Hi All feeling soo good today!

I forgot to tell you my WH told me yesterday that he doesnt know who I am right because this person isnt his wife.... She is strong indeoendant and would have figured a way to get through this and try to work things out...... Just food for thought I didnt say anything just thought yes thats who I was before you tried to kill me!

My daughters 8th grade ceremony was today and I wasnt supposed to go but arranged my schedule at work to go ....

WH was not expecting me..... So I dressed to kill with some very tight fiting jeans and a pretty blue blouse... Did my make up hair and was smelling great! I came in and pretended I didnt see him right away and as I was walking by he looked at me and signaled to the chair next to him.

I gave him the biggest smile and asked if our daughter had received her award since i was a little late. He said yes and I was very dissapointed but all i said was oh I wanted to see her.

I made small pleasant talk and was happy and upbeat....

After a little while he asked me if I changed at home since he know I wear aan ugly uniform for work.

I was like no I took clothes to work..... He was slightly cold but I did not let that deter me I was happy and friendly like nothing was the matter....

We saw a video of the 8th grade prom and we just kept taking about how pretty our daughter was and we were surprised to see her dancing with a boy!!

I laughed and told him prepare yourself for 9th grade!He said I dont think so.....

I told him we have done a very good job with our daughter! I touched his hand and then he let me squeeze his fingers

I gave him a friendly rub on the back knowing he was feeling a little sad.. i asked him if he felt ok and he said Im fine so I just turned back and ejoyed the rest of the video I was up beat and followed the songs! I also commented that out other daughter was coming to middle school next school year .... how time flies huh!

I mentioned that I wanted to take the kids to the beach this weekend and he said we should while on vacation.... I said you are right and the kids also want to go to NY to see time square and the SOL

i asked him to take something to our other daughter at school which she forgot he said he would

Then I told him we had to pay bills and that i had cleaned the fridge but the freezer was still leaking.... I asked if he was going to stop by later so we could go over these things

He said he didnt know yet since he was taking the kids out after school...

I said ok I have to get back to work I gave him my camera so he could take a couple of pics with our daughter.

I then leaned over and told him that just looking at our daughter reminds me what a good father he has been and gave him a quick peck on the cheek and left!

I am sure he was left wondering what the heck is going on.

I am not going to contact him if he comes over well fine if not then I will keep myself busy this weekend.

Taking my meds and getting some rest!

Can some one bump sick of limbos thread I couldnt find it.

OMG!! YA!! Keep doing that!! You are actually in a plan NOW!! Doesn't that feel great??

Your focused! That is the ONE thing that he will notice, you are determined to fix this marriage where as before you were all over the place and you wouldn't listen to anyone, and to see this change in you lisa makes me soo happy!

We all know you can do this!

Now go to bed and get some rest

{{{LISA}}}

Thanks I am focused because I value my familly way to much to just give up right now! Plus I realzied all I was doing was making the situation 10 times worse

I will do plan A and then Plan B and with gods help go from there!

I will do plan A as long as I can

Lisa, I just made it through your thread. Just wanted to pop in and say ~ Bravo! You are doing great! What a turn-around!

Plan A was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. I am very emotional, and I acted like a crazy woman when I discovered the A. Thank goodness I found this place. Plan A really helped me land on my feet a better person and W in the end, mainly in terms of learning how to avoid Lbers...so for that I am thankful.

A couple of things I did during Plan A to help me keep my head on straight. I had "Plan A" notes and posts bookmarked here (should be easy for you, you've got so many good people posting to you) that I had to read before and after almost every interaction with my foggy WH. Having a solid plan is what got me through it. When I felt my emotions starting to bubble over, I would take a shower or tackle a chore or take a ride and listen to some music and cry. So have a couple strategies in place when you feel a LBer coming.

Lastly, have you seen the reverse fog talk? The reason I like it is because it puts you in the state of mind that you are going to get ridiculous crazy fog spewn on you...therefore (hopefully) you are prepared for it and don't react to it.

Hang in there!

No I havent can you bump it? of send me the link?

Lisa, I bumped Sick of limbos thread is a few threads down its call "want a new start she doesnt" or sumthing like that.....

Lisa,

What a turn around! I KNEW you had it in you once you got your emotions under control. So, so proud of you.

lisa, i'm so proud of you, you are so on the right track, it's a combo, of looking strong and sweet at the same time, being a great mom, looking sexy, smelling great and fulfilling some of his needs to hear he is a great man, father.
Keep yourself busy and when the opportunity is there to show him what he will be losing.....go all out.....
I know this works myself, I did exactly what you are starting to do, and low and behold, the OW and that life he thought he wanted is over and he is being a great man, husband and father.......
It may take a while, but after a couple of months of him being used to the new me, I guess the me I should have been all along.....when I backed off a little, he came to me, he didn't want to lose the new relationship we were having and the feelings he was getting from it......I thought about it this way, I didn't want my marriage to end, and if it didn't work, I wouldn't have to question myself if I had tried everything possible to fix what was wrong......I was willing to put myself out there one last time and if I got hurt so be but that would be the end.....It all worked out for me and I hope for you as well....
You will have weak moments, but take a deep breath and don't let him see it for now, when he is more aware of what kind of pain this has cause you then you can talk about that but for now....work on forgiveness and just understanding each other......

Good job, Lisa. This forum is such an awesome resource for support and guidance.

That is exactly what I want!

I just have to keep going one day at a time!

I want to be the best I cant be not only for myself but for the relationship as well! I can think about the future right now other than than how to get through these days!

THat is a great way to think about it, lisa....concentrate on the prize...a chance at happily recovered M.

Thats exactly what I want I just hope he comes to his senses sooner than later! Feeling a little panicky since he hast texted or called me all day after the graduation this morning!

I know he is at our house right now with the kids but I am a little anxious about the fact he hast tried to contact me all day!

Is that normal for him to do that?

I mean he texted me yestrday for stupid stuff but then nothing after he left!

Everything is normal for a stupid Waynerd......Listen, Stop those little wheels in your head from turning, K?

Lisa,

stop worrying about what he is doing. In Plan A you have to assume he is wayward, that is why you are in plan A. Push those panicky thoughts aside and think of something that will distract you.

yes I found an unfamiliar number and it turned out to be his friends ...........

I played it off like I had a unfamiliar phone in my cell and just was friendly and said oh maybe it was my husband that called from my phone and she laughed and was like probably because my husband uses my phone all the time!


Im hoping he doesnt find out!!!!!!

1 huge step back

HELP totally need to stay on track!!!!!!!

Lisa.....Now what would have happened if OW answered, you would have been upset and prolly DJd and AOd or said something (not nice) to OW....Listen you are just trying to get a nice quick but effective Plan A in....No more calling strange #s okay?

I dont think he will find out but if he does NO DJ or AO....Just an apology, k?

I am a nervous wreck I dont think she will say anything to her hubby since i was acting totally perplexed and said sorry for bothering you!

But still knew it was wrong and now Im having anxiety!