Oh, to me, her fantasy sounds just like what they all go through. Having OM be the dad, and son not noticing anything amiss is just the regular fog talk. Same about you visiting, and not him. We see this stuff here every day.

The part about saying goodbye to her dad, and not calling anyone next time seems very ominous to me. I would see attorney, and ask neighbor to write out a statement. She should only be with son when supervised.

I'm not extremely worried, because she was sure that son wasn't around the first time. Years ago, my neighbor attempted suicide, and she had both my kids and her kids in her home.

((((BC)))

Your WW needs psychological help immediately. I would be afraid that not only may she hurt herself but maybe you or your son also.

I'll be praying extra hard for your family today and tomorrow at church.

Still

I agree.

Get the neighbors to put their story in writing.

rwinger,

The only reason OM is still alive is because DS needs me. I wouldn't need a gun neither. If I started swingin, I wouldn't stop until he quit moving. If his nerves are twitching, too bad.

believer, still, and pep

My neighbors are willing to do whatever it takes to protect DS. I think he's safe as long as MIL is in town. This week I will consult SH and my attorney. After WW is gone I will talk to MIL and WW's IC about the incident. I can't risk her finding out what I am doing while she has access to DS.

I do have DS tonight, WW had POKENO. When she dropped him off, she still looked horrible. She did say her and MIL would be by tomorrow to do some laundry. She'll probably have DS when they leave and I won't get him back until Wed.
For now I have to play it cool.

I did have a blast with DS tonight though. We were at a neighbor's house for a BBQ and we cut up all night. I didn't get him to bed till almost 10. I love that kid, he's so much fun.

I'll keep ya'll posted.

Prayers are appreciated. I will be having an hour long one on one with God at Church tomorrow.

Is there any chance your MIL would help your WW to get away from you with DS?

If it's really true that OM is out of the picture and she's insane... she might want to leave without a word to start a "new" life somewhere?

When suicidal atemps get old she might go for other desperate actions?

Consider everything.

Glad so see your DS3 has such a great father.

Oh, BC! I am so sorry that you have having to deal with SOOO much...I think that you will make some good decisions regarding you and DS...

Have you checked into IC for you and DS also? You mention how angry that you are with OW...I was just thinking that you may need a healthy outlet for that...

Let us know how things go...I look forward to hearing from you today!

(((((((BC)))))))

I am just reading back on your sitch... I have to suggest a more pronounced plan of action. The police and child protective services should be called immediately. Your wife should not be allowed any time with your son and I mean NO time at all until a mantal health professional gives you assurances that she is not a harm to him. ANYONE hearing what she has done and has said to the neighbors would not want to trust their children with her... you shouldn't either. While I KNOW that you want to get your WW some help... frankly, job #1 for you right now is to protect your child at all costs.
You need an emergency hearing to get a restraining order and to possibly have her committed. The testimony of your neighbors would make this a slam dunk case.
I hope your ww gets the help she needs and that you have the support of her family.

MEDC

lost,
I really don't think MIL would help WW run away. Right now DS will be at my parents house when WW returns from NH. I won't bring him back until he has some sort of protection. My parents are in state, so I can't get in trouble for sending him there. MIL is out of state, so if they try to run I can put out an AMBER alert. Then she would have a kidnapping charge against her. MIL knows that. She's only half crazy.

Rin,
right now the gym takes care of my anger from the sitch. I currently have the ability to talk about my anger without actually getting angry. If that changes I will seek counseling. I am afraid that DS will need counseling to unwash his brain. I don't want this to resurface later in life for him. I'm hoping since he is barely 3 that he will just forget over time, but you never know. I'm keeping a close eye on him and not overlooking anything he says or does.

MEDC,
I know she has an IC session today or tomorrow and an appt on the 20th with her psychiatrist. I will inform her IC of the incident and try to get that info to her pysc as well. I'm trying my best to handle this in a manner that won't set her off. I will heed my attorneys advice on this. She will know what my chances are with custody and restraining orders. She's a bulldog and has gotten a friend of mine full custody of his kids when he went through something similar.

I will do my best to handle this properly for all parties.

WW was at the house yesterday with MIL to do laundry. We were alone in the living room at one point and she asked me if I really thought that she would harm DS. I told her that wasn't my main concern. I was worried about her having anothoer breakdown in DS's presence. I told her I would really like to see her concentrate on healing and recovery for a month or 2 before she was alone with DS again. I told her she could see him everyday, but I would feel much better if he was at home everyday while she recovered. She never responded. She dropped the conversation and started talking about something else.

She looked better and acted better yesterday and talking to family in NH preparing for her trip has woken her up a little bit. I can't trust it yet, but I guess it gave me a little hope that she may snap out of it as time passes and she realizes there is life beyond OM. I'm through with her, but DS deserves a healthy and loving mother. I want her to be a part of his life if she can get healthy.

