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I've often thought the same thing about a reality series. Or at the very least, I now realize that soap operas ARE reality TV, or they should have that little disclaimer that runs at the end of Law and Order..."not based on actual events (wink wink nudge nudge)."

And all this time I've been thinking those shows were so far-fetched...

PS: WHEN is that girl's birthday?!?

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I think they kinda did that, Sis. Didn't the advertisement for Law and Order used to say "ripped from today's headlines"?

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PS: WHEN is that girl's birthday?!?

December 15th

We have reservations for her favorite place in town. The Briarwood Inn in Golden. Just a few blocks away from where they make that slightly tainted, watery, faintly yellow, flavorless beer.


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Just a few blocks away from where they make that slightly tainted, watery, faintly yellow, flavorless beer.


Yes, but they build a nice stadium

that sells Bud Light!

He11 yeah!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />


BS 33 EXWW 35 DS 5
OM1 9/06 - 03/07
OM2 04/07 - present
Divorced May 8, 2008
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I got a win in my first official high school game last night. 49-32. Well okay, the boys got a win. I personally did not take, make or miss a shot. I was told this was the first 3rd level win over the school we played in many years. All kinds of people I did not know came by after the game to congratulate me. That was nice.

We have a lot of work to do but it is coming together better and quicker than I originally thought.

One of the moms brought this platter of cookies for the team after the game. Her son was mortified. “Mom, that is sooooo recreation league. Please don’t do that again.”

At the post game talk I put out the cookies on a table. I am not kidding; they lasted less than 10 seconds. At least 3-dozon cookies grabbed, snarfed and swallowed in under 10 seconds. These boys have the metabolism of a hummingbird with a tapeworm.

I thanked her and told her to keep em coming and she better double up on the batch.

The JV and varsity did not fair as well unfortunately. The team we played is #1 ranked for 4A in Colorado and would still be top 8 if they were a 5A team. Two kids on their squad have already signed to D1 colleges. But there were good signs everywhere. I think this team will surprise a few people this year. It struck me at times how unbelievably cool this was to be on the bench helping with these kids.

DD19.958 was coaching across the city at the same time. Her JV team came up short but sounds like they did well and played hard too. DD was in a great mood when we met up later.

Wayzilla and Grandzilla were at her games. She said Wayzilla is sporting yet a new hair color. I asked how that went and she told me she never spoke to them.

Essshhhh, never spoke to them! I expect there will be some kind of unhappy reaction to that. I think DD is doing everything she can to put off the giddy “Important News” talk her mom wants to have. I suppose this has to come to a head sooner than later. How do we get our kids in the middle of this crap?

Have a great weekend all.


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GO TEAM, and COACH!!! Good to hear that teenagers never change (who tells someone NOT to bring cookies--crazy kid!)

Well, if DD soon to be 20? does not want to have the talk, telling her mother this would be the best course of action. DD soon to be 20? doesn't HAVE To talk to her mother about her personal R's. She has choices here. I would hate for her to think she HAD to because WZ is her mom.

Who gives a flying fart what reaction WZ and GZ have to DD soon to be 20 not talking to them? Hopefully, DD soon to be 20 will come to this place on her own, and sooner than later. She has been thru enough, and has the power to stop any further pain, maybe with her own version of Plan B?


Me-BS-38
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If only she could have a firm boundary with her mother over all of this; be completely honest, in a non-venomous way, and then let her mother alone to figure it out.


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On the rare occasion we even mention her Mom, this is what I tell her. But I can really see how deep her anger is with her mother.

There is a 20 year old guy helping out as an assistant for her JV coaching gig. His mom had an affair and left to marry the OM when he was in the 5th grade. He has yet to re-establish a relationship with her. DD told him about WayZ's insistence that the divorce and the affair had nothing to do with each other. He laughed and said his mom said the exact same thing and still maintains that.



Do I understand anger, yes indeedy doody! Well, hopefully, DD soon to be 20 will at least find a way to draw this boundary. The mommy/daughter relationship they had is tarnished forever, that's for sure.

I never experienced the divorce of my parents (I was very young when they parted ways), and I never had any attachment to my father, so I can only presume how painful this is for her. The death of my mother is probably the closest thing I can get to it, and that has been gut wrenching at times.

All I know is that YOU rock! YOu did such a good job, making every opportunity for recovery; your DD soon to be 20 knows that, and trusts you, admires you that much more for it.


