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I was most pained hearing her description of how she can't understand why the OW didn't respect what she, EE, had. That OW felt it okay to try to step in and take what EE had built with her husband -- how she couldn't understand how one woman could to that to another. That's what hit me the hardest. Because she is so right.

OMG, I have said these EXACT SAME WORDS.

It appalls me that an OW could do this as well, to a "sister"...is there NO loyalty to other women in the world???

It shocks me that a MAN could drive a woman to hurt another woman in this way. I am an extremely loyal person and I just could not fathom doing this to another woman. And certainly not over a MAN.

And I also can't understand why some women think that another woman's husband is fair game. The OW's desperation there is shocking, and they don't understand that others see it clear as day.

And then to not be able to let go for YEARS...they might as well stamp DESPERATE WOMAN HERE on their foreheads!

Which is often the final nail in the coffin in the FWH's repulsion at the OW. Desperation is not flattering and usually pushes men even further away. It sounds like Edward's OW is doing a good job of that, which is a GOOD thing!


Me,BW - 42; FWH-46
4 kids
D-Day #s1 and 2~May 2006
D-Day #3~Feb.27, 2007 (we'd been in a FR)
Plan B~ March 3 ~ April 6, 2007

In Recovery and things are improving every day. MB rocks. smile
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She deliberately set out to seduce him. Here's how she did it:

Link to segment describing how OW set up for the kill.


Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
*********************
In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists. Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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LOL It looks like the members of that other site are coming out to support RH.
rotflmao
http://popwatch.ew.com/popwatch/2009/05/edwards-oprah-e.html?cid=152549845#comment-152549845


BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011




Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.

We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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I read thru the blog - none of them got the reason I would have done nuclear exposure in a book like Elizabeth Edwards did.

The reason in her place that I would do nuclear exposure is to kill the affair so thoroughly as to the effect that OW would never be around my children - to so thoroughly cut off John Edwards from marrying this woman in the event of my death - that their relationship would have no legitimacy FOREVER if he would hope to have a shred of public office service - as an appointee or otherwise. He'll never get elected to so much as volunteer custodian by most Americans now.

See - EE has a terminal disease that will cut her life short - hopefully she'll get to live long enough to see her children grown, but chances are she won't. So nuclear exposure was the only way to keep such an unstable user-climber-ho-OW out of her children's lives for the next 10 years, until the youngest passes high school graduation.


Cafe Plan B link http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2182650&page=1

The ? that made recovery possible: "Which lovebuster do I do the most that hurts the worst"?

The statement that signaled my personal recovery and the turning point in our marriage recovery: "I don't need to be married that badly!"

If you're interested in saving your relationship, you'll work on it when it's convenient. If you're committed, you'll accept no excuses.
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Not sure even nuclear exposure would do it, KA. Look at Charles and Camilla. I wouldn't have thought they'd have the cheek to get together when the world knew all about their affair, and how much pain it had caused Diana. But they had not an ounce of shame.


"Integrity is telling myself the truth. And honesty is telling the truth to other people." - Spencer Johnson
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Compared to Reille, who didn't know "Prince" Edwards before the marriage, the children, the campaigns, etc, Camilla was dignified. Reille is a noboday wanting to be significant so she's a power-hungry fame-chasing Ho while Camilla is just a Ho who was a childhood sl*t, so the family didn't consider her worthy to be the princess.

While I hate Charles, he's much more of a political puppet and prostituted his own heart for the retention of the crown, while John Edwards frittered away his character and ethics believing that somehow he was immune from the same pressures Charles had coming into power. I despise Camilla for her disrespect of a marriage and Diana. Now that I think about it though, there are similarities in malignancy between the two women.

Similar but different.

But Reille is very much a nobody who figures this child is her ticket to significance.

Last edited by KaylaAndy; 05/09/09 11:14 AM.

Cafe Plan B link http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2182650&page=1

The ? that made recovery possible: "Which lovebuster do I do the most that hurts the worst"?