Thanks for the responses.

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this.........

Do you think that the guilt from her affair is really what is behind all of this????

No, she feels way to entitled right now for that. I think she snapped before the A. She has a history of childhood trauma part of which resurfaced about a year and a half ago. Grandma died who she was very close to and Sperm Donor who inherited her millions decided he wanted to be her daddy after 30 years. Then about 6 months later we had some serious trauma happen to us. A close friend died a week before her due date and the baby was lost as well. This messed her up even more. After that suspicious things started happening at school and amongst friends and neighbors. We had it out at the end of May. I didn't know what was going on and didn't recognize the sitch. She visited Sperm Donor over the summer and returned to school immediately after in which she met OM. He was a player, recognized a desperate woman an worked his magic. She bit, thought he was the answer and ran. She gave up her entire life for him and as soon as she got settled in he dumped her. Now she sees no reason to go on. She started slipping along time ago and I feel has gradually progressed to the point she is now.

At least that's the short version

Also, I apologize if my writing has gotten crude. I've been catching he// on my other thread and I think I'm frustrated now.

Pep stood up for me though. Thanks Pep.
I guess my compliments from earlier have payed off..LOL

I am pretty shook up right now and it probably does show in my writing so bare with me. I have a lot going on.

hi, I don't really have anything to say...I'm just here supporting you! thinking about you!

So busy today...bookkeeper's out and I'm having to do some of that stuff too...

Hi, I was doing a little reseach this morning and thought you would be interested in this:

http://research.lawyers.com/Louisiana/Divorce-in-Louisiana.html#four

I think that it will ease your mind a little!

hope your having a good day!

Thanks Rin,

I don't know if it eases my mind, but the info is useful and appreciated.

I was with WW last night. I installed her cabinet and hung a picture. She ended up talking about what she is going through and it still isn't pretty. She's still suicidal, says she looks at her prescription bottles every day and thinks about it. She says she realizes the damage she has done to DS and the mess she has made and thinks the world would be better without her. She notices that DS wants to be with me most of the time and I know it's killing her. When I left DS wanted to come with me. She's barely holding on. I told her she could make things right with DS and that she was still young and had plenty of life to live. I told her to try and have as much fun as she could while in NH. The more active she is the more she'll see there's life after all this mess. I told her DS still needed her and she was still loved and people wanted her around. Nobody wants her to go anywhere. She says she's not going to do anything, she just thinks about it still. I don't know what to do with that. I think she's safe until she returns from NH. I have her BF up to date, I'll bring her mom up to date after WW leaves and I'll bring her IC up to date and then I'm going to let her go. It can't be me that saves her. She needs to save herself with the help of her support system. She'll always count on me to take care of everything if I stick around. I've been forced to choose between WW and DS and it's time for me and DS to move on. I pray to God that she embraces recovery and gets better. It will take a long time, but DS needs his mommy and he needs her to be healthy.

I am very sad. I wouldn't wish this [email]cr@p[/email] on my worst enemy.

How do you save your wife's life while divorcing her and protecting DS and maintaining your own sanity all at the same time?

The answer is you can't. So I am letting go of what I can't control and hoping for the best.

I don't want a pity party.

I want peace.

BC,

No matter what you decide you need to do, I wish you the best of luck for you and your son. No one here has fought as hard against such odds to save their family.

No pity. Admiration.

Good luck

BetrayedCajun, peace be with you and your son.


"Please Lord rest your hand on Mrs BC shoulder and help her in her time of need. Give peace to BC and BC's son. Bring a better life to all those involved."


God's speed BC

No pity here either. We have seen the odds that you have faced and no one is going to fault you for doing what you need to do for you and your son!

That's the difference between knowing what we can control, what we can, and the courage to change what we can!

It's courage, plain and simply...

I agree with Christner! And prayed M2L's pray for your family!

BC, I stand in amazement at how you have responded. You are a hero.

Thanks Everybody

Maybe, that was beautiful

Than You

Your wife sounds a bit like me. I suffered emotional, physical, sexual and mental abuse growing up. I am also a FWW. I had an affair myself after several tramatic events in my life too.

It's taken me years to get to the point where I don't feel justified. Reading and MB has helped me tremendously. I definitely don't think I should be excused for my actions but I do feel there were many things that contributed to my breakdown- and the abuse was a primary thing.

I feel for your wife, even though she's done wrong. I cannot fully explain to you what it feels like to be in her place- it's an awful place to be.

Have you already come to the point where you do not want her back??

Perhaps it would do her some good to hear you say that you forgive her??? Even if you do not want to reconcile.