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I'll have to find out if my uncle still holds his Realtor's license.

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I don't know what the sudden urgency is in wanting a divorce. He said he talked to an attorney and they wanted a $1500 retainer fee and he thinks this is all that is going to cost him for the divorce. I don't know the cost because I haven't checked into it.

You are right, he's under the assumption that this will be an amicable divorce and that you'll just sign off on whatever he puts in front of your nose. Beware the caring telephone calls from him, he NEEDS you to be soft right now. Whatever you do, don't let him talk you into using the same attorney.

Go find a bulldog attorney who will fight for you. WH needs to find out the REAL cost of a divorce. Ask for the moon! What state are you in? Some states allow you to name the OW in your divorce. You could file a cross-claim and name her as a co-defendant/respondent once you find out who she is. As soon as the divorce is filed your attorney can serve discovery to discover the identity of the OW.

If you can get the license plate on her car you may be able to figure out who she is too.


Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
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In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists. Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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So you know the right apartments - that's progress! And don't overstress about the D blowup. Next time you'll be prepared and handle it differently, but you haven't ruined your hard work, either. That was just a speed bump, no more.

Aha, OW has gotten out the thumbscrews. That's actually a good thing. Now is the time to avoid any and all lovebusters like the plague. Be his lighthouse.

He dropped the D-bomb without warning, and you survived. He'll bring it up again, and may even file, eventually. None of that makes any difference to your long-term odds, which are still quite good. Brace yourself for it, and ride right over the top of it.

Personally, I wouldn't take the attorney thing beyond one consultation, until/unless papers are actually filed. (ROFL about the $1500 cost thingy; boy is he in for a surprise.) If he does file, stall it at every turn. Sweetly say, "I do marriage, not divorce." That's your theme song.

Keep snooping with urgency. Channel your extra efforts into that, and finish the good work you've started. It's about time to wrap up this whole plan A thingy, but you're not there quite yet.

I'm not going to be around much this week, but I'll check in when I can. Dittos on the great job for your test scores!


A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb



Neak's Story
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Got the scores from my last test and got a 184 out of 200 on the essay tests. The median average is 164-186. At least I passed both tests that cost me over $200 to take. Yeah!!!

OK, don't have much time tonight because I need to get everything ready for my university supervisor to observe and grade me tomorrow along with being video taped and graded on that.

Been having decent conversations with WH the last couple of days since the whole D thing. The attorney stated that he didn't think that I needed to sit down with him just yet, but said if I wanted to, I could give him information (ss #'s, DOB's, etc.) so he can at least have a file started on the off chance that I need him. He did tell me that I could refuse to allow the kids to go over to the apartment/love shack/whatever you want to call it because of (as the attorney referred to OW) "the black horse". He told me how difficult I could make it for them and that I needed to do what was in the best interest of my children (at least that is how I refer to them while WH is in this A with OW).

OK...got to get back to lesson planning. Going to work on alliteration, adverbs, lyrical poetry, and start introducing narrative poetry. Fun, fun, fun!!! MrRollieEyes Had to send a student to the office today because he kept falling asleep in class and this is trying to protect him and help his home situation, but still really hard to have to do. He really is a good kid, just bad home life. sigh

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If papers do proceed at any point, your response needs to include a polite demand to know full information on the "black horse" (LOL), even though you will have already learned pretty much everything you need to know.

Great job on both tests, wow! And kudos on your handling of the dilemma of your sleepyhead.

I'm stoked that the lawyer said you could keep the kids away from the shack. Awesome!!!!

Remaining on your to-do list:

1. OW's info...boy am I on pins and needles to hear that you cracked this one open. May your mom be successful on her first try.
2. Prepare your PBL.
3. Make addendum to letter, spelling out finances and visitation.
4. Select IM's.
5. Put finishing touches on Plan A, and choose a PB-day.
6. KERPOW! Go dark.

Did I forget anything? I think that's all the main stuff you need to do in the next few weeks. Hang in there, chickadee. You're almost there.



A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb



Neak's Story
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Yes... Start drafting your Plan B letter now and post it to let the some of us fine tune it... Most if not ALL of us wrote pretty bad ones filled with LBs and educating our first shot at it... so post and refine it now so it will be locked and loaded....
GOoD Luck and Prayers Frank

P.S. Anyone have the link for prayerful to that great Plan B letter thread?


.


It’s not the absence of trials that determines our happiness
Its the absence or presence of God
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Number ONE thing on the list is finding out who the OW is and EXPOSING the affair. I don't care if you have to hide in the bushes outside his apartment, you MUST find out.

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Number ONE thing on the list is finding out who the OW is and EXPOSING the affair. I don't care if you have to hide in the bushes outside his apartment, you MUST find out.


I just had a visual of this VERY pregnant woman squatting in the bushes hiding. Oh what would she say if discovered?

"Hi Officer, my water broke and I'm hiding because I'm embarrassed!"

