Hey...

Any chance we can get Bravotv to start a new Housewives series...

The Housewives Of Texas.

Be perfect timing for the showdown at the "HO"down episode.

It might be as good as the table tipping episode of the New Jersey wives...

or the one coming up this Monday when Teresa chases Danielle out of the restaurant....Teresa's heel breaks and she just keeps giving chase...and Danielle's bodyguard picks her up...carries her to safety like Kevin Costner did Whitney Houston in Bodyguard. <gag>

EXCEPT....this time there ain't no saving the HO bag.

oooops...got a little carried away there.

commie

That's TOO funny! I've had the same thought about a HWofTexas show. How they'd all have to be packin'... Danielle wouldn't stand a chance in Texas.

pm,

I say that we get on this right away...and make sure that Mel is one of them thar housewives.

committed

Yup, and Hope could be another one since that gal knows how to make an OW sweat.

Wow, MelodyLane. I didn't know you endured both an A and the death of a child at the same time. That kind of loss leaves me just about speechless, but now I understand better where your strength and knowledge come from.

When you are at the wedding, walk in there looking radiant and with your head held high. YOU have every reason in the world to celebrate your son's marriage.

OW, on the other hand, really doesn't even deserve a second thought from you. You know the truth about who she is and what she's done (as do plenty of people that will be there) and she's the one that should feel uncomfortable about being there, not you.

I can certainly understand where the urge to deck her would come from but really, would she be worth breaking a nail over???

I agree with the advice to talk to your son, but I assume this has already been done.

So let me say this, and I mean it in the best possible way:

I hope your son NEVER understands how much this situation hurts. I hope he's always just a little bit clueless about it. And I hope his marriage is spectacularly wonderful.

Are you going to give him and his bride a stack of Marriage Builders books earned from radio show questions at the reception?

Mel:

I am sorry to hear about the events at the funeral...

Does the mother of the bride know of the circumstances of your son's fathers AP?

Sometimes, its worth the convo. That way you can minimize SOME of the things during the wedding to aviod confict and pain.

Son may not help. Future DIL may not help nor understand, but future MIL may have some sway with seating charts, photo opp's and other arrangements.

A simple statement to MIL: "I do hope that you know that *skankyho* is the woman that broke up the marriage of your future SIL's parents. I would ask some consideration to NOT be required to be part of any "family photo's" that include her, nor being seated anywhere near her during the ceremonies..."

You might know her and she may o may not respond to it, but usually, the mother of the bride has ALOT of sway over the nuptials.

And as J/L recommended, you should have a sit down with DS about WHY you feel this way. And WHY you are not "bitter" but why you do not feel that you have to be in the same room with skanky-ho.

Head high, Chest out, Pistol Packed...

LG

Excellent idea, LG, about talking to DIL's mom!


{{{{{{Melody}}}}}

It is a good idea. I think talking to DIL is worth a shot too. After all, she wants to get on her soon to be MIL's good side. Maybe she can help your son understand this.

Maybe you could take future DIL and her mom out to lunch and ask for their help...advice.

So sorry you're going through this. ((((Mel))))

I've heard that Aquanet comes in travel size....and if it accidentally gets sprayed in someone's eyes while no one is looking, it really hurts.

I was a bridesmaid at a friend's wedding long ago, and the dad brought his HO. The mom was very upset. But ya know....everyone there knew the story. The mom didn't have to worry because everyone there kind of "protected" her and pretty much politely froze out ho-ho. It wasn't ugly or tacky or anything. It was just very clear what everyone thought of hohead being there.

I have never thought of you as bitter - just wise with a strong moral compass.

Yes. My nephew got M last year and invited his dad and his father's ho/wife. I watched over my sister all evening as did others.

And I looked past, talked past, walked past the two of them all night. My sister and I behaved as though neither of them were even there. All the decent people there either ignored them or treated them w/ a cold politeness.

I am so sorry you are having to go through this Mel. Definitely sit down with daughter in law and her mom. Explain the situation. I was very careful at my wedding where Bio-dad and family were placed. If MIL had said she would have problems with the situation, I would have ensured they were not invited.

