Hey LG!

I don't know how 'noteable' my post was. Sad perhaps. Pathetic, for sure, at least in what the Ho had to say.

I'd say overall, it's just typical OW and wayward thinking

Lexxy, I'm glad someone else (besides me) sees that I was trying to let her stew in her own nastiness. I just felt like if I gave her a big FU, it would make it even easier for her to add to her list of justifications. I would not give her the pleasure. I was most certainly NOT going to give her the pleasure of thinking that a mere phone call or the sound of her voice was going to send me over the edge. She's NOT that powerful.


I imagined a really good Plan FU for Drac after the Ho's call. It was a good one, too!

Then, you know what? I didn't feel like I have that in me right now. After getting through yesterday, I just really didn't have that level of anger.

Don't get me wrong. Drac is the reason this evil vile person entered my life in the first place. Yes, it is his fault. For that alone he deserves a huge FU.

But, when I finally unleash a Plan FU,,,,and trust me it will happen someday, it's going to be focused on HIM and HIS actions. I won't be listening to him Blame Shift the way the Ho tried. It won't be about the Ho. It will be about him and only him. That's the type of FU he deserves.

Again, for me, it's about the Personal Power. If I allow myself to give in to that kind of reaction to her call, her voice, and her , then I am giving away my Personal Power. I am not going to make that mistake again. Whether it's letting her know that it bothered me or going off on Drac because of it, it would be the same.

Trust me, I have no doubt that he will know about the call,,,eventually. When it does happen, I want him to have to stop and wonder why I never said a word to him about it.

Just my way of dealing with it for now. I reserve the right to change my mind at any given moment!! ha!

Atta girl!!!

You are so right. Drac deserves his own FU someday. And it should be all about him and his choices.

And her? I am glad you didn't give her what she wanted. She needs to go earn it. She needs to stew in what she is, learn from it and change her ways. You are so exactly right that "sorry, but..." doesn't cut it. She needs to face what she did, own it, fix it, and then SINCERELY apologize for HER actions and HER choices. Not blame Drac. And not play victim of Drac. YUCK.

proof read it for me - would ya please?

it's hard to get the red quotes in the right places

Wow! How did I miss all this?

Bugs, who cares if he does not like to do business with emails? It's not his call. STOP talking to him.

Get a balloon, write his name on it, go outside and let it go. Let it go.


And by the way, great job with the Ho. She wanted freedom from her Marley-like heavy chains of guilt and you would not play.

Bugs,

YOu did well. You kept your cool better than MOST people would considering the circumstances.......

I do know that it still hurts though....Prayers with you girl....and DON'T let this ruin YOUR holiday.....

not2fun

or, stomp the [censored] out of it

Well yeah, the Mossberg with a skeet choke when it gets about 30 yards out would be good.

Bugs,

Good job. Hopefully she got the message.

Brings to mind my call with the OW. Remember, the OW in my case lives 1000 miles away. I actually called her because I wanted to find out what the h3ll was going on. I really had a hard time putting much blame on her though. WH told her he was D'd. She said she began to suspect not, and started snooping to try to find out for sure. She started asking me all kinds of questions and it was apparent that she was lied to just as much as I was. If it's true that she got another BF, I'm sure she finally wised up and realized that WH is one big liar. She told me her 2nd H cheated on her with her best friend, and she apologized to me because she said she knew how it felt.

Drac and my WH sound like a good match for friendship. We should hook them up....

Hey thanks everyone for stopping by and for all of the kind words.

Wish I were skilled with firearms to use on that Drac balloon! Alas, I'll just settle for stomping the [censored] out of it! ha!

Seriously, I have done really well for a while not caring that Drac doesn't like email. I've stuck with it until yesterday. I think that the restraint I used with the Ho call weakened my powers,,,,,,,,,,I gave in to the accusation he threw at me, "You make it impossible to try to be nice". I just couldn't let that go.

I know, I know,,,, who cares what he thinks? I think that what got me was the fact that he was refusing to see that it wasn't ME causing issues - it was HIS interpretation of it all. I know, I know no point in trying to educate him.

