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AWWW,

I know a little about personality types from my profession. This guy sounds like a person who "knows just enough to be dangerous."

From his last email as well to her that you just found, I don't think your WW is the first WW is his belt full of notches. He seems to display a heightened sense of inferiority that he tries to make up for in his "higher consciousness" rants...coupled with seducing and then abandoning women.

I am sure your WW thinks, "oooohhhhh, he is sooo wise; when he speaks it is like he is speaking into my soul."

He tells her what she wants to hear, your "cosmic beauty blah blah blah," he also absolves her of her guilt by arguing that morals are "outdated" and "rigid" and we need to all "find our own path."

It almost sounds like he has read the mindset of waywards here on MB and has tailored his message specifically to ensnare another one.

I am no vet, but this dude is going to be tough to fight because anything you say to make your WW see him for what he is will only drive her further away from you and towards him and his "wisdom." Getting physical, or showing any emotion toward him for that matter, I think will be counter-productive as well.

Speaking objectively (which is what I was unable to do in my own situation) it would seem that your WW is truly under a spell (he is sooo unlike you after all, hence the attraction) and while you may worry about her safety, you may have 1 chance or so to speak rationally to her about it, maybe get her family to weigh in, get the restraining order and do whatever it takes to stop meeting her needs like Schoolbus said and let him fall on his face trying, at which point, unable to do so, he dumps her. Then you decide if you want her back. After all like he says, you can't physically tie her down.

In her infatuation with his "super-powerful wisdom and insight" I can't see how logic and reason, especially from you, will have any effect except to drive her further away.

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Is he the only surviving member of the Heaven's Gate Cult?


I watch, and am as a sparrow alone upon the house top.
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:crosseyedcrazy: WTF?! That doesn't even make sense!!


Me(bw/fww) 39
recovering with amazing fwh/bh 36
DS 7
DS 4

His
EA Oct '07 - 7/2/08 (d-day)
NC 7/4/08

Hers
EA/RA 6/'09-3/'10
NC 3/17/10


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AWWW,

Wow. I guess this guy really is nuts. And the religion stuff I though about him is right on.

He has no right or wrong, the world unfolds before him, HE IS HIS OWN MAKER. Nice, that.

I would say you get done with your Plan A, quick. Get things in place for your Plan B. Get things lined up for some sort of arrangement on changing the kids back and forth - have the attorney you are talking to draw something up for you - and swap out to Plan B as soon as possible.

Leave this WW to her own devices with this man, because she will figure out exactly how controlling he is pretty quickly. You will not need to do anything. Start moving your money now. Work fast, because the gravy train she is on needs to jump the tracks, so the affair will run off the rails.

This guy is spouting the new hippie movement crappola, and your wife is caught up in the fantasy. When you kick her to the REALITY CURB, she will figure out what is what.

If she wants him and he wants her, then you lose little.

Sorry to be so blunt, but if your WW actually is buying this and wants to live with a drug-smoking, pill-popping, psychobabbling idiot, then she has that right. But you need a plan to fight for custody of your kids - so hang onto your emails, and get ready to rock and roll in court. No kids need to be around this man - he is certifiable. And you need to get any kids you can out of the situation, and if you cannot get your step-daughter out, you need to contact her father and help him get her out and with him, because if your wife is so caught up in the drug scene and with an obvious idiot, then she is not being anything remotely called

mother.


SB


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wow, very scary stuff.


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me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
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I agree with everything Schoolbus says.

Since he followed your step-daughter, trying to get her to "like" him, I'm wondering if SHE isn't his real target, and your WW is just a means of getting to your SD.


"Your actions are so loud that I can't hear a word you're saying!"

BW M 44 yrs to still-foggy but now-faithful WH. What/how I post=my biz. Report any perceived violations to the Mods.
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Quote
HE IS HIS OWN MAKER.

What? That would involve a lot of gin and tonics and a huge time traveling accident.

