(((Serenity))))

Sorry to hear about this...it had to be hard to see..when you first learned his password and was able to see their emails, I tell you, it was one of the reasons I put off putting the keylogger on my PC. And when I finally did, well, I got more than I bargained for (thats what I get for having a WS who never deletes ANYTHING....). But the good point to that was, he could not continue to lie to me about the affair. Now, I am also glad that I told him afterward that I knew the password so he could change it (back when I first was trying to go to Plan B....), because I didn't want to be "tempted" to see their crap any more.

Anyway, hon, I really don't have to much to say, since I haven't been the best of examples lately....but I will say that you need to listen to everyone carefully....especially that MIMI chick...(where's that dang rolley-eyes icon????....lol..jk mimi, you know I love you more than my luggage....)

I agree with Mimi about your self-estteem....you may not see it as an issue, but the rest of us do. YOU ARE AWESOME....YOU ARE WORTHY THAN THE TREATMENT HE IS GIVING YOU.....Remember that...you have been a dear friend to me in my darkest hours...you have held my hand, were one of the first to reach out to me, and have made me laugh when I thought I never would again....REMEMBER THAT....and now I want to return the favor.

I told you a while back we could do our Plan B together, remember??? Well, sista, I am there....

anyway, keep us posted, and you know what to do....

not2fun

Yeah, Serenity, this is a great post from Mark.

I'd like to add that Plan B takes the power away from the WS and gives it back to you. Believe me, I didn't see this at first. I didn't want to go to B so soon but I decided to do it.

Then about a week before B, Mr. Gray started communicating with me again after giving me the silent treatment for nearly 3 weeks after the temporary hearing. Angry because his butt was singed when my Doberman trumped his a--.

Then I REALLY didn't want to go to B but I HAD to and I knew it. It was about 10 days before Christmas when I went into B and it was absolutely the right thing to do.

Then he can ignore you all he wants but it's by YOUR choice, not his. Because you take that power away from him.

Hang in there!!!!

(((((((Serenity))))))))

Charlotte,

You are so dead on about this. It's your choice, your plan and your decision.

That's also one of the reasons I believe in Plan A and B so strongly. It helps to give you some choices, in a situation where choices have been totally taken from you.

That helps you to learn about yourself and your walk in life.

IMHO

Thank you, Queenie!!

So true what you speak! I am glad I didn't back out and wait to go into B!! So, so very, very glad! And thankful to those who pushed me and kept my mind on track to do the right thing and do it!

It is SO empowering! I wish I could express it better...or take the feeling and put it into this post!

I have learned a lot and I'm learning more each and every day.

To B or not to B?

I can answer that for you a thousand times over: TO B, TO B, TO B!!

*********************EDIT******************

i don't think she should necessarily go out dating BUT plan b would sure make him start thinking what she is doing. he won't have any access anymore. DON'T LET HIM THINK YOU ARE JUST SITTING THERE PINING AWAY FOR HIM! NO WAY!

Plan B and live your life and do great and look great as if nothing is awful wrong.

that's what i would do.

mlhb

Hi SS,

I'm just checking on you... How's things?

Keep your chin up. I know it's hard to have a positive outlook when you're hurting.

It might be good to do something to get your mind off the affiar for a while... do something for you or the kids... Then when you're ready ... re-engage. Too much drama definately drains you emotionally and physically. Take a break and do something for you.

You're still in my thoughts and prayers.

Thanks,
I'm doing well. VERY busy with work!!!! And running three teens here and there is keeping me from sinking ;-) That and lots of prayers from here! I know I'm becoming sronger each day thanks to God. I know I've got a long way to go when it comes to self esteem.
I won't go and even try and make WH "wonder" about me and going out etc. That's very UNeverything I believe in! I'm standing for my marriage. He has to know that, he has to know that I am praying for u know who (s*t*n) to release him from his sinful ways so he can be reunited with his family.

I'm praying for my BS buddies, FBSs, and wonderful supporters!! Thank you all!!

