This is what is known as LBO in collective bargaining negotiations

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After the LBO, you hunker down, you do not lift up your head to see which way the wind blows. Unless you are on a nature walk in Santa Barbara

Aiy Aiy Captain! Hunker I will arrrrr!

H is running late to pick visit w/DS10., kinda odd, he's never late on his Sunday visit he won't be here to pick up DS10 til about 4 PM. I was trying to be gone when he got here but DD18 had to run out so now I have to wait til he gets here to do some errands.

Back later, but I'm sure all will go fine. Gonna do just what SB said, sweetly softly hand him the letter and then slowly close the door and tell them that this door could open again for him.

ditto

Hi Holyheart & T2L,

I wish you both success with your second PBL's but more importanty, like you mentioned HH, it enabled you to find your love. I wrote a letter to WH too and I was amazed at how far I had to dig to find the love, but it's there.

Hold fast and strong and weather the storm. There will be an end to it and ultimately you are on the journey God intended for you, only he knows the ending.

Peace & love,
2M2L

T2L, I really think in your particular case, this is the absolute right move.

I'm glad SB helped with the wording and the delivery. I have no doubt it WILL impact him, whether you see the fruit or not.

Hi T2L-

I enjoyed talking with you on V-day as well. How interesting that our DD's have the same first name.

I was at DD's new house today helping with some initial cleaning-tearing out carpets, moving old appliances and cleaning very dirty floors. They have about 3 weeks of work and then they will be able to move into their first home as homeowners!

Your WH has been on my heart today so I've been praying. Nothing really specific, but when the Holy Spirit "nudges" me, I

I hope you get your week-end away.

Morning Y'all well thought I would post the 2nd PBL "after" it was delivered. I will post how it got delivered in a bit. Here it is below....

Mr. T2L,
I'm writing to you again because I just needed to tell you again that our marriage can be saved. Seeing you just those few times at home last month and having you ask me to spend the night has been really hard on me. Last week when you hugged me so tightly, and said wow you look great and that its good to see me is so very hard as well. Everyday I try to remember the great man I know you to be - the man who made me feel like the most beautiful woman on earth, the man who made me feel so protected that no one could hurt me, the man who was full of integrity and honor, the man who was completely a family man who wanted the best for his kids and would do anything to stop his children's pain. I still believe in you. I want you to know that I have not lost my love for you despite the adultery, and that I can fully forgive you.

I know it's probably hard to understand, but I can't see you or talk to you because it is the only way I can protect my love for you until Sea Hag is gone. Not seeing you protects the love I have for you so that we have a 2nd chance - and I still believe that is possible.

During this time, I have made many changes. I have made new friends, and learned a lot about marriage, relationships, and how to recover our marriage after an affair. This CAN work. There are so many people who have recovered their marriages from this and are now very happy. I know it will take some hard work, but it excites me to know we can create something new. We can be the kind of husband and wife our kids will look up to and are proud of when it's time for them to get married.

You might wonder if I expect for you to resume where you left off with church. NO, I do not. As your wife, and in obedience to God, I will respect whatever decision you make concerning that, because our first and most important ministry is to each other and our family. I KNOW, and I hope you realize, that God has never stopped loving you and is willing to meet you where you are.

I have also stepped down from my responsibilities as worship leader because of the family pressure I have been under. I took the entire month of January off. Guess what, you were right, I did enjoy it. I will still attend church but not in any leadership capacity. And some of the time, I would love to just accept your invitation to stay in bed with you on a Sunday morning and snuggle.

I know that you want some things in your life to be different. I want you to know that I now see that you were feeling like you were in a rut with church. Yes, you did express that to me, and I apologize for not hearing your heart and for not understanding what you meant. I now see that you probably felt really locked in and that you probably felt like you didn't want to deal with the controversy, or have to answer or explain to anyone for the time that you needed away from church. We can talk more about this as we rebuild our marriage.

Come home and let's start over. There is a way home for you. All you have to do to start that path is just leave Sea Hag, never contact her again, and come home. Think of the possibilities......I love you, your wife, T2L

You are such a tease, T2L. Hurry up and post. The suspense is killing me!!

That 2nd PBL made my nose and eyes sting.
I think I'm allergic.

She teases us all the time, doesn't she.

That's not very considerate, T2L.

Awesome letter!

Ok sorry y'all. Had to update my IM's 1st and give em da low down.

