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(Pulling up slowly in a pimped out '70's Buick LaSabre convertible, with maroon crushed velvet seats, shag carpeting, and a pimped out stereo system blasting AC/DC "She got the JACK"...)
Yankee HO: Why...hi there! (batting fake eyelashes) Did I hear there is a PARTY going on in here? Because I LOVE a party.
(Pouring herself out of the pimped out ride, the Yankee HO is wearing skin tight leather pants two sizes too small and has a bad case of camel toe. Her pedicured toenails are painted fire engine red, and she's wearing her F-me toeless pumps)
Yankee HO: Where are the men? Where is the booze? Turn up the music, because I LOVE to dance...
(She begins to gyrate in a way that can only be described as having sex on the dancefloor. Her boobs are so big and fake, that they occasionally bounce completely out of her leather halter top.)
(She heads straight for the tequila.)
Yankee HO: Sooooo...who are you handsome? (In that low, sexy, scratchy Lauren Bacall voice.) What? You're married. Oh, what she doesn't know doesn't hurt her. You're kinda cute! Wanna buy me a drink?
You're out of money? (pouty lips)
NEXT!
(Seeing the hostess of this HO Down, she ditches her prey and heads over waiving her hand.)
Yankee Ho: Hi, Strivn. Thanks for throwing this open bar party! I can NEVER get enough! Hey, I brought you a gift...
(Stivn opens it slowly and suspiciously... Hmmm, a seemingly harmless can of peanuts.)
[color:"red"]...SURPRISE!!![/color]
A SNAKE in a can!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />
Kinda fits with CJ script. Needs a background song go with it. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
(Rushing to the hostess in an apparent panic, Yankee Ho trips on her F-me pumps and looks quite graceful.)
Yankee Ho: EXCUUUUSE me! Hostess!! Do you happen to have any safety pins? I seem to have had a "wardrobe malfunction" here!!
(As she adjusts her leather halter top to fit even TIGHTER--how can she breathe in that thing?--Yankee Ho spots another unknowing victim...'er....potential soulmate.)
Yankee Ho (running toward him, with the twins bobbing and weaving like a girl on a trampoline): Yoo Hoo!! Hi!!! (batting fake eyelashes)
Oh my goodness, you all really know how to make me blush. Really, I would not ever be a Ho, I am too refined and I am just a Husband's "friend." I have .....safe relationships with husbands and can't help it if wives feel threatened. After all, as I said I would not ever be a Ho, notice I did not say I would never be a Ho. After all, THERE IS A DIFFERENCE!!!!!!
I just like to tease and flatter and get compliments!!!!!!!
I CAN'T HELP IT IF A HUSBAND MIGHT LIKE TO BE FRIENDS WITH ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ALL THIS HO TALK IS STARTING TO MAKE ME........ANGRY................I AM A PERFECT LADY, BUT I CAN ONLY BE PUSHED SO FAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, SO YOU BETTER WATCH OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(CLEAR THROAT, ADJUST SWEATER, PRIMP HAIR), LOOK AT MARRIED MAN/HUSBAND PROSPECT ADORINGLY
Lake BW-53 FWH-54 H had EA 3 weeks 06 Married 1977