Try not to let your ups and downs be tied to anything he says or does. Hard, I know.

Please believe that you are doing stupendously. You are making progress, and the conflict is killing him. He will take it out on you, but the more he is angry and unpleasant, the more your Plan A is getting to him.

In a strange, backward way, it is a good thing for him to be a jerk right now. It means he's on schedule and following the script.

Curious how long BSs have been able to continue with Plan A??

I'd like to hear how long you stayed in plan A after WS moved out?

And those of you who's WS didn't move out, how long did plan A go on?

I did Plan A for about 9 months - MUCH too long. I think the Harley's suggest 3 to 6 months for women, more for men, since they have more of a sense of competitiveness.

when do you count the starting point?? DDay???


sorry about the t/j....

You start when you started doing a solid Plan A with no angry outbursts or disrespectful judgements.

so i've been doing plan A for about 3 months, very, very minor LB here or there.... just doing a little thinking about how much longer I want to keep up with plan A... I'm going to start studying up on plan B this weekend.

NOT, wouldn't consider that a TJ

Did he show up?

my wh? no, wasn't expecting him tonight, the kids all ended up with plans so dinner was put off until tomorrow, I can't help but hope that inconvieniances the warthog

I'm having a heck of a time... thinking let him go... and he will come back,

but let him go... and he will forget about us ;-(

It is always a risk, but it is also a risk to wait too long. You will lose that love for him. Even if it doesn't seem that way now, wait till he comes back and tries to fix things...THAT'S when the anger really comes through (for the BS). SO, you need to make you move while your love is still strong. You are nearing the end of that period, and have done a fantastic Plan A. I would say you really do need to think about it soon, SS.

During my countdown shortly before Plan B, several people posted on here that Dr H was now recommending shorter Plan A's. 1 1/2-3 months for women, and 3-6 months for men.

Apparently in many cases it was taking too big of a toll on the Love Bank when it went on for longer.

If you've made it to 3 months of Plan A, it's probably time to at least start thinking about Plan B.

(((Serenity))))

I gave you an assignment....the MENU.....don't think I didn't forget in all my drama over here.......lol

So your talking Plan B??? let's plan it together....

see ya tomorrow hun...

not2fun

When I had my counseling with Jennifer I asked about Plan A, and how long I should stay in plan A before I go to plan B. Here's what she said.

Can any one please help me with sending a post. I dont know how to make a post.
very much appreciate it.
thanks
Alex

Alex,

Just go to the forum that covers the topic you want to post about. Right above all the topics, you'll see a button marked "Post".

OT: do you mean a new one for you? If so click on the section you want to post in. (I suggest general questions II) then at the top just above the actual posts there is a button that says {POST}. Click on that and you will see a small box that you can put subject information and then a larger one that you can post your situation. Then scroll down and there is a continue button. Hit that and preview your post. If you want to change anything scroll down again to fix it and hit continue to view the new changes.

Right above the index for General Questions you will see a button that says "Post".

(((Serenity)))

nice t/j there, huh??? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Ok girl, you are in the doghouse, where is your menu????
Hmmm...anyway, good luck tonight, make sure YOU are looking hot....of course, for me I tend to get more reaction out of WS when I am not trying to look hot...(not saying I look bad, just that I wear nice clothes, just not thinking this will be the outfit to knock him on his knees with.... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />))....

Oh well, we have another snow day, and more bad weather on the way tday and tnight, so we may end up with another one tomorrow....gotta love the midwest....they never know how to plan for bad weather.... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

not2fun

So... SS...

Tonight was the night that your WS was supposed to come over for dinner...

We gotsta know....

Did you...

Feed him a cake baked with Salt Peter?

Smear sparkly stinky perfume all over him?

Put a pair of your sexy panties soaked in stinky perfume in his glove box?

Kiss him on the forehead with bright red lipstick before you sent him out the door?

Then follow up by sending a sexy picture of yourself to his phone?

Tell us all…. We gotsta know…

LOL

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

I don't know if you are all ready for this. So WH runs kids to dentist appts... here and there... texts saying son and he are going to movie, and then oops change of plans else where, per sons idea... then what time he'd be home. Well girls were ;-) at their friends for the evening and WH was dropping son off at drivers ed and then coming over for dinner with me and the girls. So he thought, I got rid of the girls ;-) So... he walks in and the table is set... enchilladas his favorite! Candles and wine glasses. I was just taking the enchies out of the stove when he walked in. I was wearing my new VS sexy pink pj's and the f-me heals I picked up this summer. Lets just say... enchies got cold!! and then when he left, I called warthog and said "guess what I just did?! Yep that's right I just did your boyfriend in the kitchen and the dining room!!" She just slammed the phone down!

Oh shoot it's not April 1st... darn I'm a few weeks early!!



Really though... I didn't make his favorite. I made tacos, he usually loves them. He and son came in just about the time they were done, he flipped on the tv and complained of a belly ache, boo hoo. Then he only ate 1, I figured he was saving room for dinner elsewhere. But I wasn't going to let it get to me! He stuck around for two hours... an hour and a half longer than I thought he would. I doubt as oldest DD pointed out to me that they would eat that late, by the time he did leave ;-) We did a little money talk and that was 'about' it.

So it's been about 2hrs and I text him, knowing he's careful about not reading it around her, like he ignores hers until he goes into the bathroom, or whatever... anyway I said "hope your belly feels better, hope the taco didn't make it worse. Sweet dreams (of me) and then maybe you'll have a story to tell me tomorrow night."

LOL!!! I crack myself up. it's been a half hour with no response, I'm not really expecting one.