Of course you are going to cry and at times whine! You are going through one of the most difficult situations anyone ever goes through and I think most people don't even know how hard it is!
You are doing great with your plan and taking care of your kids. Hang in there and keep posting so we know how you are!
BF439

We are having a IM huddle to discuss.

No worries for you! You are correct, HIS CHOICE. :crosseyedcrazy:

Right. It is his choice. I wouldn't even worry about it. Go and enjoy the game. Good luck to your son's team.

Please respond to latest email question.

Thx

pep

Well DS10's team lost. Season is over. They played very well, the boys were so sad. I was so happy to be there and I got to relax since H was not there. I really enjoyed the game.

Big thanks to my Trio IM's today for hammering out some financial stuff. I so appreciate all your doing. Its hard enough to pass the information, especially financial but knowing you guys have it SO covered sure helps.

I guess H is going to visit the kids tomorrow at 4PM. He strangely sent a text to DD17 saying, "Can I visit tomorrow?" HUH? Did he just say Can I?????

I guess that's good since he hasn't seen or talked to them in almost 4 days. I mean I think as sad as it is to say, its more for his guilt than really to be there for the kids. He'll visit so he doesn't feel like crap for a few weeks and circle back again.

Gosh sometimes I feel kinda bad because it seems like I am a downer and I'm really not. I hate the way this whole situation has made me think and feel. Feel like I lost a part of me that is hopeful and sees potential. Ya know my H's has always commented about my happy go lucky nature, it annoys him. He can't stand that I have the ability to take lemons and make lemonade. He even told DD17 one time, you mom is just so positive and happy go lucky and that's just not me! He likes to call it naive. I like that part of me. I miss it.

The visit will give me time to relax alone which isn't too much since DS10 is home schooled now. Nothing like a nice Sunday afternoon nap.

Exactly 2 weeks of Plan B today, and yes I hate it, though strangely I think I am supposed to like this.LOL J/K I do have some days where its not as bad, I think maybe I am PMS'ing or something maybe that's why I've been a lil emotional the last 2 days.

Hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving....back tomorrow for any updates.

Oh, sorry they lost, but glad you were there.

Plan B gets some getting used to. It was very difficult for me at first, and I DIDN'T feel great. But as I made a great life for myself, I got more perspective. Plus, the ups and downs on the rollercoaster leveled off and that was a huge relief.

You are doing very well. Don't give up.

You're doing great. Just do your best to protect your LB against intrusions.

Nuttin new to update. H didn't end up coming to visit since there was too much traffic and he left kinda late and it would have been dark when he got here so he called to tell DD17 that he had to turn back.

He did offer DD17 that he could hang out at the house and DD17 said uh yeah no that's not going to happen LOL. So I guess it's rescheduled for Tuesday or Wednesday depending on his schedule. Kids don't even seem like they really want to visit. They seem like its kinda a chore for them. I do have a schedule for H to visit but I am a little flexible since his schedule is never the same and all over los angeles and orange counties. Should I be more rigid about that? I mean at this point were lucky if he comes 1 time in an entire week so i don't really push it.

Anyways went out for a while this after noon and wandered some book stores. I love book stores. I don't know why I love wandering and looking at different books. It's really relaxing. Picked up a few books for kids under the tree.

Little hard when your out Christmas shopping and you see couples and families. Isn't it funny how all of a sudden you are acutely aware that your single but not in a good way? LOL Hit me a lot too when I was at DS10's games. Both DD17 and I noticed how many families were together watching the games all the time. Sometimes it makes me feel like a loser. I know probably a retarded mindset to have but I guess, at least I am hoping, that all these thoughts are normal.

But overall I feel okay, no crying today, this is good. 19 year anniversary is in 10 days. So far about 6-8 girls are going out for sushi with me on that day. I am looking forward to it. Its a bunch of fun girls so I know even if I feel a lil down they'll cheer me right up just being with em.

DD17 just baked an apple pie so I'm gonna go eat big piece! Don't you remember we never count calories on the weekends! LOL...

Eat a piece for me please


Just catching up on ya

Well, T, they might look like happy families but who knows what's really going on with them? And that could be an "Uncle Bob" over there who went to the game with his sister because her husband is a WS or otherwise persona non grata.

But you know this already. Just wanted to drop in and say it, though. I've had those thoughts you have as well. It doesn't bother me anymore, though.

