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Originally Posted by Carp54
Mail sent at 10:10 cst

Excellent!


Standing in His Presence

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Married April 1993...
4 kids (19(B), 17(G), 14(B), 4(B))
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"If Jesus is your co-pilot...you need to change seats!"

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Originally Posted by Carp54
She stood in our kitchen and told me she would make me out to be a child molester if I fought her. During trips to MC we discussed this with the MC and my W said she did not mean it and she was scared and hurt.

sick

Please be sure that your MC has these comments documented in your file should your WW be vindictive enough to do this.


BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011




Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.

We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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Originally Posted by black_raven
Originally Posted by Carp54
She stood in our kitchen and told me she would make me out to be a child molester if I fought her. During trips to MC we discussed this with the MC and my W said she did not mean it and she was scared and hurt.

sick

Please be sure that your MC has these comments documented in your file should your WW be vindictive enough to do this.

That, plus his kids are old enough to speak to a judge and give him/her the truth.

My son is 7 and if my wife tried to coerce him into lying to a judge about being molested, he'd laugh in her face.


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Ah, finally the orders came through.

Dam the torpedoes and full speed ahead.

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2 hours since emails and not a peep!!!


Me 35
W 31
D12
D9
Exposure day 12/29/08 (Ws 32nd bday)
I wanted to fix marriage June 1st
A found out June 11th
W came home August 18th till the end
BS papers from her Oct 2nd
Real papers from me Oct 17th
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Just talked to one of OMs family!!! His cousins wife....they have no clue....veryc supportive of me and my family. She said his family is very respectful and good and stuff. I relayed a specific story very calmly to give myself extra credibility.

No news on work front...


Me 35
W 31
D12
D9
Exposure day 12/29/08 (Ws 32nd bday)
I wanted to fix marriage June 1st
A found out June 11th
W came home August 18th till the end
BS papers from her Oct 2nd
Real papers from me Oct 17th
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That's great! She's worried about reputations, which is why she tried to convince you that her family is 'good' and all. That might help, get them to pressure him not to ruin their family name.

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Originally Posted by black_raven
Please be sure that your MC has these comments documented in your file should your WW be vindictive enough to do this.
This is very good, prudent advice.

Glad to hear you went ahead with exposure to the workplace.

Expect alot of venom from the WS when she finds out. Be prepared for it and don't lose your cool.


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Thx everyone!! I assured here I was not out for revenge just trying to save my family. I even admitted I am not the "perfect" husband...she agreed saying what man is!! Someone put up my list of "anti spew" lines!!! I have a feeling tonite will be long!!


Me 35
W 31
D12
D9
Exposure day 12/29/08 (Ws 32nd bday)
I wanted to fix marriage June 1st
A found out June 11th
W came home August 18th till the end
BS papers from her Oct 2nd
Real papers from me Oct 17th
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Wife stopped into work today. She was sent home. My attorney contacted me in regards to the email. She said it was not a smart move. I forwarded her a copy.

My Ws attorney talked to my attorney in regards to the mail and the OMs GF incident.

Last edited by Carp54; 12/29/08 03:12 PM.

Me 35
W 31
D12
D9
Exposure day 12/29/08 (Ws 32nd bday)
I wanted to fix marriage June 1st
A found out June 11th
W came home August 18th till the end
BS papers from her Oct 2nd
Real papers from me Oct 17th
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 4,712
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Carp,

Your attorney will say that. Mine did too! Because if you were out to hurt your wife, then it would be bad for you.

But you have a world renowned marriage counselor (Dr. Harley) whose experience in this sort of thing is what you were counting on. You can point to his precepts and advice for the reason for your actions...not some hair brained scheme where you are angry.

Maybe it will help your attorney if you forward some of that information to her, so she understands what you are upto.


Standing in His Presence

FBS (me) (48)
FWW (41)
Married April 1993...
4 kids (19(B), 17(G), 14(B), 4(B))
Blessed by God more than I deserve
"If Jesus is your co-pilot...you need to change seats!"

Link: The Roles of Husbands and Wives
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Mortarman

My attorney talked to Ws attorney. My attorney had mentioned if my wife got fired I could have to pay maintenance etc.

I told my attorney exactly why I did it.