The statement that signaled my personal recovery and the turning point in our marriage recovery: "I don't need to be married that badly!"

If you're interested in saving your relationship, you'll work on it when it's convenient. If you're committed, you'll accept no excuses.
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I was thinking the same last night KA. EE could have set the wheels in motion to watch the APs throw each other under the bus. JE and RH would have a very hard time being a public couple after an all out nasty battle ensues. The children will see what a desperate nut she is and have disgust for their father if he continued a relationship with this woman after their mother's death. Now that RH is on the rampage JE is in for a rude awakening. laugh EE just has to stand back and let them pummel each other. grin

Although JE's reputation is in the toilet, I'm not sure he'd want to go down in history as a complete loser by getting back together with the skank. Time will tell.


BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011




Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.

We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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I'm an old timer MB'er...from a few yrs back, recovered but did so alone and divorced five years ago january..but doing AWESOME!!!

My opinion on this is simple. I believe this is EE's attempt at a nuclear exposure. Where the entire darn world knows of the ema and if she dies (hope and pray she makes it somehow b/c she's a fighter and one with dignity..and I'm not of that political party either)hen this pond scum, filth flarn filth, every four letter word I could muster but won't type here kinda of OW that Rielle Hunter is, will NEVER be the stepmom of their children. And that if that indeed happened (the Camilla scenario), then the world would be on a Reille hatin' ride like never imagined..and john too.

I pray she endures and somehow she succeedes in her recovery.

Nobody knows how it is until you've walked in our shoes. Nobody does. And what we choose to do when we have that d day or crisis is OURS...not the wh or ww's decision but OURS. JE should be damn happy and glad she stayed with his breck boy a@s.


God's got a great sense of humor!
XH: WS extroidinaire..remarried ow 1 day after divorce (1/1/04); been cheating on ow/w since day 1 and they are in process of divorcing
Me: thirtysomething, baseball mom of a 10 y.o. DS, happy, moved on. Should be engaged to wonderful guy any day now. Currently reading HNHN together. Building a foundation on truth, love, and family \:\)
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>The reason in her place that I would do nuclear exposure is to kill the affair so thoroughly as to the effect that OW would never be around my children - to so thoroughly cut off John Edwards from marrying this woman in the event of my death

EXACTLY!


I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?

O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.

My Story

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I read the book and in the book EE talks about how she had talked with JE about who to marry after her death. She contrasts those women with this woman, a woman she call obsequious and pathetic. Yes, I think that she wrote the book to cut of JE from marrying RH.

My husband told me that his OW was very similar to me. We even went to the same college. And, if I left him, then he would consider getting back with her.

Yes, we may be similar in some things, but I would never have an affair, especially as the mother of young children. Part of the reason is I would never want to put the wife through the experience of being betrayed.

Whatever my husband valued in me that is similar to the OW misses the mark by far of the type of person I am. I think EE may be going through just plain wondering how she could have been so off the mark in her understanding of her marriage and her husband.

Good for her for writing a book that is so brutally honest. What is most sad to me about the book is that EE knew of the impact of betrayal on a woman and on a marriage because as a teenager she read her mother's journals and her mother had suspected she had been betrayed. She explained all this to JE when they were dating. He knew what it meant to her that he be faithful.

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Good for her for writing a book that is so brutally honest. What is most sad to me about the book is that EE knew of the impact of betrayal on a woman and on a marriage because as a teenager she read her mother's journals and her mother had suspected she had been betrayed. She explained all this to JE when they were dating. He knew what it meant to her that he be faithful.


rant2 I HATE (using this word on purpose) adultery! Reading this just made me so angry. WSs are so self-centered and callous. rant2


Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
*********************
In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists. Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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Originally Posted By: MarriedForever
Quote:
I was most pained hearing her description of how she can't understand why the OW didn't respect what she, EE, had. That OW felt it okay to try to step in and take what EE had built with her husband -- how she couldn't understand how one woman could to that to another. That's what hit me the hardest. Because she is so right.

