Carp,

I am interested in what she said when she flipped out. Why was she angry? What did she say?

I tried to see if I journaled the event....nope.

From what I remember

No judge will give a man 2 girls
The only thing I have to hurt her are the girls
She needs them
How could I take them from her

She was crying alot that day

I think she made a few more molesting comments.

I know I was very calm. She was very emotional. I made her BFF stand there the whole time.
The conv started behind the house....then ended...I had to go pick up D9 from a friends and I walked around the house to my car. She came running out the front door...with her BFF right behind her.

One more thing.

She had this idea I would not fight her at all!!

When she gave me her "blackmail" papers on oct 2 was the day she made the "I will make you out to be a child molester" comment.

Thru our marriage I was a "roll with the punches" kinda guy. Any crisis I dealt with and just moved on. She figured I would just do the same in this sitch.

She was the "overreacter"....

One year on Xmas day....2hrs before dinner....our kitchen sink backed up!! We had 17 people coming over. She was a bit frantic....I just rolled up my sleeves....fixed it....and carried on.

I hope this story makes SOME kinda sense!!??

It does.

If you look at my thread on my situation (I am still putting it together!), you will see how a WS reacts to actions by the BS.

It is illustrative that your wife thought you would just roll over. This is the first crack I have seen in her armor (and the same first crack my wife had). How so? Well, its her first instance when you are doing the opposite of what she believed. Now, she has to check her internal perceptions of you, and eventually the whole situation. You see, she is angry because she was wrong. Seeing your wrong is the biggest fan that can blow away fog. But remember, the blowing away of fog is painful!

Now, her reaction will be to knuckle down and fight harder. But in the back of her head, something has chanegd with you. Something isnt as she felt it is or should be. And that is a GOOD thing!

The more of these "surprises" you continue to string together, the more her situation she is currently in will deteriorate. All you have to do is keep doing what you are doing.

One note: please remember that you do NOT discuss custody, court, or anything else like that with her. Your attorney does custody and divorce...you do marriage! When she goes ballistic like that again, just say "I understand you are upset. All I am interested in is keeping our family together and happy...which is in the best interests of our kids, and us." And leave it at that.

But, all-in-all, this was a good sign.

This is only 1 example that I have shared with you guys. In my car I have a 6 page letter....talking about trust..love...the damage she has done...admitting the affair, STD, the pain it caused me and the kids...etc. This letter is from July!! When I was on the DB board I have a few other "breaks" as I call them....most of them before October.

I spent 2 weeks with her while her grandfather was passing over the summer.....the $ I had for my lawyer I spent taking care of her/our family. She even mentioned how that time was like "detox" for her.


Nights we would go out for dinner..just us

The endless cheerleading competitions WE spent hours at....chatting and acting "normal".

There are a few other events....I should spend some time copy/paste that stuff over here.

Carp...



Is her head spinning yet?

Excellent, most excellent job.

Keep up the good work.

The wind, it is a blowin your way.

Thx for the praise PM!!

As far as the head spinning......she is doing her own plan B rite now!!

She has no clue what is coming though......

Last night the girls had counseling and she took them. When I went to pick them up she was still there. She spent the hour with the girls and the C.....I know the C is NOT happy with my W....wish I was a fly on that wall!!

I am glad to see you being so proactive!!! It really does have your wife flabbergasted, which is a good thing. Let her not know what to expect from you.


YAY, Carp!!!

Thx Verve!!

I thought Mel was gonna make another "mental masturbation" comment...

I am trying to think of every possible thing that could go wrong....it's almost like paranoia!

Around the house I am happy, chipper, carp/dad.

Some intel......

WW talking to uncle today (not the jerk uncle but his brother).

I have been good for a couple weeks!! Meaning me...I haven't done anything crazy!! LOL.

She is looking at a house a couple blocks away....I don't know how she can afford it!!

She has 11weeks to wait....this ties in directly with the end of tax season...WW works at an accounting firm.

So....

WW has no $$ rite now....she has been hounding me for my W2......end of tax season means she can get her OT in cash.

Boy....is she gonna be mad this week!! I am throwing a wrench in her "plan" something fierce!!

ahhhhh, so she thinks she is going to SNATCH your tax return and use it to get a new pad?

LOL Make her wait as long as possible. If you get a refund make sure she doesn't forge your signature to cash the check. If she filed separately would she get a refund?

Between her OT $ and her half of tax return I guess she would have about $3000.

My guess? With work for her being busy she doesn't have TIME or $ rite now for the D....let alone a house!!

I have my W2.

I don't know if she could file seperately....we never have in 11 years.

Quote

WW works at an accounting firm.

I would advise getting a neutral tax accountant.

It's funny you say that! She asked me if I had a problem with one of the people she works with doing our taxes!!

I can't really see any cons to it....unless they lie about something. What would they lie about??
Too get a bigger refund?

Oh grasshopper, YOU file "married filing separately", claim the kids etc. and DO IT FIRST BEFORE SHE FILES!!! Like yesterday! :twobyfour:

It can be done and whomever files first sets precedent.

Precedent: an instance which may serve as a rule or example in the future

Your attorney/tax person can explain this to you.

Get 'er done! Watch for her head to spin even more down the road! Shhh!

On April 15th you can tell her you filed your taxes months ago.

You're kidding, right?

You can't be serious! Someone she spends every day with, with whom she's been spinning her version of how you've been ruining her life, sucking all her money, probably even cheating on her...who's gonna make sure she gets what she deserves?

I agree with Ragamuffin; do it first! This is NOT the time to be nice to her! You can be nice later, when she's no longer WW.

As ragamuffin said: file first, separate, claim kids.

Post haste, get your 2008 taxes done and efiled for good measure! Shhhh!!!



Ragamuffin interpretation:

These goofballs know there is more $'s for each to have 1/2 of if they jointly file (if she doesn't make away with his 1/2 too).

Less $'s for her if you get smart and file seperately AND FIRST!

There would be an uphill battle for HER as there is no legal order on tax filing, who claims who, etc., set by a judge at this point in time.