Oh yea. Well, that is a blast of flatulence. Breach of a computer system - over the emails??????? Or something else?

Harassment. Why kind? That is a hair ball that is hard to prove.

Mr. Wondering, where are you.

Larry

Breech of a computer system? Because you sent messages to his Facebook friends?

He is an absolute idiot!

If this gets to court, he is gonna look like a complete fool...make that MORON...when you point out that his friends list is readily available to anyone who looks at his profile, and that when you check the profiles of his "friends", there is a little link right underneath their picture that says "Send (person's name) a message".

Oh, and harassment? Well, as far as I can figure out, he can only charge you with harassing him DIRECTLY. He can't stop you from talking to, emailing, or communicating with anyone else, except maybe his minor child if he has one.

Honestly, I think this guy is so stupid that you could majorly mess with his head!

GN:

I have seen exactly one case in the passage of time where the BS got totally screwed. Mr. Wondering (A lawyer who frequently posts here) knows all about it. There may have been more. A big time IT guy basically stole a college professor's wife from him.

In the course of events, the Prof. got out lawyered. I told him by private email that his lawyer was a flake but he ran with him anyway. I think others said so as well, so it wasn't just me. Oh, the Prof was a decent guy and yet he got hammered in the divorce.

Other than that, I have seen a dozen or more dumb things like the OM has just done that are simple harassment deals themselves. None of them went anywhere. The court system and child services sees wives and husbands harass their mates or soon to be ex-mates all, repeat all, the time. So you go through the motions and that is the end of it.

Since the charges were filed, this means that OM now comes to swear that you did bad things to him. In other words, the District Attorney nor the Police have picked you up on charges. If he is trying to go criminal, then the DA has to decide to prosecute. Unless Ronnie Earle has changed his way of doing business or OM has a picture of Earle and a friendly goat, there is no way it will go to court.

Your defense is always the truth. A serial predator has seduced my wife away from her family. He has borrowed money from her. He has introduced her to people as a trust fund baby. You are simply attempting to protect your family and warn others of OM predatory history. While the current situation between OM and WW may not be doctor/patient, there are ethics involved in that OM is the teacher and WW is the student.

Please go back and read that looooooong diatribe I posted for you on the tactics of a predator. It will help you understand just what a sleeze your WW has become involved with.

To protect their future conquests, pond scum like OM must be aggressive in attempting to cover their tracks as best they can and if exposed to light, attempt to turn off said light.

You are in a position to shut the guy down. And he deserves shutting down. This means that you have to put on your big boy pants and both concentrate on doing your job at work while at the same time engage in a battle with OM that you did not chose, your WW made that selection. And all the while try to keep your kids stable.

It will not be easy my friend. It never is to do the right thing.

Larry

Who filed these charges? The OM or your WW?

GN

I read the Texas Law, which is short and sweet, Facebook terms and MySpace terms. I don't see it.

Harassment is beyond my ability to understand. That said, the truth is always a defense.

I just don't see anything here but harassment by OM.

Larry

Yes, and the Harley's can help you fine tune a Plan B direct for your situation. This is great. From what I've seen on the boards they often work with the couple separately at first anyway, at least with a reluctant spouse. But she wants to have control of the time and place and will probably make it VERY difficult for counseling to happen so she can say at the meeting..."But I'm trying..."

Busy day....after a night of no sleep...calls with multiple attorneys and bail bondsmen...and a "forced" negotiation by FiL...

In short, I learned that anyone can make a statement and press charges on anyone else at any time. It is then assigned to an investigator who will decide if there is enough evidence to proceed. Until there is a decision and a warrant outlining the actual charges, there is little that can be done on my side other than stand ready to act quickly.

Different attorneys think one of the charges is worse than the other, just depends on the context. Because of the use of email, there is potential for federal charges, which adds a whole new ball of wax to the mix. The issue of the Breach of Computer Security is my use of the association email list and the national tournament promoter list.

It's still unclear if it's going to be criminal or civil or both...at least now I know how to check if a warrant has been issued for me online...interesting facts that I would more than happy to not have learned...

So, as I'm wrapping up with the bail bondsman, getting them prepared for anything that occurs...FiL calls. Last night, after receiving a call from the county constable and speaking with my attorney, I told FiL that I was willing for WW to come into the house and do a 20-30 minute walkthru and make a list of belongings, but only if FiL (and only him) was present. I was still not going to allow her to just pull a moving truck up and start hauling things away.

I went by the house, unlocked it the door prior to their arrival and then went to a neighborhood park to take a nap and wait. About 15 minutes later, I get a call from FiL basically asking if I was coming home, because they were really there to talk. I told him that I would be by to pick up DD14 and take her to her tumbling class soon, but I was not going to talk to WW and she knows the reason and the requirements for that to change. In the end, he negotiated with both of us - WW would call on Monday and schedule an appointment with the Harleys; I would look for a local marriage counselor that takes our insurance.

WW is continuing her misinformation campaign - "I'm so mad at OM right now." Despite the fact that she's still talking to him on the phone and printing out his boarding passes for him. Facts that I passed on to FiL.

GAH! FiL just called and said that she took some of her clothes and one thing that might bother me - all of the kids' birth certificates and passports. He said that he wasn't comfortable with her doing it, but didn't feel comfortable with stopping her either. Sure enough, I just got home to find the safe empty of all of the important documents except my birth certificate, my passport and our marriage license.

