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Joined: Apr 2008
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Just bumping this up. You need some advice from the pro's on what to do with the new info..

And no, do not stop snooping. That is the only way you have to discover the truth of what has happened and to verify the info she gives you in the future.

Joined: May 2010
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Well, my saga continues...we recently started joint sessions with our counselor. I revealed that I knew who the guy was as mentioned above. She was shocked. I told her i am not a stupid as she thinks i am. She claims she hasn't seen him or been in contact with him. i also found out she was still talking to the guy she had a TA with in 2008 on FB. I let her know that also. You should have seen the look on her face and the counselors. SHOCK AND AWE!!!

She is now moving into an apartment at the advisement of our counselor. She says it is temporary because she can't live with our friends anymore, 6 weeks now. She says she can't move home. They both claim that this isn't supposed to be a bachlorette pad, but she has posted on her FB that a "she is starting a new adventure today".

I have read many other threads by FWW's, and they expressed remorse for what they did and wanted to reconcile. My WW has done nothing of the sort. She continues to cling to the fact that she never lived alone and married young. I was 24 and she was 21.

Today is 14 years to the day that I proposed and never thought I would be in this situation. How naive I was to think that?

Is this a sign to move on? Or as Jessitaylor said above "13 years is a long time to just throw in the towel". SO CONFUSED!!!


BH me-38
WW -35
Son-10
married 13 Yrs together 14 yrs
DDay nov 2009/may 2010
found MB march 2010
2nd seperation may 2010
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any advice???


BH me-38
WW -35
Son-10
married 13 Yrs together 14 yrs
DDay nov 2009/may 2010
found MB march 2010
2nd seperation may 2010
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
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Originally Posted by MelodyLane
Originally Posted by burrhead
I have my son and the house. She is living with a couple (H/W) friend of ours, who we have known for years. They said they are just helping a friend in need. She always has a story for anything I discover(finances, insurance, etc). She has always had my crdt crd 3's.

burrhead, sorry you are here. frown The first thing I would do is cut off all her credit cards and take her name off any accounts. She has moved out so she can have affairs and you should not finance that.

I would file for separation/divorce only to get legal protection from her. You want to keep possession of your home and primary custody of your son. If you don't do this, your W can come home and have you booted out while she replaces you with her lovers. Your wife is extremely destructive to you and your son and it is your job to get protection.

Counseling will avail you absolutely nothing while she is having affairs.

After you cut off her money and get legal protection in place, I would make her an offer. Go to her and tell her you would be willing to give her an opportunity to EARN YOUR FORGIVENESS and reconcile if she does certain things. Those things would be:

1. complete and total honesty about her past - followed by a successful polygraph test - complete names of adultery partners

2. complete transparency, cell phone passwords, access to her cellphone at all times. No more online time unless together

3. NO leisure time apart EVER.

4. no opposite sex friends or single female friends

Tell her, this is what it will take to interest me. If she doesn't do those things, you are NOT SAFE WITH HER and are better off moving on.

You need to RAISE THE BAR, friend. You have lowered the bar SO LOW that she is simply living down to your expectations.

And lastly, you should tell everyone in your family about her affairs. Tell everyone the truth, ESPECIALLY YOUR SON, that your wife is a serial cheater who has moved out so it will be easier to conduct her affairs.

If you don't tell your son the truth, she will tell him lies. She has probably already introduced him to some of her lovers and he very confused about that.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Joined: May 2010
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^TOTALLY AGREE!! laugh

Joined: Dec 2006
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need to change this power paradigm - follow melody's advice above - at least get proactive and get a plan formulated.


Me:52
W: 52
Married: 32 yrs
2 Sons (29 & 23)
1 Dtr (20)
1 GDtr (2.5) precious little girl
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