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What SL said.

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How do we get our kids in the middle of this crap?

You didn't put her in the middle. You studiously avoided that. I watched you.

Congrats on the win, Coach! I bet that feels great. It should.

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DD probably did not think I was "The Rock" this morning. She was still sleeping when I was leaving for work so I went in to get her lazy butt up so she would not be late for work.

Her response, "Dad, I told you last night I have the day off today."

My response, "Ummmm...yeah....sorry...I remember that now. Go back to sleep dog gone diggidy nabbit."

I think when WayZ delivers the news and it's what we think it is, DD will go into her own Plan B.

After that only time will tell. I know we all reinforce that affairs don't last but I have sure heard of a lot of people's stories off the board these past few months that reflect long term affair marriges. Yuch!


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HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! You guys make me laugh! Thanks, I needed that today.

And this:

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I know we all reinforce that affairs don't last but I have sure heard of a lot of people's stories off the board these past few months that reflect long term affair marriges.


You just SHADDUP about that! I'm CONVINCED, remember? and Guy Smiley might be listening.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Glad to hear all your good news, chris. You deserve it.

Have a great weekend.

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Chris,

My dad announced to us that he was going to get married to the mistress.

The response from his adult kids was not pretty.

I wrote him a very long email explaining the consequences that he would face on my end if he took that step. He did it anyways, but I stuck to my guns.

I recommend your DD do the same. She needs to let WZ that you aren't the one making DD feel in any way.

DD is hurt and betrayed as bad as you are but in a different way. She will forever feel aftershocks from this. I have forgiven my dad, for example, but still lament what he did and wish he hadn't done it.

I stuck to my guns on dad's mistress. I never stayed in his house after he married this woman and there was no way I was going to go to stay in his house while married to her. My brother actually tried, but was very cold with the woman. Most I ever said to her was "Is my dad there?" when I would call.

But I got my anger off my chest in an email and DD may feel better for it if she does the same. WZ is clueless as a mom about what she did and how it's affected her daughter.

I really empathize with DD. That silence will eat her up inside.


D-Day 28 Feb 06
Plan D (Not by choice) - 24 March 06

DD6
DS4(Twin1)
DS4(Twin2)

She moved away with the kids April 08. I contested it and got a lot more time with my kids. She's unhappy that I want to stay involved in their lives and don't settle for being an "every other weekend" dad.

Never going to happen.

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My boys had their second game last night and we are still undefeated. A 33 point 3rd quarter and a 40-6 run during the second half gave the kids a solid 83-51 win. They are really buying into the new program. I have to coach the JV team at a tourney game tomorrow night. I have been getting to work by 7:00 each morning and I get home between 8:00 and 9:00 every night.

If you want a gig that helps get you past adultery and wayward stupidity try coaching high school. It is sort of a personal recovery "boot camp". No time to even think about POSOMs or HOs or Bulldozers of Stupidities or POWS or RTs or Baboons or Wayzillas. Nice!

DD19.969 is coaching tonight and I will try to get by the school as quick as I can after practice. There is a chance Wayzilla and Grandzilla will be there but that is no big deal. Tuesday was Wayzilla’s favored day to work down in Mordor Springs with Gollum anyway so my best guess is she won’t be there. As long as DD is no longer a player I expect she will grow bored of watching her coach anyway. She has higher priorities.

No word on the “Important News” yet. I am sure it will be a beautiful thing.


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Mornin', chris!

Snow is about melted in our neck of the woods, how 'bout yours?

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If you want a gig that helps get you past adultery and wayward stupidity try coaching high school. It is sort of a personal recovery "boot camp". No time to even think about POSOMs or HOs or Bulldozers of Stupidities or POWS or RTs or Baboons or Wayzillas. Nice!


Sssshhhh.....you'll have people lining up to take your job!

You sound great, chris, keep it up.

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Bulldozers of Stupidities

I wonder about IHC from time to time. And the others who drift away.

I'll probably do the same thing at some point. Even now, it's hard to read all the posts. Too much pain.

Congrats on the win. 33 points. Pretty comfortable.

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Hi SD.

I started reading here almost exactly a year ago. I was still down for the count at this time last year. It was NOT pretty. I will have already been divorced for 6-months next week.

There are a few people I think of here and where they went and how they are doing. Sometimes they just disappear at the height of their crisis. Not much left of the Killer Bees from last Spring.