OMG, I have said these EXACT SAME WORDS.

It appalls me that an OW could do this as well, to a "sister"...is there NO loyalty to other women in the world???

It shocks me that a MAN could drive a woman to hurt another woman in this way. I am an extremely loyal person and I just could not fathom doing this to another woman. And certainly not over a MAN.

And I also can't understand why some women think that another woman's husband is fair game. The OW's desperation there is shocking, and they don't understand that others see it clear as day.

And then to not be able to let go for YEARS...they might as well stamp DESPERATE WOMAN HERE on their foreheads!

Which is often the final nail in the coffin in the FWH's repulsion at the OW. Desperation is not flattering and usually pushes men even further away. It sounds like Edward's OW is doing a good job of that, which is a GOOD thing!



There is no "sisterhood". Anyone who's ever worked in an office with a few women in it knows that.


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>There is no "sisterhood".

Yes there is, Krazy.

Fortunatly we can spot the sisters - they are the ones that retain their HUMANITY.


I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?

O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.

My Story

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I find this so interesting.

I only saw clips of the interview, but I have been turning over in my mind what was motivating her to write this book and go so public when she kept his secret when she first found out.

I came to the same conclusion. She was doing whatever she could to keep that woman out of the lives of her children.

I also kept silent about my H's affair, except to his parents, siblings and a few trusted friends. My own story is long and complicated, and not entirely MB, but that is an aside.

My primary motivation was to protect my children, and myself, from having to deal with the OW the rest of our lives. As much as I wanted to recover my marriage, I was unwilling to take any chance this very special woman wink would be come a part of our everyday life. Relocation and staying married accomplished my goal. Mrs. Edwards, due to her cancer, needed extra insurance.

If we did ever divorce, I could "deal" with another wife. I didn't want to deal with the woman, who called me sounding very drunk, pleading that if I let him go, she would sit in the back of the church at my childrens' weddings. I remember a surge of resolve that she would not ONLY be in the same church, she would not be in the same STATE when my children were married.

My heart goes out to Elizabeth.

Last edited by FaithHopeLove; 05/13/09 04:04 PM.
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Originally Posted By: Dealan-de
>There is no "sisterhood".

Yes there is, Krazy.

Fortunatly we can spot the sisters - they are the ones that retain their HUMANITY.


Very well put! I could not agree more!

I naturally gravitate towards women who "retain their humanity". It's usually quite obvious the ones who don't and would stab another woman in the back, no problem.

I think this gets worse as women have gotten so involved in the workplace and "compete" for men's attention. It's nauseating, really, and I would NEVER survive in that sort of environment...I've been told (most recently by a MBer friend whom we had dinner with ) that I am one of the most "down to earth people (he) has ever met", and that is the sort of people I am drawn to...women not interested in the unspoken "sisterhood" would not fall into this category.

Again, I am intensely loyal...it's a quality that I admire and one that I abide by.


Me,BW - 42; FWH-46
4 kids
D-Day #s1 and 2~May 2006
D-Day #3~Feb.27, 2007 (we'd been in a FR)
Plan B~ March 3 ~ April 6, 2007

In Recovery and things are improving every day. MB rocks. smile
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In the book, Elizabeth wrote something about how the cancer may turn out to have been more important than "this woman passing through our lives."

It's struck me since reading those words that terminal cancer requiring ongong treatment is a not inconsequential. She was thinking beyond her own life when she wrote those words -- the family that she helped to build, the one that she will leave behind -- what is the impact on this family of her husband's affair vs. her death?

She has two young children. I witnessed the slow death of a mother who died last year and whose children are now in 7th and 5th grades. She also had breast cancer that was treated when her 7th grader was in kindergarten and then she was diagnosed with the cancer spreading to her bones when he was in 3rd grade. She lasted 3 years, to less than 2 weeks after her son's 6th grade graduation. The cancer was a very significant part of their lives. She was so bent on beating it, but she finally accepted death less than 24 hours before she died.

