don't believe it will be the end for us. I still have hope because I do believe this A will end in time. I am learning patience here. I am staying dark as well.
I don't believe our 24 yrs of love and devotion is gone from him I believe its just buried deep inside him. But either way it goes I will be ok and make it.....
BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
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Posts: 15,310
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YOU ARE DOING SO GREAT!!! HANG IN THERE.... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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I don't believe our 24 yrs of love and devotion is gone from him I believe its just buried deep inside him. But either way it goes I will be ok and make it..... I believe this as well Hurting. I hope if and when it ends up in court that the judge says to WH.... "What are you doing? Are you crazy? If you know what is good for you, you better get right back home to your wife...you big dummy!!!!" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
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Mimi.
Thanks for the boost.... I am hanging best as I can.
Lady,
It would be nice for a judge to say that but I don't think that would happen...
Only time will tell......
BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
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