Even the dog!

If the wayward spouse has a big old piece of luggage FILLED and OVERFLOWING with resentments .... There is more propensity and potential toward ruthless behavior.

It can apply toward WH or WW, however, it seems to me that WW's "in general" hold more grudges and are keeping score more often than WHs.

Is this universally true?
No, of course not.
But, I think there is a trend.

Or I may be looking at it through the lens of my own situation.

Depends on whether you're a BW or a BH.


I've seen some pretty wicked WHs...one up close and personal. I've read on MB about some pretty wicked WWs.

Who cares which is worse when your whole world is shattered? Whether it's shattered into a billion pieces or a gazillion...shattered is shattered.

This is like comparing the damage of an EA to a PA to a wayward who ends A upon discovery to a wayward whose A goes on and on to false recoveries to abandonment to financial ruin to exposing children to AP and on and on the wickedness goes.

It's all still devasting. Do we really need to measure the amount of devastation?

All I know is that what I endured was incomprehensible and almost not survivable while I lived it. If I had merit badges for all that I endured battling the affair, I would be well decorated...more so than many BH's. I am sure, however, that there are those(BWs and BHs alike) who would be far more decorated than I.

Yet here I am in a passionate, intimate marriage with my husband of over 20 years.

While battling an affair, work Plan A & B to the best of your ability. While recovering your marriage, work the MB recovery plan to the best of your ability. Don't worry about whether your WS is worse than others. I can assure you, we're all dealing with the person who has the power to hurt us more than anyone on earth. That doesn't need measured.

Exception, no.
How about minority?

But we are talking about ruthlessness.

I have seen very few wayward husbands attempt to take the house and kids from BW.

But a large majority of WW do try this with there BH.
And want child support.
And want alimony.
And the cars.
A the furniture.
And the boat.

Even the dog!

Not~~~~~> <~~~~~ Mel
(for those who are unsure who is who........ )

Gack stated this:


Reading many threads here over the years, the BH's thought they had a good marriage. When the A occurs, the WW goes crazy, and becomes ruthless. What the BH learns HERE, is that thier early marriage had alot of issues, and learned to conflict avoid, to "keep the peace". And once the A starts, then all those things to keep the BH in line in the past are increased in intensity by the WW.

LG

hmmmmm.....could it be that WW's are more vocal about their resentments and entitlements?

This is the thought I keep coming back to in reading this......

Not~~~~~> <~~~~~ Mel
(for those who are unsure who is who........ )

this could be true!

I would agree with this in so that women are probably more vocal with their resentments and complaints, which leads me to believe that they told their husbands a million times as well and they did nothing about it (not saying it is right to have an affair just saying a BH probably has more of a clue than a BW)....

I think all waywards are mean. I think women, in general, tend to be more vicious than men.

[color:#FF0000]I think all waywards are mean.

Where the WW is more prone to rewrite history and come at you from "I haven't loved you for __ years, can't change my feelings now, too little too late, don't know if I want to try." mindset. The WW is more apt to never give a real try to recovery.

Or I may be looking at it through the lens of my own situation.

Only in Texas.

In other parts, we women are quite gentle and kind.