Dang Woman, you are good.

I was just sitting here thinking the same thing. As I was getting up to go do the BEAUTY GODDESS mode and dye my roots back to their ORIGINAL color.

GOOD FOR YOU!!

FOCUS ON THE PRESENT!!

GET UP AND DO SOMETHING!!

THE PAST IS GONE FOREVER!!

HELLO, FUTURE!!

You should really consider being a dr. You are FABULOUS at cutting open someone and removing the bad, icky feelings.

UP, UP and AWAY I GO..

Oh yes...

HEAD'S UP, CHEST OUT, AND NEW COLOR HAIR, HERE I COME....

ONE WHOLE WEEK, I made it one whole week without looking online for him, checking son's email or using the calling log. ONE WHOLE WEEK.

It's been harder the last couple of days and my spirits have really been down, but I just sat through it and prayed and wrote.

My OS had a game tonight and he won 13-6. He had 3 goals and one assist. WH showed up for the first time at this ones game. I felt him immediately, he stayed for part of the 3rd quarter and then left, when my YS got out of practice. He was all the way at the top of the stadium on the other side of the field and I saw him immediately. Why is that? He didn't bring her, and he didn't get to see the 4th quarter which was when our son really shined.

Ok, Miss Mimi, someone just called you the Plan B Queen. How am I doing so far. How will I know if I am doing a great Plan B?

WOW a week without checking in, Good job Queenie!! I know the temptations!! You are getting so much stronger on that! Congratulations to OS! Sounds like a great athlete.

Keep bein' positive ;-)

You're a better woman than me Queenie. Had I done Plan B, I KNOW I wouldn't have made it because I'm a snooper by nature (it's in my genes). But then I guess I would have had MB behind me daily reminding me not to go there.

I'm so proud of you! Stand strong. We're here holding up up.

Hey Queenie!

Haven't popped in on your thread in awhile (but we talk so it's all good).

When you get a chance read my latest news--I've got a new thread going.

Love you lots. You're doing so beautifully in Plan B...

Smartie

So am I a snoopy by nature. But this is WAR and I might have lost battles, and I may lose the war, but I am going down with a FIGHT.

I WILL NOT GIVE IN. Too much is riding on this. I love him too much to stop now. BUT it's hard, not knowing anything. It's killing me.

I need the holding up PM. I really do. I miss him so much and am very scared this is just giving him what he wants, but there is no other way.

Smartie..... I LOVE YOU...... Unfrigginbelievable.

((((Queenie)))))

I'll catch up more tomorrow. I just ran out of steam.

Man, I HATE moving..... I'm just too old for this.

Hi Queenie,

Sounds like you are doing fine with the plan B.

I hope it brings you more and more peace with each day that passes.

As I read the stories of ongoing plan A's when the WS is still actively in the affair and the transition to plan B's I am truly humbled at the strength I see here. I didn't have to do either a plan A or B really, and I often wonder if it had been necessary, would I have been up to the challenge or would I have just given up and divorced.

Guess I'll never know.

I'm glad that you are finding the strength to continue. One day at a time!

Who

When I stopped snooping and communicating at all with my WS, my days got a little easier. I still think about him constantly and it nearly kills me to think of him with OW, but I'd be back in the psych ward if I didn't have my intermediary person to go to. She communicates with him if I need to let him know something and vice versa.

Stay strong Queenie!

Hey Queenie,

I had been snoop free for several weeks and starting to feel better. Then I checked his email and got walloped again. Fluctuating between despair and rage. My advise is close eyes and ears to WH!

Hi Who and LA,

Thanks for your support. It helps. It does get easier, but then there are those days it's just so sad. My AA meeting last night was really good, it was on the chapter in the big book called Two Wives.

I think I get jealous of others on here that when they went into Plan B, their WH tried to contact them or mess them up. Mine hasn't that I know of, ONE BIT. It's like I just have ceased to exist in his world. That hurts, but I'll deal with it. After knowing someone for almost 30 years, it just hurts that he can just be done with me.

The ONLY HOPE I have that he might be trying is him showing up at the boy's games. Up until Plan B, he made no attempt whatsoever to see them. Since Plan B, he has seen my younger son at least twice, and come to the stadium for games. He is across the stadium and I can see him, but he can see me, that's even if he even notices.

Oh well - I miss him lots, but know that these feelings pass with time and I feel strong again. It's that darn rollercoaster ride and I hadn't them before too.

Thanks Kag for posting - I really appreciate your support.

You are so right, I do not want to go there and see what he is up to. He is sick, destructive and dangerous to me and my heart right now.

It's sad, for sure. But he is the one choosing this, not me. And each day, well I just walk through it and hope that it's a good one.

I still sometimes just can't believe this is all real. I wish I was just in a horrible dream and one day I will wake up and it will be over and he will be home safe, sound and healing.

Hi Queenie,

I just thought you were due for a reminder.

Prayers.

I miss you TMTS, How are you.

I did need that reminder, thank you.

Queenie,

Sometimes I wonder if I am handling this better than most. I had been to h@ll and back with my medically compromised son. I know there is light at the end of the tunnel. So knowing the wonderful stages of grief this latest trauma it doesnt seem too weird. Right now I am looping through denial, despair, and rage oh maybe a little revenge as well. I know acceptance isn't too far off...

The denial is that you just can't believe who this person has become...does not compute. The despair is for the person you once knew and the rage is for the current martian WH.

So very very true.. I've also been riding this emotional feedback loop myself..

Hi Kag,

In a way it's like they have alzheimers and they are just gone. Forever? I have know way of knowing. For now, it's just painful watching it go on and having everyone around me telling me just get over it. He's scum, he's the loser, etc.

I can't believe he is this person and I won't ever believe it was for the best. I'll just learn to live with it and move on and be what G-d wants.

Why can't I just stop loving him? Why did I have to fall so much in love with him that I would fight for this not really knowing if he will come home or not.

{{{{{{{{{{James}}}}}}} I know you are hurting too. I know you are being strong and building a life for yourself like everyone says, but I know that pain of sadness that still inside and I feel for you.

Do you ever wonder if they think they have dug themselves into such a big hole they can't get out. I mean everyone...my family, my friends, his family all despise him. How could WH make his way back even if he returned into his body and became the person I once knew and loved?

I just finished packing up all his stuff and moving it into the garage. Trying to clear my house of the negative energy! Trying to make it our place, my boys and me. Removing anything that elicits a painful memory.