I only really read a few threads anymore and sometimes jump into ones that are similar to my own experience or for some reason strike a chord. Like BC, I am not here near as much as I used to. That's probably a good thing.

Well, I'm off to practice. My best to your DS and DD. You have been a very good Dad through this.


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Well, good thing I don't think to much about POWS these days either...LOL...I have two of my own to couch every day...

I just LOVE being their motivation coach! I had to motive YS to stop talking back last night, this morning it's all "yes, ma'am!" That's what I like to hear! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Funny how we tend to remove ourselves from MB for a time and then come back...it's amazing that I can remove myself like that now when once I clung to MB all day and night long...

The famous words of BC: Life DOES go on! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />


A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge.
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I have two of my own to couch

Rin, be careful who you couch.



This was kind of funny.

I went to DD19.975’s game last night after practice. Her JV girl’s team she coaches was done (Shoot! A 4-point loss) and the varsity team she assists was about to start.

When I got to the gym I stood in the doorway and scanned the stands for Wayzilla in her normal seating spot. No WayZ or GrandZ. The game was a couple minutes from starting and I stood there in the doorway and talked to a few people.

First the Booster Club President, a 6’-6” big guy, comes over and with a crushing handshake congratulates me loudly on my boy’s team success. The AD secretary, a nice looking divorced woman came over and we laughed and talked for a minute. She is probably the most influential and powerful person at the school and I Plan A my butt off around her to stay on her good side. It’s not that hard to do. We always laugh and smile when we see each other.

Then a couple varsity boy players come by, yell, “Coach!” and want to do that knuckle touch greeting thing. One of my favorite kids from the JV walks by and loudly tells my how glad he is I am coaching their game tonight.

I walk past the student section and a bunch of boys call out, “Coach!” After a few more high fives and banter I take my seat. During the course of the game several people come over to visit and offer congratulations.

At the end I waited for DD to come out of the locker room. My next door neighbor does the books for DD’s games and came over to wait with me. She says, “Didn’t you see Wayzilla?”

Me: “She was here?”

Good Neighbor: “You stood about ten feet from her in the doorway for a few minutes.”

Me: “I take it she saw me?”

Good Neighbor: “Oh yeah, she definitely saw you.”

I never saw her. She was tucked away almost hiding in the opponent’s fans and parents by the door. She saw the whole show. She left at halftime and DD never took the time to speak to her while she was there.

She said after D-Day she wanted to, “Just be alone to find out who I am and where I am.” She found herself alone in the stands with nothing to do with anything that was happening there. Hiding. A total outsider in her daughter’s life. Gollum's lap dancer. That was her choice.


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Chris,

I am sitting here grinning from ear to ear for you right now.

You there, just living your life, being yourself, getting the positive recognition you so richly deserve, nothing contrived but oh so sweet after the events of the last year.

THEN,,,, bonus to know that Wayzilla was there to witness your true life. It has to feel good to know that it was all right there for her to see - so clear what she gave up when she walked away AND that you have made a real life for yourself.

YOU have a true relationship with DD and are admired throughout the community! While Wayzilla is huddled in the with 'visiting' team - because that is what she has chosen to be ,, an outside visitor.

WS's really need to be more careful what they wish for! They seldom are happy for long when they get it.

Merry Christmas my friend! YOU are an inspiration in true recovery!


BS (me)
ExWS -Drac
DD 9
DSS 15
D Day 11/06
Divorced 10/01/07

"You Can't Fix Stupid" - My Mom
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WOW!!! That's SOOOOO AWESOME!! I'm almost envies, LOL...

I would love for something like that to happen to me!!! One of these days, I'm sure!

Are you trying to say that I CAN'T COUCH ANYBODY????? LMAO...

That was funny!

GO CHRIS!!!!

:high five: SMACK!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />


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I think it is ROCKIN' that the community folks love their coach so much. WZ is a DORFUS.


I have been thinking quite a bit about the Killer Bees. Faithfulwife CJ kinda fell off the map (did she announce she was leaving/?) She had a lot to offer the Bee's. There are others, that I cannot remember their call-names, that were in the midst of a lot of turmoil and then just dropped out. (Can y'all tell that my memory is not so good--good thing for PWC, eh.)


Me-BS-38
Married 1997; son, 8yo
Divorced April 2009
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