M.,
A couple things jump out at me in your posts. I think your husband is fully engaged in an affair and is setting the groundwork to leave you for the OW. You need to block OW from your email if you haven't done so already, and you need to reexpose the affair to his work, both of their families, etc.
Other wierd thing my WH is getting emails saying I am in danger from a mystery man. I think WH is tell him to bug off. I don't understand these side events.
Could possibly be that OW is making threats to cause you physical harm and someone is trying to anon let your husband know.
He will be getting out of the military he says in a little over a year. He wants me and the girls to move to our home state and wait for him. I will not go.
He is trying to set you up so that you are supported by family when he breaks the news to you that he will not be joining you. This also gives him the freedom to alleycat around with OW while you are gone.
He wants to set up an account for me so I can have my own money for me and the girls.
Like I said, he is preparing to leave you-on his terms.
I am doing a great plan A which I am proud of. Going on 2 months of plan Aing. I just don't understand what to do next. I feel that it is all on his shoulders and he is doing nothing.
He will do nothing. The work falls on the shoulders of the BS. Keep up a great Plan A.
He says he can't think of me in a romantic way. Just friends or mother of his child.
Classic WH fog speak
He thinks he is having a small midlife crisis. If they can have them at that age.
My CH said this as he was making plans to walk out on me and file for divorce. IMHO it sounds better if you say I'm having a MLC, rather than I'm leaving you for OW. Just another way of avoiding responsibility.
He said that he doesn't think that he can fall in love with me again because I have LB with him for years.
I'm sorry but I almost fell off my chair laughing at that one. He is looking everywhere to find fault with you so that he can justify his dirty little affair. BTW-it is NOT your fault. It is apparent that any books, counselors, etc. will be lost on him at this point because he is deep in his affair and he does not want it to end.
WH has taken me off all the credit cards and is going to give me a monthy amount of money. I don't mind the credit cards because I don't use them anymore. As for the money When I get it in the joint account I will be moving it so he won't take it back. I am not really understanding the reasoning about what he is doing.
Again, it sounds as though he is preparing to leave you. I strongly advise you to get some credit cards in your name now. You need to have credit in your name alone, you do not know what your future holds for you. You don't have to use them but you need them for emergencies. I am a little leary of him having access to your bank account.
If he is depositing $, make sure the account is set up so that he is not a signature on it.
Why does he care to snoop?
Because he wants to know how much you know about his little affair so he can cover himself. He is probably keeping you around right now because of the trouble he'd get from his superiors. I would get a keylogger program for your computer. ML posted a link to a good one for $39.
I went out with a guy friend today and I told WH I was going to and WH said I went on a date. That really hurt because I can not stoop that low and say those things.
He is trying to make it look like you are doing the same thing as him.
M., I'm not sure you grasp the severity of your sitch. You need to come up with a plan if and when your WH walks out that door. Plan A is great but from the things your WH has said and done, you also need to start looking at how to take care of yourself and your children if he walks out that door. Start lining your ducks up. Good luck. My heart goes out to you.
S.