Elizabeth does not have much time. One or ten years -- she's not sure. She's in her late 50s and longevity runs in her family. She expected to live perhaps to 100.

Forty years lost from a life compared with a husband's affair -- and she poses the question of what is more important.

Cherished

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MF-
i agree with you - and you stated it perfectly. i am also drawn to people like me - who can empathize with others - therefore not doing things to others that i wouldnt want done to me.
all of my friends have these qualities.

but my FHW is not like that - and has never been - so i wonder ... why was i drawn to him???

women who have affairs with their friend's husbands- ( like i experienced) are a different kind of human being.

i used to believe in the basic "goodness" of people - but after experiencing betrayal from my H and my friends - i am having difficulty with this concept.

so - i DO agree with EE that there should be some kind of sisterhood between women- but it doesnt exist in all people.

sf


BS- me 56; FWH-58
3 kids, DS 23,23 DD 14; Married: 34 years
D-Days: 7/11/07;/7/13/07;7/31/07
Unbelievably recovering- but in an up and down way.
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Originally Posted By: sunflower55
MF-
i agree with you - and you stated it perfectly. i am also drawn to people like me - who can empathize with others - therefore not doing things to others that i wouldnt want done to me.
all of my friends have these qualities.

but my FHW is not like that - and has never been - so i wonder ... why was i drawn to him???

women who have affairs with their friend's husbands- ( like i experienced) are a different kind of human being.

i used to believe in the basic "goodness" of people - but after experiencing betrayal from my H and my friends - i am having difficulty with this concept.

so - i DO agree with EE that there should be some kind of sisterhood between women- but it doesnt exist in all people.

sf


You're right...it doesn't exist in all people, and that's not something I ever really considered before this either. I thought people were basically "good" and no one would hurt another like this.

I absolutely believe in the "sisterhood" of women...my sister and my good friends fall into this category ~ they held me up and cried with me when I found out about FWH's affair. Some of OW's "friends" even called and emailed me, and cried with me, and looked out for me in those early days of devastation. THESE are my "sisters".

[P.S. Sunflower, I love your nickname here...hehehehehe]


Last edited by MarriedForever; 05/14/09 06:58 AM.

Me,BW - 42; FWH-46
4 kids
D-Day #s1 and 2~May 2006
D-Day #3~Feb.27, 2007 (we'd been in a FR)
Plan B~ March 3 ~ April 6, 2007

In Recovery and things are improving every day. MB rocks. smile
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>I absolutely believe in the "sisterhood" of women...

Me too.

I was SHOCKED - beyond shocked - when I learned that not only did VD know about me, but that she was a former betrayed wife herself.

I still get whalloped upside the cabaza when I mull on THAT little tidbit of info too long.

How could someone who'd felt what we've felt DO THAT do someone else?


I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?

O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.

My Story

Recovered!
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MF-
i had the exact same experience. my close friends literally and emotionally held me up and were there for me whenever i needed them during july , 2007 - and my 3 d-days.

they were there for me to vent, to cry, to support me - to shun the OW.

i seriously dont know how i would have gotten through those days without my "sisters". these are the kind of women who would never consider having an affair with married man- especially the husband of a friend. (CAN SOMEONE OUT THERE EXPLAIN HOW WOMEN DO THIS??? THIS IS LOWER LIFE FORM THAN SOMEONE WHO DOESNT KNOW THE BS??) sorry - i didnt want to tj.

anyway - the suffering quotient goes up when all these added factors come into play - length of affair, friend of BS, and all the ugly details,

sf

PS- what nickname do you mean????


BS- me 56; FWH-58
3 kids, DS 23,23 DD 14; Married: 34 years
D-Days: 7/11/07;/7/13/07;7/31/07
Unbelievably recovering- but in an up and down way.
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