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A round of applause for rltraveled! clap hurray clap

You did the right thing, no doubt about it.


Married DH May 5, 1990
DH45 - ME43 - DD18 - DD15

Thanx to MB my M is now back on track and better than ever. MB ROCKS!!!

Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it. It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk anything, you risk even more.

Erica Jong
1942-, American Author
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Jim, I am 19 years older than him.

I actually sent him here last year because his own wife was having an affair on him. He was devestated. I held his hand through it. He did counseling with SH.

And what does he do? Inside 2 months he's having his own affair.

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Hurray for bravery and good deeds!


Faith

me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
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Originally Posted By: joey123
The whole time she has said she was ending her marriage, however nothing has been accomplished. She hasn't filed, hasn't done a thing. I honestly thought her marriage was going to end and we would try to build a real relationship together.


Joey (if you'll ever be back),

I bet your WW was saying the same thing to her affair partner. How did it feel? Wouldn't you have liked the OM in your situation to have a big sister that would have interfered in their affair for you.


Jim

BS - 32 (me)
FWW - 33
Married 8/31/03
No kids (but 3 cats)
D-Days - 8/25/06 (EA), 11/3/06 (PA)
NC agreed to - 11/8/06
NC broken - 11/28/06, 12/16/06, 1/18/07, 1/26/07, 1/27/07
Status - In Recovery
Jim's Story
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rlt, I applaud you. You took the high road and gave the BH a chance to pull the knife out of his back before he bled to death not knowing why.

Now Joey on the other hand, well we've found out alot about his character and lack of it.

Quote:
In joey123's words, I am now "dead" to him.


That's so very typical logic for a WS. He was the one doing the crime yet he wants you to pay for it by becoming "dead" to him. Nice. I've heard easier sentences for murderers. Unbelievable. When is he going to put the blame where it belongs? The messenger ISN'T to blame!!!!!

rlt, I know the idea of him being "out of your life" is unsettling and probably painful at this point, but you KNOW you did the right thing by shining the light on this despicable situation. Someday, MAYBE, joey will man up and put the blame for this WHOLE situation and the way it was cowardly handled squarely on HIS shoulders where it belongs. Until then I'm not sure I'd want a relative with that little moral compass around my family and kids anyway.

rlt....ya done good


BW(me)
DDay EA 4/05
DDay PA 6/05
In recovery
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It's hard to fathom a BH doing this to another man after KNOWING the pain involved. That takes a SPECIAL kind of guy. Geeez
{now leaving before I say something I get censored for}


BW(me)
DDay EA 4/05
DDay PA 6/05
In recovery
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Quote:
I'm joey's older sister. I outed him, after giving due diligence in allowing him to do it himself.

In joey123's words, I am now "dead" to him.


Way to go RLT!!

How are YOU doing? Enjoying our screwed up spring weather.

I had lunch with DGS at the Morrison Inn a few weeks ago and thought of you.

Last edited by chrisner; 05/14/10 02:00 PM.

Testosterone boys! Testosterone! It aint just for nose, ear and back hair anymore!
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Hi Chrisner,

Things going well here. How are you?

I am DONE with this snow.

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rlt,

Did you ever get a hold of OWH?


Jim

BS - 32 (me)
FWW - 33
Married 8/31/03
No kids (but 3 cats)
D-Days - 8/25/06 (EA), 11/3/06 (PA)
NC agreed to - 11/8/06
NC broken - 11/28/06, 12/16/06, 1/18/07, 1/26/07, 1/27/07
Status - In Recovery
Jim's Story
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This is what happened. I sent messages to the OWH, the OWH's mother and brother. But being that I gave the waywards a heads up by telling joey to make the call himself, or I would, that already had all their ducks in a row. So I received responses from the OWH's page, but they were short and felt like a fishing expedition. I knew right away it wasn't OWH, that OW was waiting for the message and circumventing it, pretending to be OWH.

Also, by waiting, this gave OW time to cook up a story about how I'm some "nutjob with 5 cats." The brother then chimed in asking for a print screen of the correspondence between me and OWH. I wasn't sure, at first, why he wanted a print screen, but then I realized that it would show him that I wasn't making it up. I did sent him the print screen a little while later, but he basically thought I cooked it up.

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OK, so the mom also chimed in. Asked if I would talk to her by phone. I agreed. We did. She was somewhat leery of me. (I don't blame her, I guess). I told her what I knew. Then later, that's when the brother started messanging me. They all think I'm a crazy cat lady! The mother sent a message a couple hours after the phone call and told me to "Please leave my family alone!" OK, I said, go live in lala land.

Bottom line, I don't know what OWH knows, if the whole family is protecting him, if OW told him a sack of lies, or what. And as far as joey is concerned, well, he found out and went ballistic, sent me a scathing email packed with lies about me and whing, "Now I can can never see OW again!"

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Quote:
"Now I can can never see OW again!"


Mission Accomplished!!


Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
*********************
In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists. Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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Originally Posted By: princessmeggy
Mission Accomplished!!


Last edited by jmwc95; 05/14/10 03:25 PM.

Jim

BS - 32 (me)
FWW - 33
Married 8/31/03
No kids (but 3 cats)
D-Days - 8/25/06 (EA), 11/3/06 (PA)
NC agreed to - 11/8/06
NC broken - 11/28/06, 12/16/06, 1/18/07, 1/26/07, 1/27/07
Status - In Recovery
Jim's Story
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There was a flaw in joey's strategery.

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Originally Posted By: rltraveled
OK, so the mom also chimed in. Asked if I would talk to her by phone. I agreed. We did. She was somewhat leery of me. (I don't blame her, I guess). I told her what I knew. Then later, that's when the brother started messanging me. They all think I'm a crazy cat lady! The mother sent a message a couple hours after the phone call and told me to "Please leave my family alone!" OK, I said, go live in lala land.

Bottom line, I don't know what OWH knows, if the whole family is protecting him, if OW told him a sack of lies, or what. And as far as joey is concerned, well, he found out and went ballistic, sent me a scathing email packed with lies about me and whing, "Now I can can never see OW again!"



That dog. He comes on here, all repentent-like, and we all tell him what he needs to do. He knows you did the right thing!


D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!

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Originally Posted By: Gerkaguards
There was a flaw in joey's strategery.


rotflmao


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Originally Posted By: rltraveled
Also, by waiting, this gave OW time to cook up a story about how I'm some "nutjob with 5 cats.


dis is partly TRUE! grin


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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RLTraveled,
You not only have good character but you're smart too! (And hey, what's wrong with cats?!)
You did what he was to yellow bellied to do.


Enacting life's lessons into positive change... .
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Now Mel, be nice to the felines.

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I remember my wife's line to me after I exposed to the other man's wife.

"Now he'll probably never talk to me again! I love you, but when you do things like this I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!"

Yep. Mission accomplished. Felt like crap, and still feel like crap when I remember those words. But... well, the OM is out of our lives, and despite the very hard days recovering, that drama is over.


Doormat_No_More
(Formerly Barnboy)
Original thread lost in the forum purge of '09.
4 months after D-Day
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