I will give you guys the basics of what happened and reserve for general population LOL.

I came home after my shopping trip to Victoria's Secrets with the gift card the kids got me for Valentines Day and he was at house. The 2nd letter was given to him. We did talk and for me it felt necessary because during the Plan A i never spoke about anything because I was advised not to by y'all. Just work the Plan A no talks about OW, adultery, relationship etc so I never talked about anything.

Oddly enough I was able to convey to him everything on that 2nd PBL and almost debated on whether to give it to him or not. A lot of things were discussed in detail, but they were things relating to the2nd PLB...things like church etc. I think many things were cleared up. He did tell me that he has at least made 1 trip home at 3 AM only to stop and turn around. He says he thinks about coming home all the time but doesn't think we get along anymore.

I did humor him in this and tell him that okay let's be generous and say we didn't get along 50% of the time(that's pretty generous too...we rarely fought) then that means that 50% of the time we got along. I say right now it is probably hard for you to see the good times but I can still see them. I still think it can work but I refuse to try while there is another one involved.

He says well we haven't been together for 10 months and were supposed to just jump into it. I say yes, I would rather jump all in and see if it works and if it doesn't then fine we gave our best(i said that know that HNHN will guide the way but he doesn't know that). He says isn't that kinda of ridiculous? I say well do you find my request of wanting to be the apple of your eye and the only one for you ridiculous? He says no. I say I am not willing to share. I say that I miss how you would light up when I entered the room and how you would come home each day and pick me up in the kitchen and say hey liddle lady and he kinda chuckles.

He says do i come home only for the kids I say I dont know Mr. T2L. He says well i have become more involved with the kids during the visits. I see now how i neglected them the last 2 years, it makes me feel really guilty. I say well if you want to be a better father then being a family is the best way, he says I know it would. I say its very hard for me when I see the kids hurting and DS10 crying. I say what can I tell him when he asks why you are doing this or why you won't come home.

The church stuff did get brought up and I conveyed to him what was on that 2nd PBL and that i understood and that it has taken all this for me to understand but now I know.

He asked what I got from Victoria's Secrets and I said I'm sorry that is reserved information for my Husband I cannot tell you that. He then says well you look really good. I say I know............then he finally says well aren't you going to say anything to me and I say oh I'm sorry those comments are reserved for my Husband and he again chuckles. He says well why do you still love me and I say I do not know and I laugh and he laughs and I say what did I always tell you when you were here? I said Mr. T2L I loved you because you loved me and nothing more.

I then tell him I finally feel like I have made amends and explained for all that I have wanted to and ask him if there is anything else he would like answered because I feel like I am done explaining. He says no. I say ok MR. T2L I do not want to see you anymore. No more fixing anything no more anything. I cannot see you until you decide if the family is what you want and if you should be so lucky that I am willing at that time. I say I am definitely wearing thin he say what do you mean i say I am emotionally running thin and don't have much in me left. I say so I can't see you anymore. He says who will fix your car or house I say I will or I will hire someone. no more i cannot see you anymore. He says are you trying to forget me and I say kinda and your problem is.....? He says well then you won't need me and I say yup what's your point?

I then say so if everything is answered and You have no questions I will go get your son so you may have your visit.

Ok I will tell you this much and I again have no remorse for this. He reaches out to me and asks for a hug. I say what for? And he says I want to say goodbye so I look at him and say ok. I give him a hug and I can feel his heart towards me. I then say Mr. T2L why aren't you coming home(at this point I am weeping) He says IDK. I say well if you are going to hug me this tight then Sea Hag should know your hugging me too. He says nothing. So I pull back and say I am going to get your son.

I get DS10 and hand him the pink duplicate card and he says what's this I say nothing really, he says is this another one(PBL#1) I say Mr. T2L you know me I am not a mean person its really ok. He says when did you do this and I say earlier today. He takes it and leaves with DS10.

That's the scoop.....

Oh T2L, I read your whole post holding my breath. Mr. T is soooooo close.

I believe.

Wow - I'm guessing that you must feel a lot lighter after that download of information, verbally and written to Mr T2L. It was a beautiful letter and I hope that Mr T2L digs deep and makes it all the way home next time...

He's a very lucky man to have you as a wife.

I hope you were wearing perfume when you hugged him, send him to OW with your scent on him!

I'm praying for Mr. T2L's deliverance and for the entire T2L family.

Ditto