Last edited by Carp54; 12/29/08 03:27 PM.

Me 35
W 31
D12
D9
Exposure day 12/29/08 (Ws 32nd bday)
I wanted to fix marriage June 1st
A found out June 11th
W came home August 18th till the end
BS papers from her Oct 2nd
Real papers from me Oct 17th
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 4,712
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Originally Posted by Carp54
Mortarman

My attorney talked to Ws attorney. My attorney had mentioned if my wife got fired I could have to pay maintenance etc.

I told my attorney exactly why I did it.

I am not liking this attorney of yours. If your wife gets fired, it is because of HER actions, not your information. if your attorney cant work with that, you may need to look for a different one.


Standing in His Presence

FBS (me) (48)
FWW (41)
Married April 1993...
4 kids (19(B), 17(G), 14(B), 4(B))
Blessed by God more than I deserve
"If Jesus is your co-pilot...you need to change seats!"

Link: The Roles of Husbands and Wives
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,880
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I think you'll find that even if it costs you financially, it'll be worth it in the long run.

It'll be worth having something to look back on and say, "I wasn't a total doormat".


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Originally Posted by Mortarman
Originally Posted by Carp54
Mortarman

My attorney talked to Ws attorney. My attorney had mentioned if my wife got fired I could have to pay maintenance etc.

I told my attorney exactly why I did it.

I am not liking this attorney of yours. If your wife gets fired, it is because of HER actions, not your information. if your attorney cant work with that, you may need to look for a different one.

I agree, but what would an attorney know about accountability for one's own actions?


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This is all easy for you guys to sit around and chat about


Me 35
W 31
D12
D9
Exposure day 12/29/08 (Ws 32nd bday)
I wanted to fix marriage June 1st
A found out June 11th
W came home August 18th till the end
BS papers from her Oct 2nd
Real papers from me Oct 17th
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Originally Posted by Carp54
This is all easy for you guys to sit around and chat about

Carp,

It isnt easy! I have been where you are at. I had an attorney that didnt want me to do anything. Make it easy on him. But I didnt.

Shoot, for those that know my sitch, there was an "incident" at my house the first time she moved out, where I ended up at the local jail in handcuffs. My attorney said "that isnt gonna help your position."

I got custody 6 months later and her paying me child support.

Attorneys want things easy for them. I made mine work! I did a lot of the researching and brought him reams of paper and evidence. I made sure he had everything he needed. If I left it up to him, half of that wouldnt have been done.

Your attorney is just one member of your team now. Dr. Harley is another. You will be fine on the legal front, as long as you stay in line with the advice of the doctor.

But, if your attorney cannot grasp that...then as I said, I might be doing a little lawyer hunting!


Standing in His Presence

FBS (me) (48)
FWW (41)
Married April 1993...
4 kids (19(B), 17(G), 14(B), 4(B))
Blessed by God more than I deserve
"If Jesus is your co-pilot...you need to change seats!"

Link: The Roles of Husbands and Wives
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,880
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Originally Posted by Carp54
This is all easy for you guys to sit around and chat about

No, it's not.

I walked in on my wife with another man, naked on my couch.

My brain now seems to work at about 75% capacity, likely due to undiagnosed PTSD. Luckily, I have enough experience at my job that I'm able to cover it. I have more anger inside than I can exercise or deep-breathe out of me.

Do you think this is a joke to me? I don't know of any members that are here for fun, other than the occasional troll.


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I wasn't putting anyone elses sitch down.

A incident like MortarMans makes me feel better!!


Me 35
W 31
D12
D9
Exposure day 12/29/08 (Ws 32nd bday)
I wanted to fix marriage June 1st
A found out June 11th
W came home August 18th till the end
BS papers from her Oct 2nd
Real papers from me Oct 17th
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 430
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You guys got an advice for when I get home?? I just called there and talked to my kids.

I was thinking if my W started to flip I would calmly tell her.....let us both go to your work....tell the truth....ask for their help....and go from there...


Me 35
W 31
D12
D9
Exposure day 12/29/08 (Ws 32nd bday)
I wanted to fix marriage June 1st
A found out June 11th
W came home August 18th till the end
BS papers from her Oct 2nd
Real papers from me Oct 17th
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