Quote
Since he followed your step-daughter, trying to get her to "like" him, I'm wondering if SHE isn't his real target, and your WW is just a means of getting to your SD.

LC, I was wondering the same thing. My mom-dar (mommy radar) went nutz when I read that.

Any man that old who cares THAT much what a 12 year old girl NOT RELATED to him thinks scares the bejeebers outta me.

Is there any way you can get an RO because of the following bit? That's too scary for words.


I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?

O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.

My Story

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If the "search" feature works, it doesn't work for me. However, there was a thread maybe a year ago from a man with the MB name of "Pablo." His wife's OM explicitly pursued the daughter in that case, about the same age as SD here, and it required legal action to keep him away. Fruit-loop in this story isn't as obvious, but his behavior still raises some troubling questions.

If anyone knows how to find that thread and put the link up so that it can be read by AWW, he may find that his situation has even more red flags than he thought.

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Wow, just Wow...

I agree, he knows enough to be dangerous.

My perception is...he has learned, been taught, been self-taught some really great things that he has turned around to rationalize all the crap in his life that DOESN'T fit with what he's learned...and how does he get away with it? By telling himself he learned what he needed and now he knows MORE than his teachers...HAH! A little humbleness and humility injected in this situation is the "medication" he needs...

I have met some really great and wise people who have talked in this way, and used some of the same words...BUT, they have made sense and were honorable and loving.

What I read here is many words and rationalizations to spell out the same old OM song and dance...

1. No one loves you like me
2. Your H doesn't understand you like me
3. He is a villain and has these bad traits...
4. We can be happy together, and free (or whatever other complaints the WW has had)
5. I can make you happier than he can
6. I win

Read between the lines, he has said nothing different than any other OM, just said it in mystical "I have the secrets of the world in my hands" kind of way. This is very dangerous, and I agree, very Manson-like.

The way he bombarded you with questions and the way he insulted you and belittled you were all tactics to knock you off balance and knock you down. He is in a battle with you, there is nothing altruistic about this...he is playing a game, an intelligent manipulation. There is NO reason to match him at his own game, he is good at word-weaving (word-snaking). Be simple and clear, use as few words as possible. Statements like..."I love ...." and "I do not trust your words" and "Leave my children alone".

He is wrong, we are animals...mammals last I checked, and top of the food chain. We hunt, we eat well, and we protect our families. Do not allow him to shame you out of your instinct to protect your family and yourself...

SHMI, I am WOMAN hear me ROAR!


Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance!
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I couldn't finish reading that... :crosseyedcrazy:

At least carry some pepper spray or a stun gun on you. What a freak.


BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011




Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.

We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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AWW,

This guy has all of the makings of a sociopath.

What really concerns me is that your WW has submitted herself voluntarily to this man’s warped influence.

You will not be able to “teach” this guy a lesson of any sort. We’ve seen it before. He will take any supposed lesson and morph it into his personal justification to do anything he wants. You can’t counsel this sort of sick mindedness out of someone, it’s just who they are for the rest of their lives unfortunately.

In the old days, we would simply beat this guy to within an inch of his life as many times as it took to get the point across that his behavior wasn’t good for him. Sadly, now you can go to prison for that.

That aside, you have to take the next step which is good for you. I agree with Schoolbus and others that you should execute a plan B. How can you plan A someone that is involved with a demented mind like this without risking all that you have left yourself. This guy probably has nothing to lose in the equation and you have EVERYTHING to lose.

Get the damn restraining order for goodness sakes. It’s cheap, effective, and will make his life a logistical nightmare; along with causing your WW the problems of how to deal with your SD being around the guy.

Just for your notes: all OM are pieces of crap and dealing with them is as much fun as scraping crushed slugs off of the sole of your shoe.

Have you exposed to EVERYONE yet? I may have missed that.


Plank.

