Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 74 of 95 1 2 72 73 74 75 76 94 95
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 3,423
W
Member
Offline
Member
W
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 3,423
Hey, SL. Hope the ICK is all gone. How's things on the eastern front?

Fox

Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 6,643
Q
Member
Offline
Member
Q
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 6,643
SL, For so long you were here and now you are gone and just so you know, you are missed so much..


hug

Come back soon and know that you are loved and want to hear how goes it...


BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,516
M
mvg Offline
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,516
Boy it's been waayyy to long checking in on you! You sound GREAT!!!! Plan..focus...you ARE on the right road where ever that leads you. hurray

:happythanksgiving: to you and the little guy!

Hey add me to your email hit list if you will...I do enjoy hearing about your accomplishments and determination! hug


EA4-7/07,Dday7/29,NC 7/30/07
ME 47 WH 48
Married 30 yrs.
2 DD,4 GC
Found out
Learning
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 2,873
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 2,873
SL,

Quote
Hey add me to your email hit list if you will...I do enjoy hearing about your accomplishments and determination!

...ditto for me.


XBW
DS16 & DS22
PLAN D: finalized!
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 5,871
S
Member
OP Offline
Member
S
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 5,871
Hey ladies and gents,

Luna and mvg, I sent you two an email, so you are both in the loop.

Nothing new to report. Just waiting for the divorce and moving right along.

I have good and bad days, but luckily, they are the garden variety non-wayward related types. Just normal ups and downs. Today is rainy and blah so I feel a little rainy and blah. I loathe coldrainywetwintryweather. BLEHHHHH (a la snoopy). sigh

:pumkin: :gobblegobble: :happythanksgiving:

Thought I'd throw all of the Thanksgiving emoticons out there in case I don't get back here again this week.

I think of y'all often and pray we all find great reward at the end of this mess. Heck, sometimes it's reward enough to just be out from beneath that dark cloud the wayward has over them...


Me-BS-38
Married 1997; son, 8yo
Divorced April 2009
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 3,834
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 3,834
Silent:

Glad to hear about this:
Quote
Just normal ups and downs

And I don't like the cold blah weather either....

LG

Joined: May 2006
Posts: 5,871
S
Member
OP Offline
Member
S
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 5,871
Originally Posted by LG==ups man
And I don't like the cold blah weather either....

Yeah, it stinks. It really does tend to bring me down. I am a sun worshipper FO-SHO!!! I could deal with the cold, like yesterday, if the sun is out and the wind is down, but that's not the usual weather event here in the winter. Dank and cloudy is usually it frown

I can only hope that others here get to where I am, with the normal ups and downs. Let's put it this way, I believe the Z has a new woman in his life, and I thought it would bother me. It doesn't. My ONLY concern is for DS and if this woman will be good to him--be a positive influence in his life. IF not, she will be answering to this girl--I [censored] you not! wink


Me-BS-38
Married 1997; son, 8yo
Divorced April 2009
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 3,834
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 3,834
Silent:

I started in Michigan....

This here ain't so bad!

But I understand.....

I don't think I could ever go further south than North Carolina. I like some change in the Weather.

But with all this global warming, Maine will soon be the new Florida. So, you might not have to move to the SW.

LG


Joined: May 2006
Posts: 5,871
S
Member
OP Offline
Member
S
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 5,871
Originally Posted by Mr. LG
But with all this global warming, Maine will soon be the new Florida. So, you might not have to move to the SW

Well, after I'm gone, you can write me and let me know when things change, and I'll move back grin

I have always wanted to live in the SW. I've got friends there and they're steadily luring me out there. I'm happy to oblige, since it was never too far from my mind.

The way I see it, I got married and stuck to my man and my vows. I did ask him to move south of MD the year before all this crapola started, but I would have never forced such a major change/move on him, our marriage. Now, I'm going it alone and am not interested in compromising this with him. I AM interested in doing what is best for DS WITH this decision. I will work it out with his dad. I just won't give this up. I want this chance, this change. I can always come back, but I will kick myself if I don't do this now, when I'm young and DS is still young.

Anyway, y'all have already heard all of this before. I'm a big girl and I'm ready.


Me-BS-38
Married 1997; son, 8yo
Divorced April 2009
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 3,834
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 3,834
NolongerSilent:

Sounds like your talking yourself into it.

I visited the SW. Flew into LasVegas, and been to CA a couple of times.

No water there.

That's my issue.

Over the past 1009 years, from 1880 to 1860 was the wettest. So it's just going to get drier there.

Scary. They way they make noise about water when we are on the ChesBay and to think out there, your on the colorado, or you got nothing....

Eeek.

However, that's me. It can be a wonderful place to live. New Mexico seems more interesting the NV or AZ. CA is to expensive.

But you GO Girl. You have done harder things already. With alot less planning. DS, in this case, (unlike the wayward credo: "they will adjust") will adapt. Because his Mom will think about things, work some issues and have a plan that makes sense before she goes.

Makes all the difference in the world.

LG

Joined: May 2006
Posts: 5,871
S
Member
OP Offline
Member
S
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 5,871
Originally Posted by UPS man
However, that's me. It can be a wonderful place to live. New Mexico seems more interesting the NV or AZ. CA is to expensive.

But you GO Girl. You have done harder things already. With alot less planning. DS, in this case, (unlike the wayward credo: "they will adjust") will adapt. Because his Mom will think about things, work some issues and have a plan that makes sense before she goes.

