Because you are in Italy (aren�t you?)and I thought that may have a influence in your life.

You mean it might have influence on the fact that I have a hard time letting go because catholics are against divorce? Or maybe Italians (which are not really...there are so many D people here and so many people not married living together)

atena, all EYE-talians are Catholics! duh!

No, actually what I meant was that for catholics marriage is a sacrament involving God and therefore it might be harder to let go.

The Church does not allow remarriage. It does accept divorce, if it is the only solution.

well I guess many are catholics, the majority. I was raised catholic but I am not one now.

As far as I know the roman catholic church does not recognize divorce. You marriage can be nul if the sacra rota decides so, but that is rare and it is a desion based on abuse or other heavy issues. Once you are divorced you should not be allowed the sacraments.

Last I checked, if you are divorced you can receive the sacraments. If you remarry you can�t.

That makes it one marriage till death do us part for Catholics!

yep.
But I guess as far as I am concerned I do not need a religion to tell me that my integrity as a person is important and that it will dictate the way my life will unfold.
I know that if I were the WS I would feel tremendous guilt for the rest of my life and that guilt would shape my future, but H grew up without morals and his family has none. So for him it is ok to do what he does and his logic is pretty much: I was unhappy in my M, my W hurt me in many ways (I did not, but he thinks I did by complaining, nagging etc..)so now I deserve to be happy with someone else to make up for 20 years of unhapiness. Period. He feels no remorse.
blessing

Ted Kennedy was a Catholic. He managed to get a marriage annulment after how many years...?

well it�s a moot point now because Atena is not catholic.

yes, it is usually the well to do who can influence the sacra rota enough to get their marriage cancelled. Pricess Caroline of monaco got her first marriage annulled by the catholic church too. Connection and $$$$

Look at the good side of this: if you are not religious you don�t have to worry about any of that and you can trust and depend on yourself to get over your husband!

Most people do get over their ex spouses and remarry. look forward to that, because I don�t think you would want to purposefully keep concentrating on your WH. Don�t do that to yourself!

Atena, I just wanted to pop in and tell you hello. You're doing great! I'm just past 6 mths of PB and things are so much easier! I have rough patches but for the most part I feel as though a cancerous tumor has been removed! I still mourn the loss of my M and family but I've come to terms with the fact that it was mostly a fantasy anyway. My H was never M material. I really wanted a real M with him but because he had his own secret life going on he didn't feel the need to make the effort. So, I can hold my head high knowing I did the best I could do and so can you atena! As hurt as we've been and as victimized as we may feel, we can pick up and move on with integrity. Our WHs can't do that and what an albatross they carry! We may never see remorse but I don't doubt that this will affect them the rest of their lives in a very negative way. Best of luck to you!

thank you all for your kind words. It is a process but knowing me it will be a very long one. I am sure.
I am so monogamus that even in the face of all the stuff H did to me I still love him and would take him back.
blessing

I'm with you on that one girl! But as time goes on I'm stronger in my resolve that I'd never take him back like he is now. We can hope and pray they will change but it's up to them to do it or want to. You were M a lot longer then me so I know it's harder.
{{{{atena}}}}

I really did everything to save this M and I was looking forward to growing old with my H. We have so much in common and we like the same things.
But he liked the company of younger women as well...
blessing

I'm so sorry....it's a huge loss and very painful.
{{{atena}}}

Atena, have you read Lunamare�s thread? She has 2, one before and one after she started plan B. She's come a long way and is doing great.

Another idea: Lunamare posted her plan B, I have preferred to write a journal for myself. We�ve both been in plan B since the same date and are both in the same situation now, after 5 years.

Time does heal.

I finally got a notice from my IM that H will be meeting the real estate agent tonight right at our appartment and will get the ball rolling for selling it.
I am happy in a way because that place was the A's nest and is in the building where OW lives, she is just downstairs. So no way could I ever live in that place again.
On the other hand it shows me how over my H is with the M and how little hope, if any there is to save it.
I am in tears now and my heart broke again for the 1,0000th time. I love my H and it is sad to see it all go go go.
blessing