My "Feelings on Honesty", My "Reasons why:", The Affair World

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There was a guy around here that talked like that. We called him "Cosmic Bob" because he always seemed to be on some other planet that the rest of us were never aware of.

There were those (usually young women) who considered him, witty, wise and philosophical...

He was an acid head...

His focus on one subject was about ten seconds or as many words most of the time.

One day "Cosmic Bob" decided the laws of physics didn't apply to anyone who refused to believe in them. He tried to fly...



This guy's not a mystic. He's high! :crosseyedcrazy:

He has also read too many childrens books. skeptical

Or watched too much Lifetime Movie Network... sick


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Hey wait a minute...

I like children's books and I watch Lifetime...

Please don't lump me together with that VaporousBabble speaking Son of a Guru...


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1. I think schoolbus must have one of the funnest jobs on the planet.

2. I agree with whoever said they've heard similar trains of thought from schizophrenics. I'm thinking of that movie where Johnny Depp sees this huge scary rabbit. It would take more than alcohol for me to understand his email. Something, but stronger than alcohol.

3. Scary dude. I'm thinking Jim Jones, David Koresh (sp?), Charlie Manson.

Do what SB said. And protect your kids.


me - 47 tired
H - 39 cool
married 2001
DS 8a think
DS 8b :crosseyedcrazy:
(Why is DS7b now a blockhead???)
(Ack! Now he's not even a blockhead, just a word! That's no fun!)
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He's likely a meth-using kid-toucher.

They are the fastest-growing segment of the population, ****edit****

Last edited by Dufresne; 10/28/08 07:40 PM. Reason: racist comment TOS Violation

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They are the fastest-growing segment of the population, ****edit****

Excuse me?

Last edited by Dufresne; 10/28/08 07:42 PM. Reason: removing edited text

I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?

O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.

My Story

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I was joking...it just seems that way around here.


After re-reading my post, I thought maybe "Hispanic" is the non-p.c. word to use. I'm not sure.

Last edited by Krazy71; 10/28/08 04:34 PM. Reason: Added the second part

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AWWW,

Trust me, his writings don't indicate schizophrenia.

Drug use, yes.

Lying behavior, yes.

Manipulation to effect others' behavior in favor of a return in gain of his own desires, yes.

Attempts to confuse you, yes.

Attempts to make you believe he is a threat while trying to remain technically innocent under the law, yes.

Schizophrenic, nope.


Schizophrenia shows up quite differently. Very interesting to read, by the way.


SB


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Originally Posted by jayne241
1. I think schoolbus must have one of the funnest jobs on the planet.

2. I agree with whoever said they've heard similar trains of thought from schizophrenics. I'm thinking of that movie where Johnny Depp sees this huge scary rabbit. It would take more than alcohol for me to understand his email. Something, but stronger than alcohol.

3. Scary dude. I'm thinking Jim Jones, David Koresh (sp?), Charlie Manson.

Do what SB said. And protect your kids.

That movie was Donnie Darko and the rabbit was Frank.



I watch, and am as a sparrow alone upon the house top.
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His words and actions make my skin crawl.
My gag reflex is also triggered.

Keep the kids as far away from him as possible. Even if he isn't a pedophile, he will try to exert influence over them, influence that as a stranger he has no right to use.

No boundaries. A creeping jellyfish.

If your SD ever calls you again, you offer to drive as close to the perimeter of the restraining order to pick her up, or walk as close to her as possible to meet her.

I'm not suggesting he is violent, though I don't know. But having her big strong step dad by her side, between her and the gag reflex triggering POS, will do wonders for her self esteem and for your father daughter bonding.

eeeeew. eeeeew.

By the way, my divorced mom had a few of these creeps in her life as well. We were about your SD's age. They would come on all grown up protective male, giving us a stern talking to about how we should be nice to our mother. Like they had some sort of authority or power over our behavior or our feelings, or some right to command us.

Curious thing was, that all of them had some little innocent wifey at home completely unaware of what their hubby was doing in his spare time........

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