Makes all the difference in the world.

LG

I will definitely do some travelling once I move. I have always wanted to see NM. Nevada-meh, not so much. CA--definitely San Diego--too expensive to live there right now.

I have always been a plans kinda girl, but MB has really driven home how wise it is to research and do all you can to make things as easy as possible. I've been reading a lot about how to help kids transition into a new environment, especially school. Lots of good info on what you can do to make the kids feel a part of the whole shebang, even though they cannot choose to remain in their old town, they can help choose where they will live, what their room will be like, and how you can help them at school (volunteering in the classroom on and off for a bit, getting involved in community sports/events right away).

The kicker is none of this would even have crossed my mind if I had a marriage on it's way to recovery. In many ways, I feel like I have been set free. I don't regret anything that I did anymore. I don't regret trying like h3ll to save my marriage. I have been working on forgiving myself for the mistakes I made in my marriage. It's been an uphill battle because I was sooooo convinced that i screwed everything up--taking the BLAME for the demise of our DINK status by getting pregnant. If anything, the Z is the idiot for looking at the situation as a bummer instead of seeing his son as the ultimate gift. I believe the Z feels more like his son is a gift now, but he also only sees him 20% of the time, so it's all about the fun stuff.

Anyway, I'm a happy camper.


Me-BS-38
Married 1997; son, 8yo
Divorced April 2009
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 2,965
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 2,965
Quote
I have always wanted to see NM.

I really like going down to Santa Fe for a weekend once in a while but it has been a long time. Very beautiful. Georgia O’Keeffe country.


Quote
Anyway, I'm a happy camper.

Cool!


Have a great Thanksgiving.


Testosterone boys! Testosterone! It aint just for nose, ear and back hair anymore!
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 3,423
W
Member
Offline
Member
W
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 3,423
GREAT news, Miss Lucidity!

I think of you often and hope things are going well for you and DS.

Have a fantastic Thanksgiving and keep those plans amovin'.

Fox

Joined: May 2006
Posts: 5,871
S
Member
OP Offline
Member
S
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 5,871
DS is home sick today, with a sore throat, cough and tiny smide of a temperature. I am at work getting some things that MUST be done today finished and then I'm outta here.

DS is doing very well. He just finished his last football game of the season. Their record is 4 wins out of 7 games. DS carried the ball for 10 yards before they pulled his flag this Sunday. It was his third carry of the season. HE's not the most athletic kid, but the coaches have worked with him and he's drastically improved. It was so fun to watch him go. He was so pleased with himself. The tournment single round eliminations start in two weeks, and then that's it until baseball season in the spring.



Me-BS-38
Married 1997; son, 8yo
Divorced April 2009
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 6,643
Q
Member
Offline
Member
Q
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 6,643
Quote
I just won't give this up. I want this chance, this change. I can always come back, but I will kick myself if I don't do this now, when I'm young and DS is still young.


For some reason this made me think of when life gives you lemons, make lemonade. And you my dear seem to be making the grandest ones of all. Nice and sweet, with such promise.

Moving can be very good. When you heal yourself internally first and look forward to the possibilities instead of running away, which is exactly what you are doing.

The southwest is just magnificent and beautiful.

Happy Thanksgiving to you if you don't get a chance to check back.

:gobblegobble: :happythanksgiving:


BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,900
J
Member
Offline
Member
J
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,900
You're sounding great SL! Keep on keepin on girl, you're doin it right.

Oh.. and I'm with Queenie all the way when I say..


Nice lemons grin


Me - 32
DS - 5
DD - 13
DSD - 9
D final 12-8-08
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 5,871
S
Member
OP Offline
Member
S
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 5,871
You know at this point, I think I took the lemons, grabbed some limes, sugar, grand marnier, good tequila and made myself some margarita's grin


Me-BS-38
Married 1997; son, 8yo
Divorced April 2009
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 6,643
Q
Member
Offline
Member
Q
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 6,643
Quote
You know at this point, I think I took the lemons, grabbed some limes, sugar, grand marnier, good tequila and made myself some margarita's
This sounds WAY BETTER....

Have one for ME....

lashes


BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 5,871
S
Member
OP Offline
Member
S
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 5,871
These days, one seems to be my limit, so I'll tip a glass for all my friends here. I wouldn't have made it outta this mess as quickly and safely without you all.


Me-BS-38
Married 1997; son, 8yo
Divorced April 2009
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 2,390
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 2,390
Great news SL. I'm very happy to see how well you have recovered yourself.

I was in Bmore recently for a trade show. It seemed like a fun place, although I didn't get too far beyond the convention center. The crab cakes were great though.



BS - me 56
XWH - 57

12/25/06 - Dday - WH promised NC. Plan A in effect. Thought we were in recovery.

6-3-07 - Dday#2 Found out NC never took place and A never ended. Found MB NC promised again, but WH would not write NC letter.

9/07 - Dday #3. Still lying and sneaking around. Plan B implemented
WH wants nothing to do with me

Divorced as of 12/09 after 36 years
Page 74 of 95 1 2 72 73 74 75 76 94 95

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
1 members (BuckeyeGrad), 166 guests, and 111 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
BuckeyeGrad, A12345bc, light124, DORA SMITH, Itstiffanyluv2u
71,769 Registered Users
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics133,562
Posts2,322,996
Members71,769
Most Online3,185
Jan 27th, 2020
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 1995-2019, Marriage Builders®. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5