No.

If I could have a do-over I wouldn't have married at all.

Yes. No question.

Of course, I would love to have known then what I know now...but if all the crap that has occurred over the three years we have been together didn't happen, then I never would have learned. Its unfortunate, but true.

No one else has ever come close to my wife. Despite what she is putting me through, and despite the fact that it takes two...I know that I am at fault, and thus I cannot remain angry at her, and I can't help but love her.

I would say NO as well not because of the A or the other things that have gone wrong.

I believe we were not far enough in our lives to get married. I was not young by any mean when we got married. I was 28 my FWW was 25 but we were still trying to figure out what we wanted in life.

We talked in dreams and not realities. We had a two year old son already. We have grown in different directions as people. We want different things that sometimes makes POJA impossible.

I do not blame that on her or me. When I say NO maybe I would have married her but later. I really believe we both settled down sooner then we were ready. So I may have married her but much later in life. But the answer is still NO.

Maybe if we would have grown individually more before we married we would have grown together more after we married.

No I wouldn't. We dated for 7 years before I felt ready to marry FWH. Maybe my instincts sensed something that I was unable to sense conciously.

Now, I am presuming that when we talk about going back, we are talking about knowing before marriage that our spouses would cheat on us. If that is the case, why would anyone knowingly enter into a relationship with a person who would so carelessly and coldly break their heart?

Who

I love coming to this site and getting timely answers to marriage and WSs.

lostwillow, I wonder if you mind if I change your question to would you marry again and were you the WS or the BS?

It is interesting that the most of the BS say yes!

I would love to know what the WS feel? right after d-day, a few months later...

The only reason I want to know is that my FWS says he wished he never met me, hasn't loved me for ten years, only put up with me to not hurt my feelings, had kids to make me happy, and that I have never been his friend.

Today i am feeling blue! and definately confused. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

In fact, before I read your post, I was about to send FWH a letter entailing my lack of understading in his comments, as they show no love presently. After reading the above, I can understand that he is probaly confused and I need to give him some more time to think.

Thanks bunches for your post!

no

If I could have learned everything I know now w/o having had to do this the hard way: yes.

If you're asking if I would have lived it all the same (a pre-destination of sorts): no.

I would do it over and over again.

she was the best thing that ever hapened to me.

*yes*, she was the best thing that ever happened to me too.

no.

but I would have had a one night stand with him so I could have the genetic material for my son. that I DO NOT REGRET..HAVING MY CHILD. everything else? yea, I sure regret it.

wish I had worked harder with my now bf when we had the first chance. b ut we're better off now in the present together <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

and yes...the genetic material would be only for ds.

in retrospect, he was NOT as good in bed as HE THINKS HE IS...lmao.

Yes, I would marry him again.

While the choice to have the A was his, and his alone, the mistakes that caused him to be so in such a bad way were made by both of us.

We had 15 great years to start with. The 3 or so years leading up to the A, we lost our way. The A period was a nightmare, as was the 6 months after Dday.

But, in the last year and a half, I see my real H again. I look forward to our M now.

And, yes, I would certainly want to be armed with MB knowledge. If I'd had that before, I surely believe the A would not have happened.

I don't think so.
I would like to try and live with a woman that is a bit nicer & not sneaky.Makes a fellow feel like you have wasted your time.
Other guys after shave smell on her makes me kinda mad.

To be honest, if going through the crud of WH's drama and deception were the only way for DD to be here, I would do it again a 1,000 times. She's worth it.

THis is a toughy. On the one hand, I was so happy. I felt like my life with H was a fairytale... high school sweethearts. We did have some great times together. But there was some serious crud, too, in retrospect.

So maybe I side with justpeachy on this one... just the genetic material, please!

I passed on this question earlier because I wanted to think about it some more.

I would say that I would not have married him at the age I did. I was 21. What did I really know about life? I was blinded by love and saw ideals only. Red flags were waving everywhere, but I ignored them.

If more time had gone on before I married him, maybe I would have seen the truth.

I, like SM and Peach, wouldn't trade my boys for anything. But I would not want to be married to WH again. He never treated me well. Even while dating, I should have realized something was wrong when I was crying half the time.

I HATE that I will be divorced, but I am glad I will be free from the abuse.

Okay, so NO, i would not have married him if i could do it over. We did not have the good times like others here did.

Geesh, doesn't that sound depressing?

Those of you that know my story...know my answer....

A sneak peak...would say that I did go ack...and I did it all over again...and I have no regrets with that decision...my regrets all deal with mistakes I made in my life...

No, I would run for my life if I had it to do over again. It did work out beautifully despite all the problems, but we had to go through he11 to get here. I would have rather not gone through any of that.

Yes I would. But probably not 2 months after my 20th birthday. He had travelled, I hadn't. He had really lived life, I hadn't. I went from my father's house to our house.

It all came busting out when I was in my late 40s.

yes I would marry my H again.

He was aways a very devoted and loveing H until this affair started. I never doubted his love or devotion.... We both are to blame for the break down of our marriage, he is totally responsible for his A though I won't own that one for him.

So yes without hestitation I would marry him again if the man i fell in love with was to ever resurface.


Hurting

Hurting

lost willow,
great question, if I could go back the answer is NO> why because our basic foundation to begin with during dating was lies and more lies. I never knew he was married for a year..... yes a year. He lived with me and never saw his kids,young. Then I found out and told him to move out. He was gone 6 months and all I did was cry, I loved him so much. He got divorced and 6 months later we were married. Now 5 years and 2.5 years married he is having an affair with someone else. It totally took me by surprize. A face slam. Tonight I sit writing at 9:31pm and he is still not home from work. Got off at 3:00pm memorial weekend. He just comes and goes it's only been 4 weeks from D-Day but the answer is NO>