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Joined: Jan 2009
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Please update us as soon as you can.
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My attorney has told me I don't need to bring any additional info to court today. I started to print stuff off yesterday....probably a waste of time. We hired a contractor many years ago, who turned out to be a sham. He had over 100 half-finished jobs around the city while he drove around in a Corvette. He finally got caught when he did the same thing to an assistant district attorney. The lawyer prosecuting him had the case files of over 100 families who had been scammed by him. The lawyer presented ONE of those cases, and rested! I'm serious! He thought that just saying there were over 100 families was good enough to prove his point. The jury almost let the jerk go! They luckily had a mistrial, and had to retry it. This time, the lawyer presented ALL of the evidence, even though it took several days to get through it all. The jerk ended up going to prison. Take every bit of evidence you have. And fight your lawyer to present it.
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Anxiously waiting to hear how you fared.....
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Anxiously waiting to hear how you fared..... Spent about ten minutes in front of the judge. WW was not there. Back and forth the attorneys go. Exposure letters were brought up but never addressed. Judge has us on the "express train"....mediation on the 17th....next court appearance on the 25th. Who's got any advice? My attorney said this is where my journal/emails/activities with the kids will be important.
Me 35 W 31 D12 D9 Exposure day 12/29/08 (Ws 32nd bday) I wanted to fix marriage June 1st A found out June 11th W came home August 18th till the end BS papers from her Oct 2nd Real papers from me Oct 17th
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Exposure letters were brought up but never addressed. Carp, what ABOUT the exposure letters were brought up? Is there something wrong with them?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Exposure letters were brought up but never addressed. Carp, what ABOUT the exposure letters were brought up? Is there something wrong with them? WWs attorney tried to say they were "harassing".
Me 35 W 31 D12 D9 Exposure day 12/29/08 (Ws 32nd bday) I wanted to fix marriage June 1st A found out June 11th W came home August 18th till the end BS papers from her Oct 2nd Real papers from me Oct 17th
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Exposure letters were brought up but never addressed. Carp, what ABOUT the exposure letters were brought up? Is there something wrong with them? WWs attorney tried to say they were "harassing". Wow, and all this time we thought ADULTERY was "harrassing."
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Don't fret about that. You were telling people who might help that your wife was cheating.
That's not harassment.
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Don't fret about that. You were telling people who might help that your wife was cheating.
That's not harassment. I am not sweatin it. All my WW has are some letters, a call to the police.....and not much else!
Me 35 W 31 D12 D9 Exposure day 12/29/08 (Ws 32nd bday) I wanted to fix marriage June 1st A found out June 11th W came home August 18th till the end BS papers from her Oct 2nd Real papers from me Oct 17th
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Update
It seems that by all my research...... meditation is a win for me!
As far as I know WW does not have a place to live so all questions regarding "who spends what time where" don't apply.
WW emailed me yesterday in regards to having the girls counseler come to our court date on the 25th to speak on the girls behalf. To be an "impartial" voice.
My kids counseler works for my counseler. Since my insurance pays....they all "work" for me. I think that kids counseler has to have permission from me to exchange any info with my wife. Unless there is abuse I think it's all confidential.
Any input is appreciated.
Me 35 W 31 D12 D9 Exposure day 12/29/08 (Ws 32nd bday) I wanted to fix marriage June 1st A found out June 11th W came home August 18th till the end BS papers from her Oct 2nd Real papers from me Oct 17th
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What do you think the counselor would say?
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What do you think the counselor would say? When I first met with her she told me I needed to "get things moving" and the current situation was not healthy for my kids etc. The last time I met with her she told me my kids would hate me if I made their mom leave. Moms and daughters have a special bond and if I want to do what's best for my kids I should let them live with her. I shouldn't disrupt their "routine"! I think I posted this a few pages back.
