On the contrary BigK, I've learned a great deal.

Why do you think I'm just hoping?

I'm stuck until OW leaves her job. WH doesn't have anything to do with her anymore. It's not all NC, but it's mostly NC.

I don't think I'm being disrespectful towards WH, I just know how he operates emotionally.

My main boundary is absolute NC after she's gone and if he cheats again or speaks to/see her again, I'm done with the marriage.

Why do you think Plan B is so important right now after he just came home and wants our marriage to work?

Well Steph, you'd better discount everything I've said. I obviously haven't got a clue about anything.

Stef - his intentions don't mesh with his actions. The nature of the addiction is such that any contact prevents recovery. Stef - how about a side bet that she doesn't leave and get her new job in January? You can pay me in February.

He SAYS he wants the marriage to work but he isn't WILLING to do ANYTHING to make that happen. He is cake eating Stef.

We can still be friends and disagree about this you know.

Todd,

That is exactly where I spent 2001-2005 on base. I have friends who own homes in FWB. Most folks do not commute daily from Destin to base although it isn't a big deal cept when tourist season hits and then it stinks. The hurricaines washed away alot of beach the last year I was there. I wish I had purchased a home since all my friends at minimum quadrupled their investments.

There are many nice homescondos between Destin and base that would give you a mix of beach and base lifestyle. I caution that the medical specialty care is not too hot but if you don't mind the commute either to University of South Alabama (excellent medical care) or Pensacola it will be ok. FWB/Destin are not known for their medical specialty skills.

The base has multiple associate units(AAC, 33FW, 46TW, 53W, 728ACS, AFRL, Air to Ground Munitions Sytems etc) in addition to the host unit 96ABW. I know some wonderful GS employees who are locals and could give you intel if needed. My close friends who live in FWB would also help you out if you were interested in contacts as far as realestate etc, they are real down to earth folks... my friend is AF LtCol and her husband is a hoot...I'm not kidding he would be an interesting match with your whit!

Here is the public website if you haven't visited it http://www.eglin.af.mil/

Let me know what you may need and how I might be of assistance.

BigK-

I want you to know that I respect and value your advice more than you know. Please believe that.

I've agreed with and followed everything you've ever told me I should do and you've always been right. This "disagreement" we're having about this hurts me because, for the first time, I think I know what I'm talking about and what I'm doing, and I want you behind me supporting that and understanding my reasons. Maybe if you knew us personally you would feel differently. I don't know.

How many times have I said we are not in recovery yet? I know that, I've told WH that and he knows it too.

But he's doing things at his own pace. That's fine with me for now. Not that I'll be fine with his pace for too much longer, but for now it's OK.

I'll agree to your side bet...if she doesn't leave in January, I'll pay you in February and go to Plan B. How's that?

Now apologize to Jen...you were rude! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

2much-

I have an ex-boyfriend who was stationed at that AFB.

Small world.

Stef I know you have said many times you are not in recovery. I hear that. But your actions sort of ..... well you know.....

It's OK Stef - really. It is your life and your decision and I do hope it works out for you. I could be wrong...... I am sometimes you know.

We will remain friends Stef.

And Stef it is NOT just me that advises Plan B. You know that. I understand you are afraid.

2much,

Thanks for the info. You know, I didn't even think about the medical care down there until after I had posted. It is a concern. UASB is in Mobile right. That's about a two hour drive from FWB. Pensacola is an hour drive or so. I don't know if it was built before you left the area, but there is now a Sacred Heart hospital in Destin. It is a unit of SH in Pensacola. It has an excellent reputation already but as you say, the specialist community in Destin may be lacking. I don't mind commuting an hour to Pensacola. My only concern is if I requrired emergency care. But medical care is another factor I need to churn in.

Yes, I mentioned the rattlesnake...

I wouldn't let that stop you. Performance and accuracy of military weapons doesn't seem to be a requirement in any of the job descriptions based on past results. I still remember the Mars lander that crashed because the guy forgot to convert from metric to English units. Oops. Besides, that's why they make bombs so big - covers for targeting errors.

Don't forget the expression "close enough for government work". It's really true.

stph20,

Yes it is your life. I have read the statement "hope is not a plan" a few times lately and I'm not sure it sits too well with me. For example, in my case I hope that some day I will get back feelings (good ones) for gemela. I am waiting and trying to give us time so that can happen. OTOH, until your WH firmly establishes NC, the odds are very much against you. But that doesn't mean it won't work either. Many people have been here for a few years (I have not) and have seen these things play out before. They are giving you their advice based on empirical evidence. That is something that neither you nor I have. You won't offend anyone here by not following their advice. Just don't forget that they give it thinking only of your best interests. So just don't get mad.

Todd,

I was thinking more about that Eglin job and I am convinced it would be a mistake. First of all, you are too intelligent to be a GS employee and would flunk the test (they only take the lower 40th percentile). Second, your math and physics skills might actually develop a weapons system that worked and that is the last thing the military wants. Think of the consequences. Weapons work. The Pentagon has to cancel billions of dollars in development contracts. Lockheed, Grumman, TRW stocks plummet. Economy goes into a recession tailspin beyond recovery. The military has to scale back enlisted personnel. Contractors' jobs disappear. Places like Destin turn into a ghost town almost overnight. All the support businesses whose life blood is the money pumped into the local community by tax revenue and personal spending by those contractors who now no longer have jobs. Property values are destroyed by bank foreclosures. No more weapons R&D - only manufacturing so the USA looks to reduce product costs and outsources to the only logical place - China. Long story short is that there would be no end to the number of people adversely affected by your blunder (of not making a mistake) and there would be some serious money at stake. Your life wouldn't be worth a plug nickel and no way to ever solve the murder - too many people with motive.

Even in my day, weapons delivery systems were accurate. Not like today but not too bad. Despite the precision involved, my favorite bombing is carpet bombing. Widespread, dense and highly effective. Did I mention loud? When a squadron of B-52's fly overhead and each drops a bevy of 2,000 lb bombs, it is quite a show.

You forgot to mention the vaporization of Tehran. We could then take over the Persian rug business, redeploy all DOD employees to rug looms and make a killing. Of course, then a union would be formed and the union would insist on workers only knotting 200 knots per square Cm. But then there is all that oil.

I thought sweatshops of children working their little fingers till they're bloody would be part of your plan...

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Well, that wouldn't change. Someone gots to train the Americans. After all, they have had a 5,000 year head start. But our good ol' unions would ensure they get good medical care.

And when we finally did take it over, quality would plummet and cost would increase. Moral: buy all the Persian rugs you can get your hands on.

I already have plenty of them. Probably made by aforesaid children in sweatshops.

That's right you did...I forgot. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Yes - carpet bombing. It just sounds so comforting somehow.

I saw where several countries are trying to outlaw cluster bombs. I also saw how the USA (surprisingly) was so adamantly against the idea. Imagine that. I was in Kuwait after GF #1 and saw much of the unexploded cluster ordnance in Wafra. I also saw how US companies were paid millions of dollars to clean it up. It was the first time I had ever seen a country make a tidy profit on poor quality control - in other words, paid to clean up their mistakes. The concept is brilliant. Auto companies could learn a lesson. No more expensive product recalls. No more class action lawsuits. "You want me to fix that exploding Pinto I sold you? Yeah, I'll do it. Gonna cost ya though. What? You don't think your life is worth a $1,000 repair bill? Would you settle for $500?"