Be careful, she may be planning to simply run away with them. Demand them back.

Sure they can. I can file against you and I don't even know you! It's all about the investigation. The investigation will be in your favor. Do not lose sleep over this (I know, easy for me to say.) He is running scared and is trying to be above-board..."Oh, wa wa mean BS is being mean to me!"

Hang in there, gnirlos, you are doing great!

GN;

Just some items that might be useful:

1. Both email lists are "probably" owned by their respective associations, not OM, unless he is the owner of one or both associations. Technically, an email address is owned by the addressee and thus ownership is somewhat ambiguous in this situation. Some people who post email lists or accumulate same are loose in their chain of ownership by NOT getting permission to use the email address. Some aren't - it just depends.

2. If Facebook, those items exposed to public use are technically in the public domain.

3. If MySpace, the situation is not as clear as the language used in their terms of service is ambiguous.

4. In either case, the items posted by a user are the property of the user unless the user is posting something that belongs to someone else, such as an email list belonging to an association. Posting something that belongs to someone else is the responsibility of the poster. Your Attorneys will probably review the terms of service and if they don't, remind them. Posting an email address in an unrestricted location to be accessed by anyone without a password is an interesting legal point of interest.

5. The investigator will likely interview you. He will then report back to the DA with his recommendation. Stick to the truth is your best deal. You have nothing to hide. You suspected that OM was a user/abuser who was using his position to seduce various women, including your wife and in your grief, wanted to let others know (warn is not a word to use) so they could protect their family from the predator. The return emails vindicate your position. Investigators HATE getting these kinds of assignments.

Back when I used to own a small ISP, I had more than one occasion to cooperate with either local or federal types on email issues and computer security. I am very familiar with the Texas Statue.

6. If federal decides to investigate, it will likely be by phone unless one of the guys is bored that day and wants to do a little field trip that really means going to a restaurant in your area. This is not a serious crime, if crime at all, and it is a real hair ball considering who might really own the lists.

From my experience, your lawyers will try to make your situation appear worse than it is to enhance both their fees and your opinion of them when it all blows over, which is my opinion on outcomes. I am not a lawyer nor do I play one on TV.

Reference the papers:

What was taken besides the kid's stuff? If other things, demand (at the least) copies from FIL and discuss that she took more than she claimed she would take. FIL sounds as if he is playing both sides but I suspect he is not a happy camper with daughter.

Larry

Agreed. Never underestimate an active WW!

You should be able to obtain certified, legally usable copies of all of the documents you listed.

Waste of money. Waste of time. Likely to be damaging to your marriage. And your reputation, as likely noone can take your insurance without giving you a diagnosis code of some sort.

Also stalls from the real solution: Dr. Harley's plan. Your wife can justify herself that you guys received "counseling" and there was nothing else that could be done.

If you must go through with this, stipulate that the counselor must be selected through Dr. Harley's recommendations, here: http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi7100_counselor.html . Essentially, you will be hiring someone to help motivate you to complete Dr. Harley's plan, navigate the emotional minefields of being married, and supplement your thinking when it is lacking with creative solutions from a broad and vast past experience. If you actually find such a person, they should become immediately engaged in reading everything put out by Dr. Harley, especially his latest book, Effective Marital Counseling.

You will have to weigh for yourself the relative value of trying to keep FIL on your side and relative chance for success and risk of failure, but I want to point out that he has already shown a willingness once to break agreements, modifying your agreement afterward to enforce his own idea of how to solve your marriage and prevent you from following your plan. I would be sorely tempted to tell him that I feel extremely disrespected that he attempts to force his judgment over mine and discouraged that he is attempting to force me to NOT follow a proven plan for restoring my marriage.

Run away with the documents? They are all easily replaced.

Run away with the children, possibly fleeing the country? I'd talk to my lawyer immediately about that.

Let me correct myself, then.

I'm always open to improving how I write.

As markos suggested, talk to a lawyer about the possibility that WW will flee the country with the kids.

Great post larry

GN, write all these points out and show them to your lawyer.

Documents: She says she will return them today after making copies. She says she took them on the advice of her attorney due to my recent behavior, so that I wouldn't skip the country with the kids.

Mailing Lists: OM owns one as he is the director/owner of the association. He is member of the second organization's list. The third was not an official mailing list, just a collection of email addresses.

Investigation: The detective to whom OM turned in his statement is a long-time friend of WW (from the time WW was born). WW would had to have facilitated this because OM would not have been able to contact this particular detective on his own. Since I'm not sure how these things work, I do not know if this friend would end up doing the investigating. WW does not know that I know about the investigation. During the conversation about the documents she took, WW told me to call this friend. "She is concerned about you and me. She is a friend to both and has very good advice. She said she would be happy to talk to you. She knows everything." I told WW that talking to the friend would not be in my best interest and that the friend does not know everything, she only knows one side (thinking to self: well, really two sides, since this is a triangle). I don't know everything and that's part of the reason that we're in the situation that we're in.

Hi gn! It might be a good idea to call the friend and make sure she knows the full facts about the affair. What do you think?

HOWEVER, you are not speaking to your wife while in Plan B, are you? That door needs to stay air tight. Does your FIL know that the OM is filing charges against you and that your WW is helping?