"Hi Officer, I just bent over to smell a flower and fell over into these bushes, now I'm stuck!"

"Hi Officer, my doc suggested that I do some gentle exercises so I thought playing hide-n-seek would be a great way to do that! Now where ARE those kids?"


rotflmao


Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
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In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists. Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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rotflmao banghead rotflmao

Hilarious, PM!

Now picture if a couple of MB'ers who happened to live in the same city went along with her for moral support, and all hid in the bushes.

"Hello, officer. We're from the [insert name of city] Birdwatching Club, and we've had reports of a sighting of verius skankius in this area, you know, the Common Homer Ecker. We're attempting to verify this officially."


A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb



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But she's not PG! (I hope).

Seriously, you'll gotta help me keep after her. She's been here 2 months, doesn't know who the OW is, and now hubby is asking for a divorce.

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"Hello, officer. We're from the [insert name of city] Birdwatching Club, and we've had reports of a sighting of verius skankius in this area, you know, the Common Homer Ecker. We're attempting to verify this officially."


OMG Neak! That was hysterical.... "verius skankius" "Common Homer Ecker"

rotflmao


Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
*********************
In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists. Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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What really cracks me up, is if a person could manage to say that with a straight face, plenty of people would fall for it.

B dear, I'll just share my feelings and opinions with you, and anyone else who wants to eavesdrop is welcome to.

At first there were other, more important things to attend to, like making sure PM2 was past the place of wanting to harm herself. However, she's been Plan A'ing like a champ, and the whole situation is FAR past due for the stick of Plan A.

The carrot has been great, and I applaud that. And there has been some stick, too, i.e. the exposure to family members that has caused WH to feel very uncomfortable with his actions.

Still, a vital piece is missing. OW's family, and possibly her place of employment as well, MUST find out that she has become a full-fledged Common Homer Ecker.

Until the exposure pinches at both sides of the adulterous duo, its full power cannot be felt. Until exposure pinches (blasts!) at both sides of the adulterous duo, followed shortly by PB, the chances of R are not at their full peak.

Here is what I would do if it was me, and I'm just thinking out loud here, mind. I would throw caution to the wind, give out my city name on MB (to be deleted shortly after), and ask for help from any MB'ers in the area.

I fully sympathize with the difficulties, and as someone who spent many seemingly fruitless hours in surveillance myself, I really do understand what this involves. BUT (and remember Schoolbus says when a "but" is used, it cancels out whatever was said just before), this info needs to be gathered immediately and used to carry out exposure.

Every day that passes without full exposure, the A continues nearly unchecked. I can hardly overstate how critical I think it is to make this the number 1 priority and get it done at any cost. Call in help. Let the kids stay with Grandma for a couple days. Even call in sick to work for a day or two. No price too high for this information.

Everything else is going past its expiration date, waiting for this piece to come into place.

Well, those are my .02, just between you and me. wink


A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb



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Gosh, I hope she didn't fall down in the bushes.............

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No...I didn't fall in the bushes, just an incredibly hard week with student teaching and have barely been able to focus on the kids. I was incredibly exhausted tonight and every other night (up 'til 1am every night planning poetry lessons). Fell asleep shortly after finishing my client and student teaching tonight and then took the kids to rent movies at the store with DS's gift card from his friend for his birthday. After I get, hopefully, all of next week's lessons planned, I will respond to all the different posts on here.

While I was typing this, WH called and we had a nice conversation, both myself and the kids. Hopefully, I will be able to respond Sunday. Probably not tomorrow because the person doing power points for church services quit this week, so, now on top of music and everything else that I am doing in my life, I get to pick up doing the church power points. Don't remember volunteering for that?!?!?!?!?!

And, fyi...no I am not pregnant. Two kids, DS 12 and DD 7.

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Well, only a little more to go with your student teaching, right? Bet that will feel good!

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Quit all that you can and get your focus on finding out where the OW lives and who she is. If you ignore this you will lose any chance at saving the marriage.

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I plan on trying to pawn off as much as I can from church. Unfortunately work and student teaching are nothing that I can give up. Fifteen more days of student teaching and then almost all my days are free, except for working. Any time that I can devote to finding OW info will be. I want to go to watch where WH comes from and then check out who lives in those apartments.

After a google search of the names that I found, there was only one that would fit if she still lives there.

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Oh, you have to finish your student teaching!

If you can, email me her name and I will do a search.

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Well, I have to apologize. I spent 5 hours searching for info on the OW and found nothing. I looked on intellius, spokeo, facebook, my space, whoozie, whowhere, everywhere I knew to look. And I do have a subscription to Spokeo.

So I can see why you are having a hard time.

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I think pawning off your excess church responsibilities is a good idea anyway. If PB goes on a while, you might feel like picking some of that back up after resting a bit.

For now, guard your precious resources even against good things (like church jobs). smile


A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb



Neak's Story
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