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Joined: Sep 1999
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Bram...

His providence surpasses all.

BTW: I work(Livingston you may presume) close to where you live.

Jim

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Well then...I'm working in East Hanover <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />


~ Pain is a given, misery is optional ~
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My stepson recieved an e-mail from his mom (my XW)...
...and I'm not really a prude...
...but...

...here is the picture (from her camp ) she sent to my stepson.

I understand adult humor... (has it's place)...
...what I don't understand is why she wanted to take my 2 younger children to this camp!... this camp is not the "place" for them (ages 10 & 13 at the time)!
(thanks Bram for the assistance in that legal battle!)

Again, she plans on staying at the camp, except on EOW visitations... (EOW out here in the near future)!

Has she changed?...
...I think NOT!

NSR

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Oh my.

Thank goodness she is handing you documentation that you can use to protect your children!!!!!

Jim ~ I do remember pointing you in the direction of assistance ~ but I can't remember for the life of me what I said to you!

What did I say!? I'm glad it helped, whatever it was!


~ Pain is a given, misery is optional ~
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Bram...

You got me in touch with an attorney who took my case to the NJ appelate level...
...in the end, the judge in the original trial(who originally found it was OK for XW to practice nudism in the house while children and OM were there), finally reversed her decision (after another $2000 in legal fees).

My kids will appreciate it when they're older.

Thanks again.

Jim

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Wow. I'm so glad I said something that helped. I was so incredibly horrified (still am!) at a mother who would put her children into such an environment.

I have been thinking about your daughter for a few days now, because I wasn't sure I wanted to say this, but I think I should.

Jim ~ I don't think that talking to your daughter about spiritual and physical chastity and purity is the right thing for you to do. Not that I am against chastity and purity at all! (you know this though!)

I think that your daughter has likely been deeply traumatized by the events of the last few years, and exposed to things in her most impressionable formative years that have damaged her.

I think that as a man, you probably should not be talking to her yourself, but instead, seeking out professional help for her. And in her case, it should be a woman!!!

The best help you can give your daughter is to recognize when a problem is too big for you to handle, and to ask for help. You can take loving action to provide her with protection and guidance by seeking out those with the education and tools to do so.

Your daughter has had some incredibly dysfunctional female behaviors modeled for her by your ex. The role sexuality plays in her life has been taught to her by your exwife. Do not underestimate the power of your ex's modeling on your daughter.

In case I have not made myself clear - get your daughter a female psychiatrist with some experience in childhood sexual development.

With therapy, I would hope she can regain some of the self respect, self love that she will need in order to apply the lessons you can give her regarding purity.

What you can do, is love her and treat her like a princess, model for her the type of man you would hope she would seek out!

Without self respect and self esteem (which I believe the dysnfunctional sexual exposure has probably deeply harmed) all of the guidance from you about purity will be lost.


~ Pain is a given, misery is optional ~
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NSR,

My wife and I are relatively new here but we are glad you are back posting. Your experience and MB knowledge will be greatly appreciated.

I've heard some recent grumbling that things are not as good around here as they used to be so hopefully your presence will atone for some of the "misconduct".

Please help out here on GQII when possible.

Mr. Wondering


FWW ~ 47 ~ Me
FBH ~ 50 ~ MrWondering
DD ~ 17
Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered

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OK...
...a bit more detail...
...and no... I am not making this up... honestly!

It turns out the my XW's BF (the original OM causing my divorce) was 'chating' and 'e-mailing' with his new OW months before XW/OM discovery.

This OW... was a "friend"(at the camp) of my XW!

...and the double-clincher..
(1)
...OW is an ex-European-porn-star (unmarried but with an older child(daughter) with her {whose father was the photographer of the OW in her prime}.

...and...
(2)
... when the OW's trailer flooded out...
...my XW brought them(OW & her DD) into their(XW & OM)'s trailer.

In the final month's before XW's discovery... the OW was 'jumping' on OM (?OM's bed) to 'wake' him to go to work...
...this while my XW was there (still unemployed!

...is there something bizzar with this picture...
...or is it just me?

And... my XW is still on very good terms with the OM's mother (not quite mother-in-law since they never married)... maybe even visting the OM's mother this Thanksgiving?

My stepson filled me in on most of these details...
...he recognizes that my XW's substantial weight gain (post menapusal) may have contributed to the OM's new cheating...
...as well as XW's unemployment
...aw well as XW's substantial increase in drinking (wine) - verging on alcoholism...

...yikes... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

I am sooooooooo glad she has no intention of returning to our [sham] marriage...

all rights reserved... when the movie comes out...:)

Jim

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My guess is that they appreciate it now and that they also appreciated it THEN. Nothing grosser than a non parent naked around kids with their parent. ugh.
And I'm not a prude either. But as our son became aware of the sex differences between us, I stopped letting him come into the shower with me. Up until then it was really sweet, especially when he was little tiny, I'd hold him under the shower head and he would tilt his head back and close his eyes and laugh at the water ..... And that way I knew exactly where he was when I cleaned up.

You saved your kids NSR.

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Further followup:

XW is now no longer dating...
...her new boyfriend decided to go for a platonic relationship.

x-OM (2 1/2 months after breaking up with my XW)... is now engaged to a new love (ring and all){his 4th serious relationship}... and not this one is not the ex-porn-star.

And now she (XW) wants me to pull another $5K from our 401K?
What happend to the last years $35K???

===============

Maybe XW's blog 'heading/title' indicates the depth of her maturity.

Quote
EVERYTHING...happens for a reason. no regrets.
...if you can go through 44 years and have no regrets...
then... you haven't lived... ...or have not taken any risks...
...or...
...lived & taken risks... and not realized they weren't worth it!

...and...

Quote
There's only now There's only here Give in to love Or live in fear No other path No other way No day but today No day but today....RENT
...if There's only now... why dream of a future?
...if There's only here... where is life's journey?
...Give into love... but not if it's lust!
...Or live in fear... when you live in lust!

...No other path No other way...
......if you don't know the way (and truth and life)!
...No day but today...
......if you see no start to a life filled with meaning and purpose.

...maybe it's OK for a song...
...but not a life's direction and meaning.

Clearly my and my XW's perspective doth diverge.

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I remember, too. I'm still here though I have fewer pearls of wisdom these days.....

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Jim,
I see some frustration still, but what else is going on inside your head?

Pretty good most days?

SS


I think sometimes about all the pain in the world. I hope we can ease that here, even if only a little bit.
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I remember you as well, and was wondering how you were doing. I am glad to see you back. I'm sorry your ex-wife doesn't seem to have gained much common sense.

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