I'm proud of you for saying that Serenity. I admire you for your comittment and walk the same path as you.

I really didn't realize how similar our sitch are from kids, to self-esteem's, to stand for marriage.

You are awesome....

Thank you Queenie, I find you awesome and strong as well. Don't you hate the emotional roller coaster that we're still on! Geesh! I have often marveled at the sameness in our situations. Then at times it seems like we're all so different. Amazing the uniqueness we all have in our lives!

It is amazing. I think it's what helps us get through these awful times.

How are you doing tonight

Better now than a few hours ago. WH bought himself a new car. That made me sad, reminded me of the other times he's spent large amounts of money with out any input from me.

I hadn't said I love you to him in a long time. So I reminded him that I still did. And that I had been doing a lot of praying for him. He smiled and said he needs all the prayers he can get. I asked him to please not be so hard and closed up to possibly seeing signs from God. He said he wouldn't. He doesn't believe the way I do. Religion was never really discussed and I wish it had been. I'm praying for his heart to soften and for him to return home.

Lucky you with the spring weather! Sure we have sun, but we still have two feet of packed snow on the lawns... it'll take forever for it to melt!!

My WH went out and bought my daughter a car and strapped her with a huge car payment. That was certainly a sore subject with me and in some ways the really start of his demise. Mine thinks he has a great relationship with G-d.

Plan B is easier in so many ways. I just don't see the drama and I love that. I hold my love for him in a little compartment in my heart, tucked away safely while G-d takes care of him. I walk in FAITH that my M will be restored and that is the blessing that everyone talks about.

But if not, I am ok with what G-d is doing in me and will continue becoming stronger and blossoming. You and I love our H's so much, but they aren't there right now. So we need to take care of ourselves and the love we have for them.

Hey Serenity,

It's late, I can't sleep. How are you girlie? I'm thinking about you.

Hey there Queenie. Sorry you couldn't sleep last night. I stay up way too late, maybe that's why I don't have trouble sleeping. Have decided if you'd try to take something so you could get some restful sleep? I would hate not being able to sleep, I think you need to be well rested to take care of yourself emotionally.

Serenity,

Where are you? What's happening?

I'm here... but not as often lately. Been keeping busy with work and the kids. WH is still way-wayward. No gettin' through his thick head... so I'm doing a better job of letting God take care of what needs to be done. Praying often for WH to soften his heart, see the signs that God is putting in front of him, etc.

By telling this next bit of information it really gives up who I am, if for some reason someone were to come looking for me. No big deal I don't think I've been too brutal on anyone 'cept warthog ;-)

I'm on the receiving end of a wonderful unasked for prayer/miracle, whatever you want to call it! My sister who is 10yrs younger than me did something silly and followed in big sis's footsteps and joined the Army. Then she was stationed in Korea where she met her DH. They then got stationed in Washington State... about as far away from me as you can get (stateside). He did two tours in Iraq, then went to recruiting school. She called the other night to let me know they are being sent HERE!!! This is just too good!!! Depending on where they decide to live they'll be at the most an hour away, but could be as close as down the street! I'm soooo excited!! They will be here in less than a month! I go from having NO ONE but my kids for family, to having my sis, her dh, and their two little boys!!!!

Good for you. I know what you mean. I'm in the military and at most of my duty stations I have not had any family close by execept wife and kids...

Sometimes I feel like I've been away from home for 20+ years and I get home sick...LOL Imagin that ... a 40 year old man being home sick....LOL

Hi Soon,

That is great news about your sister.

How are you hanging in there? Are you still on your Plan A? If so, do watch out for expectations...I see them creeping back in there in your last few posts.
Your reluctance for going into Plan B makes a little more sense now. You fear complete isolation don't you? You can always keep it on the backburner and implement later now that you will have a support system near by.

How are the kids these days?

I keep praying for your family dear. Keep your head up OK.

I worry about my wife finding me on here sometimes... and then again there's some days I really don't care if she does...


The "Don't care" days are becomeing more and more frequent ...