I should have also stopped to think he did that jab on purpose. Remember, it's been about a month since I've saw him at DSS's last football game. Shame on me for allowing him to get a fix.

Pep - I'll take a look at that post for the red quotes,,,Thanks!

Obviously, I'm not really 'working' this afternoon. I just finished cleaning up around here and waiting for my 'mechanic' to bring back my car. V took my car and left me his truck last night as he insisted on rotating the tires before winter. Apparently he is also changing the oil and took it to the car wash for a full inside & out cleaning! I don't think anyone has ever done something like that for me before. Kinda nice.

My response, "Well, that's okay, I'm not looking to MAKE things any way for you one way or the other. I'm just here to relay info about the kids..."

Difference is, I'm THERE. I'm done and seemingly, so is the Z. it's been smooth sailing since he left. I suppose if I still had even a teensy desire to recover, those types of statments would be difficult. *I* would still make them though, using the old mentality of 'fake it 'til you make it'.

If you are truly not interested in anything LESS than recovery, you will find it easier to cut DRAC off when he says insane [censored] like that

Oh no, he aint hooked!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=s2_wdMmEupQ&feature=related

I'm not sure which impressed me more,,,,,,,,,,

The fact that you found a video about Missouri Prairie Chickens

OR

The talk on the video about the males' "Colorful Sacks"!!

Hi Bugs,


I am with you....the call was all about HER and her needs...and how YOU could make her feel better...

...even though it looks likes it may have taken a lot out of you, Bugs, you can be proud for letting her know that she's not off the hook for her part!

I don't think it matters if Drac prefers to talk to you... if YOU are more comfortable with email, he doesn't get a vote. It sounds like you still 'care' Bugs, and you don't need to deal with any improvised 'comments' from him.

:happythanksgiving:

WONDERFUL, MY BUGSY!!

Ah, Mimi! I was so thrilled to see you back! Welcome & thanks for stopping by.

You know, don't you, that I was thinking of you when I posted about keeping control of my Personal Power?!! You helped me so much in remembering about my personal power some time ago & your encouragement helped me take it back. Thank you!

Luna, thanks for the support! I frankly don't care what Drac prefers for communication. I just know that I wasn't going to sit idly by letting him twist things around yet again. It was a moment and it has passed.

He came & picked up Ladybugs at my sisters early in the afternoon. She got to spend a little time w/my family but did not share a complete meal with us,,,she was ok with it. My family did a great job (as always) making sure she felt ok with it all. He apparently shipped both kids off to spend the night elsewhere last night,,,,,,,,,,just could not keep from his personal life long enough to spend 4 nights in a row taking care of his kids?!! UGH!

I will own up to wondering a bit about Drac on Thanksgiving. I ended up having to drive V's truck to my sister's house. V found a bad sensor on my car & would not let me drive it until it was fixed,,,and a part had to be ordered. I am curious,,,just a bit, if Drac noticed my car wasn't there but V's truck was. If he noticed, I did wonder what he might have thought. I know,,,useless waste of brain power but ya'll know I'm going to tell you the truth here even if it is silly useless thoughts!

So, it was a good holiday. Not perfect as I was without the kids but still I am quite Thankful for all of the Blessings I continue to receive. I spent Thurs. evening with V. He came over after hunting, still in his hunting clothes. It was a good thing, as we had ourselves a little adventure with my sisters.

My sister lives in the country. On his way to dinner, my brother spotted a young racoon in the ditch on her road. He stopped,,and was close enough to reach out and pet it. It was not afraid - did not appear to be 'wild' - and someone had given it a can of cat food. We were of the impression that perhaps someone had it as a pet and then dumped it because it was getting bigger.

Being raised as 'country girls & boy' we have had quite a lot of
experience with animals, including racoons. So,,,,,,,,,,when we took Grandma home later the raccoon was still there. It was there when we returned,,,,,,,,,,,,,,so we decided we had to implement a rescue mission. None of us could stand the thought of it getting hit by a car, starving to death, or getting eaten by a coyote.