Me 35 W 31 D12 D9 Exposure day 12/29/08 (Ws 32nd bday) I wanted to fix marriage June 1st A found out June 11th W came home August 18th till the end BS papers from her Oct 2nd Real papers from me Oct 17th
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WW emailed me yesterday in regards to having the girls counseler come to our court date on the 25th to speak on the girls behalf. To be an "impartial" voice. What is the purpose of this court date? Is it the trial? You really need to get THIS. Your WW is your adversary in these proceedings. If she can convince her lawyer to call this counselor as a witness, then let her. However, I would not AGREE to anything with your WW at this point. If you already know that counselor's position as regards to custody, I would be finding ANOTHER counselor who agrees with your position, that the girls should live with you. Stop communicating with your WW about ANYTHING to do with the legal case. Just tell her to let the A's handle it. You still have to go to mediation and THAT's where you can negotiate with her, through your attorneys and the mediator. Don't give in at mediation and don't settle if you don't want to. Save your strategy for trial and whatever you do don't share that strategy with WW.
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage ********************* “In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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That counselor does NOT sound "impartial" to me.
tl
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Not sure counselor's make the best witnesses, they hear only a partial part of the story and it's not their job to investigate. If I were you I would ask the counselor not be called so as to allow the children to continue to disclose to this person without the threat their sessions will be used in court. Sounds like it is important for the kids to have someone they can talk to...
If your court system allows it, see if the judge will appoint a CASA or Guardian Ad Litem, which will speak on behalf of the children. It is THEIR job to talk to ALL parties involved and present their opinion...they work for the judge, and speak on behalf of the children only.
In our area they are called in the case of children taken through the state, but have recently been called in for messy custody cases, where a judge is hearing differing sides.
Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance!
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If your court system allows it, see if the judge will appoint a CASA or Guardian Ad Litem, which will speak on behalf of the children. It is THEIR job to talk to ALL parties involved and present their opinion...they work for the judge, and speak on behalf of the children only. Excellent suggestion!
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage ********************* “In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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Carp,
I would immediately withdraw my support for this counselor and find another one. Immediately!
The GAL will talk to everyone involved, including counselors.
I would point out the mom bias to the GAL and your concern over that.
The counselor can't be called as a witness unless the girls wave their right of confidentiality. Technically, the counselor can't even acknowledge that she sees your daughters without a release form.
Object to her as a witness on the ground of confidentiality for the girls.
Beware that there are a lot of mom-biased counselors out there. You have to handle the GAL very carefully. They don't want to see a bitter and angry man who rants about his ex.
Get books on Father's Rights. They are well written and coach you on how to deal with the system which is biased towards mom, but will be fair to a well prepared man.
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If your court system allows it, see if the judge will appoint a CASA or Guardian Ad Litem, which will speak on behalf of the children. It is THEIR job to talk to ALL parties involved and present their opinion...they work for the judge, and speak on behalf of the children only. Excellent suggestion! Already being investigated on my part. I never agree to anything WW sends me in regards to legal stuff. I believe mediation with my WW is gonna be a disaster....she probably won't agree to anything. I agree with the privacy comments. Found out WW and kids took today off.
Me 35 W 31 D12 D9 Exposure day 12/29/08 (Ws 32nd bday) I wanted to fix marriage June 1st A found out June 11th W came home August 18th till the end BS papers from her Oct 2nd Real papers from me Oct 17th
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The purpose of the court date on the 25th is to decide temp custody.
Since temp custody was contested the judge ordered us to mediation first.
Me 35 W 31 D12 D9 Exposure day 12/29/08 (Ws 32nd bday) I wanted to fix marriage June 1st A found out June 11th W came home August 18th till the end BS papers from her Oct 2nd Real papers from me Oct 17th
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The last time I met with her she told me my kids would hate me if I made their mom leave. Moms and daughters have a special bond and if I want to do what's best for my kids I should let them live with her. I shouldn't disrupt their "routine"! Moms and Ds have a special bond so you must be chopped liver and therefore expandable. But don't worry...the counselor is looking out for you Carp. She doesn't want your Ds to hate you so she's really helping you out here. :RollieEyes: Object. WW must know what counselor is going to say. She's not going to leave herself open to get blasted in court by her own 'witness.'
BW - me exWH - serial cheater 2 awesome kids Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot. --------Eleanor Roosevelt
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