Charlotte

Hey, T2L, hope you are doing well in PB-world! It sure is quiet here!
BF439

Howdy! Yes it's very quiet here! i can say again that I HATE PLAN B, shoot, I HATE PLAN A,B, OW and did I mention H?!?!?

Okay I'll stop.

Nothing new to report, quiet for the most part. He called and talked to the kids last night and I believe he's calling the kids tonight.

So my computer is on the fritz and I'm at a friends house using the computer. I may have to post in a day or two. But believe me I will let ya'll know. i am hoping to get it fixed by the end of the week.

IM's: I can use my email via my cell phone, so I'll contact you that way for important info if needed.

I'm off to bake sugar cookies with the kids.....

I take it T2L doesn't like cabrito?

ROTFLMB(ootay)O!


We are Switzerland.

We let Neak hold the chocolate (in her tummy).

Ello peeps! Popped into a friends house again to use a computer, man how did we live before PC's and cell phones?!?!? I am hoping to have my computer situation remedied by the weekend.

Nuttin new. H talked to kids last night, I guess he is going to try to visit tomorrow if his schedule will allow it. DD17 has been kinda frustrated with him lately. H could tell, he said whats wrong and she said nothing(i was eves dropping or monitoring the conversation LOL but I do monitor DS10's conversations as i don't trust the nutt) and DD17 said nothing. he knew it was because financially things are tight and he said don't worry it'll get better.

Plan B is hard to get used to, feels like everything is going backwards or nothing is happening at all, at least in reference to having my H come home. I know it's meant for me too but {{{sigh}}} I guess I'll feel better after a few more weeks at least thats what I've been told....

I'm up to day 2 and WH is still going through the defiant you can't tell me what to do stage. I remember your WH going through the same so that gives me hope that things will settle down.

My IM has been getting confronted by WH and WH's brother and me too. WH is leaving me alone but getting his family to call me.

Why do they have to make things so hard. You would actually think they would be happy to get the space that they craved so much before.

Anyway, keep your chin up. It sounds like you are staying really strong. You need to keep focussed on you! What are you doing for yourself today?

Stay strong. It will get better. One way or the other. You're doing the right thing. For you and your kids. And your H.

Ya know its funny because it's like I know that I am doing the right thing for me and the kids but it never dawns on me that this is the right thing for him too.

I used to tell him all the time, your a great man(i guess even then i sensed he had admiration needs). I would say this to him for years and more and more he became a great man. i hate to see what he has turned into. I mean if I wasn't going through this I wouldn't believe it myself. Even though he has moodiness and slight anger issues he was a man of great integrity. I mean our Pastor would have never appointed him and I associate Pastors if he wasn't. He was so faithful to church, always did more than most men and this was for 15 years.

I just can't believe what he turned into. Its shocking. And how mean he got.

IDK if he's gonna make it or not. I know either way I will. But it is such a shame, he really was a good man the last few years. Each year longer he walked with God, he was like a fine wine he got better.

This church that we are now in, is our sister church. We actually moved to this city as soon as he got this great job(the one he met OW at). We moved here to be near our church. This church was going to be handed to my H and i in about a year or two. H was in bible school and was going to have his bachelors in theology this month, but of course that didn't happen. Life is funny isn't it. The kids and I have continued to go to church 2 times a weeks through this all, and have been supported by everyone there. My DD17 has started singing with me again on the worship team. Its great!

Day 17 of plan B almost over...gonna watch Narnia 2 with kiddies tonight.

{{{hugs to all}}}

T2L,

Can I ask?

Did you and dwh have "the good stuff"?

I feel that you did. That your dwh got lost, but you know the "real" him is under there.

I'd say if you EVER had "the good stuff" that there is mucho, mucho, grande ginormous chance.

I KNEW the Wookie was better than he was behaving.

I knew it because we DID have the "good stuff" before he lost his footing for so long.

If you need me, I am here.

- Kimmy

The good stuff. Hmmm......

WE had "the good stuff."

Didn't do a dang bit o' good, though.

Every case is different, however.

For instance, at least T got to play the SF card. MY WH started making excuses to get out of it BEFORE the two of them even had sex!

I even "jokingly" told him when we were lying in bed one time, "What's the matter, you don't want to cheat on your girlfriend?"

He laughed really funny (weird funny).

Turns out that was exactly it.

That was before MB.

Now? I still thank God that I found MB, or MB found me. I am a LOT better off. No matter what happens, T will be, too.

Charlotte