Bugs holding the pet carrier, walking through the corn field/ditch in her Goddess wear, including Coach shoes,,,,,, sisters watching & baiting the poor thing into the carrier,,,,,laughing, joking, waiting for it to turn into an episode of "When Animals Attack" but finally getting it in to the carrier with a small bit of assistance from us. We have made arrangements for a local wildlife rescue/release sanctuary to take it. It was quite the adventure!!

A bit of shopping yesterday. A funeral home visitation with the family last night. One of my mom's long time friends passed away. Then home for a quiet evening.

Tonight is "Game Night" tournament at my sister's. 12 teams of 2 compete in various games,,,pool/darts/ping pong/washers,,,,I did it last year and we had such a GREAT time. I'm really looking forward to it and am taking V with me.

Hope everyone had a great holiday. I'm out to the yard before the rain/snow moves in later today. I'm going to clean up the last of the leaves, mow the front, and try to get some Christmas decorations up. Just checked the weather and it looks like I'd better get moving!!

Thanks for the visual

Pep,

You know I'm always happy to share the shananigans and adventures!! Glad to be a source of a smile when I can!


Saturday game night was a lot of fun. Wii Bowling/darts/ping pong/pool/etc. I am terrible at almost of the games, but had a good time. V ended up having a bit much to0 drink - - seems my sister mixed up some concoction that pretty much knocked him out. We put him in the spare room & carried on with the evening. He was terribly embarassed yesterday. No one else really gave it a second thought, other than to say, "well, that happens". I wasn't upset.

We did absolutely nothing all day yesterday. I watched football & napped off and on until Ladybugs came home. She didn't have much to say about her weekend & I don't ask any questions. I know she was tired and has a bit of a cough. I'm hoping she does not get sick.

I did get all of my lights up on Saturday and am 'almost' happy with how they look. I didn't notice that the 2 new sets of net lights that I bought are LED, so when I turned them on, they do not match the others. That just won't do & I'm going to have to replace them so that they all match. Ladybugs really likes them though! Made me feel good that it was the first thing she mentioned when she came in the door last night. She then commented, "We don't have a Christmas tree. Daddy has the one we used to use". She'd forgotten that I bought a new one last year. They put the tree up yesterday at Drac's but did not have time to decorate it. We'll be doing that at my house this weekend.

I enjoyed the holiday. I'm enjoying V's company, but I'm while things are good, I'm just not at the same place as he is and it's creating a bit of a strain on my end. I don't want to push away someone who I really think is terrific,,,,,,,,,,but at the same time I'm just not feeling the same feelings at this point in time as he is. So, I'm just praying about it for now and waiting for some guidance. I'm trying not to let the Drac feelings cloud or mess up my thinking about V - but am having a bit of a difficult time doing it completely. I'm just not sure how to describe how I'm feeling,,,,,,,,,,,

Well, for now I need to put that all away and concentrate on getting some work done.

Hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving & have a great week!!

Bugs;

I've been in the spot you're in with V. Ugh.

Here is what I learned. When you KNOW you are not in the right place to be in a relationship, keep LOTS of distance between you and any dates.

Because it really sucks to meet the right person at the wrong time. And it sucks to meet even just a nice person who you don't want to hurt.

You've been working on becoming a fabulous goddess. Who isn't going to fall for you? You need to use those powers carefully!

My motto for 2003 was "make new friends." And thats what I did. I didn't let anyone that I dated think they were anything more than a friend. And that meant keeping a lot of physical boundries in addition to emotional ones.

When you only date one person it makes it easy for them to make a lot of assumptions. And then you suddenly find yourself with a boyfriend!

I'm sure you would recommend to your friends that they not settle down with the first guy that comes along after a break-up of the magnitude of yours and Dracs. Right?

Hey, Bugsy

I'm still getting caught up (and avoiding writing my self-evaluation), but I read the above somewhere and thought I would ask you how your session with Steve went.

You've been waiting for that, right? More later.

And, having caught up with the rest of your thread, you're probably over all but the faint memories of the massive trigger from last week, so I hesitate to bring it up at all, but

I'm really proud of how you handled it. What class. A true Goddess.

If V is smart, he will give you all the time you need.

Bugs