Ok Mimi .... I got ya


Hope they self destruct soon ..... Seems to be on the way from what I am seeing and hearing

Mimi,

So I guess your saying this information I found out should be kept to myself?

I guess its possible this could backfire if it got out and I would be blamed again.....

Yes..see my last post to Eav..

The affair will soon SELF-DESTRUCT on its own...

Ok I will look at Eav's thread ....

Ok I have my copy of Surviving an Affair in front of me. I am looking at page 50 and reading it now.

I understand about the honesty and thoughtlessness , we all as BS'S know this is happening in the affair. But the affairs partners don't see this, they believe whatever the other says and does. They don't see the thoughlessness because they come to each others rescue whn they fell threatened real or not.... So when do they start to see the truth???? When do they realize honesty is not happening????

Don't you think this is going on with your WH now?

Your answer starts in the last paragragh of 82 onto page 83....

Ok I will read it now ......

In a way I think this is what is happening now but who can be sure...

I think WH is seeing that he is losing alot the time with his kids and even the dogs as now he wants to see them to and take them for the day with the kids.

This last week is the first time he has complained about not seeing the kids much. And of course thats my fault as well. So I do believe he starting to see some of what he is losing... But not enough yet..... He needs the pain to get greater. In fact he was very mad the kids blew him off today but of course my fault again ...... I had no idea about anything because the kids didn't tell me , they didn't want me to make them go I guess... Which I would not have done anyway ...

So yes I believe some reality is creeping in now... Sure wish my kids were hostile to the OW though but they arn't. DD seems to get along with her fine calling her mom and all. DS just puts up with her and ignors a lot of stuff...

Whoever this person is that "fed you the info" is one you should do two things with:
1)only give direct info you know will be passed back and IN YOUR FAVOR and
2)other than for very few bits you let known,

GO DARKEST OF DARK!

Whoever this person is, I suspect they are enjoying eating popcorn at the sideline. Unfortunately there are those out there who love to see this play out..and they like to get in the game too!

I knew it was a set up. Totally. Reeked of it. And the darker you go, but allow a few NICE words to escape to the listening ears of the above "helpful" friend...the quicker stuff will end!

Remember..only words to get out are...POOR WH...HE IS UNDER SO MUCH STRESS...I KNOW HE'S BEING PUSHED. Just that...and then dark!

The affair is feeding itself.

When they rescue each other it is out of the mentality of "You and Me Against the World"...how (bleech) romantic?

So they fight everyone in their way...even if it is not real. like the calls. It is EASIER TO GET MAD AT YOU than for WH to see he has a maniac on his hands.

I'D PLAY THIS ONE SMART...why?

You got a really devious OW on your hands! She is learning how to play WH like a guitar...

Now you know...and you play her right back! Go dark...but have a few nice words here and there peppered. He will know nothing about you..yet will hear some nice words from afar uttered by you? How can that make you bad? It can't! And he will be forced to have OW be there all the time...and she will turn from fantasy to a clingy, unattractive woman who tore him from his fantasy...

You use that angle.

Thank Peach and Mimi I will let this info lay dormit for now.... I don't want it to backfire on me and make it look like I am making it up.

I am staying dark and will whisper little things here and there... It can't hurt if they are good things....

Stupid OW is shooting herself in the foot and is to dumb to see it ..... Of course WH is about as bad he don't see it either .... Not yet that is but in time he will.....

Agree with Peachy... The answer about ending the A is on p.57...

I gave that book to my xwh...what is on that page? Refresh me ok girls? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Peachy,

pg 57 says :

The analogy between chemical addiction and an affair is striking. In both cases, the first step to recovery is admitting that the addiction is self-destructive and harmful to those whon the addict cares for the most- his or her family. After recongnizing the need to overcome the addiction, the next step is to suffer through the symptoms of withdrawl.

The way to overcome an addiction is tried and proven- abstain from the object of addiction.


Of ocurse, my advice is not easy to implement. Many people who have had an affair try but fail to make a drastic and decisive break from their lover. In the case of Sue and John, Sue managed to be seperated from Greg for about a week but couldn't resist talking to him. So her affair continued until it finally dies a natural death, leaving pain and suffering in its wake.

But while total seperation is not easy to implement, there are ways to make it work.


Ok I am not sure i see the answer here but maybe I am over looking something....

Hi Hurting....Stay in the Light.....let WH and OW stay in darkness if thats what they want. Some like darkness more than light. They are already self destructing. Just stay away from thier darkness, lies, manipulations, rumors, etc... Resist Resist!!

Hoping the best for you and the children,

Lady

Lady,

I am trying to stay in the light of goodness. I don't want to be sucked into their lies and manipulations.

I am trying hard to ignor this stuff but when I keep getting blamed for stuff my first instinct is of course to defend myself. I have got to learn to ignor and not repond at all.

I hope they are self destructing, I am praying for it....

You know this may sound strange but for some reason tonight I feel a calm peace about me.

I feel like something has resparked my soul and things don't seem as bad.

Maybe its because I am making a plan for myself. I actually said to my MIL tonight that I am not as concerned over WH coming home as I am just getting the affair to end. Yes I still want my marriage but its not a urgent as it was even a few days ago.

Is this acceptance or the beginning of losing my love???? I am not sure which it is......

Kinda scary actually to be so calm and at peace with this... Not to say panic won't set in at some point in time but for now things are ok....

Hurting, It's the peace of God that surpasses understanding, and angels. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Lady

Lady,

You are probably right.... Maybe God has taken over for me ... I hope this is the case....

Hopefully before long he will take over for WH and help him as well.....

God has no intentions of making WH peaceful right now. In fact WH he is going to feel very uncomfortable most of the time, until he says "I surrender God, please forgive me I coming home"

Lady

Oh Lady you have no idea how I am still praying for that.

But in the meantime I am at peace for now.....

Good morning all .....

Maybe someone can help me figure something out. For a few months now I have had peaceful nights (days) while sleeping.... The last 2 nights though I have done nothing but dreamed of WH and OW. Bad part is most dreams involve me confronting the OW and giving her he$$...... Why after so long would I be dreaming this stuff? The dreams turn out well I usually get what I want out of it.... Anyone have any deas as to why now I am dreaming of this?