IMHO, having an adulteress at a wedding is an insult not only to the BS, but to the wedding as a whole. Adultery flies in the face of the very vows they are there to take! It is wholly disrespectful to the bride and groom.

On a funny side thought, did you ever see "Sweet Home Alabama"? Why can I just see you pulling what the main character did and someone else saying "the south has risen again!"

Mel, for all the good you do for others, I'm sorry this pain has to be visited on you.

I'm pretty new at the praying business, but I'm saying a prayer for you.

Oh Melodylane, I am so very sorry to hear this story! I agree with SuzieQ, this has to be the cruelest story I have ever heard!

How horrible for your XH to even allow the POSOW to be at your son's funeral & now to come to your other son's wedding...makes me so sick to think that you have to go through this!!!

I too will pray for your strength! I will also wish for a broken ankle. I don't understand some people & their cruel intentions! You sound like such a strong woman!

ITA what SidneyT said. ML, this is going to suck. But MAN! are you going to be a hero in your son's (&dil's) eyes! That's grace under pressure. As opposed to OW under your car tires, which is frowned upon at many social gatherings.

I assume they'll be getting (or already got) some Harley books as wedding gifts, yes? I can't think of a better gift.

Thanks Princess Meggy, if I do decide to go, I will leave my pink handled Taurus pistol in the car. I don't know yet if I can go with her there. Seriously. I am freaking Irish and have a horrendous temper. This kind of disrespect just sends me over the edge.

Luroosi, the bad thing is that MAMA is paying for the catering and if that ho shows she will eating all my LOW CARB BBQ and cucumber salad!

Thanks so much, JL. I am so sorry for your son. What a tragedy. And yes, I have spoken to my son. He only sees my happy marriage with my new H and thinks I made out in the deal! "you are so much better off, Mom!" Which scares me, because his father has taught him that adultery is the solution to a bad marriage and we should all just accept it and move on. ugh�

Part of the problem is that this is such an emotionally charged situation for me that I easily go into RAGE ZONE and when that happens he turns me off. MRsW warned me about this, but I do find it very hard to control.

Good idea, Pepperband. I will be helping in the setting up of the wedding and I will make sure her chair is in the bathroom.

Thanks not2fun, markos faithfulfollower, TBC, SOL, .


you know it girlfriend!!! They need to get this hodown on film!! MelodyLane on da front lawn showing the OW a thing or two about a thing or two! She will be in my territory now! "officer, this FLATHEADED YANKEE GAL had an affair with my husband and has the nerve to show up at my son's wedding!!" Texas Ranger: "you're goin to jail, gal!!"


Now, Sidney, a Texas gal can kick some [censored] without breaking a sweat or mussing her hair!


Here is the kicker, LG, and this makes me doubly mad at my son. The mother of the bride does know. The brides father left her mother when A was 2 for his affair partner. THAT affair partner, now married to her dad, IS NOT INVITED TO THE WEDDING. I pointed this out to my son and he said "mom, that is different, she was mean to A."

As if my H's OW was not "mean" to him. She strived and succeeded in breaking up his family and his parents marriage. That is pretty damn mean if you ask me!

I like the idea of talking to A's mother about this. She went through the same thing and would likely be very understanding.



that is a good one!

ELuna, thanks for the feedback. I really like that suggestion.

Thanks Fred, stillhope, Marsh, and marital bliss.

You guys are awesome! Thanks so much for your wonderful feedback!

Ahhhhhhhh, but Mrs. W knows you to be a person of great faith - This is a test of that faith - You MUST believe that God meant every single word He has ever said...

Memorize this verse - in case of nerves, write it down and put it in your very classy wedding handbag...

Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord.

Romans 12:19

You rest easy knowing that God has you covered! Let Him take care of old "Billy Bob Teef"...He will...

((((((((((Mel))))))))))

Mrs. W

Melody Lane
As you have so adequately described the OW did not act with class or sensitivity. There will be additional boorish behaviour you will have to endure as long as you are linked together by your children. It is times like this one has to display as much professionalism and grace that one can muster. This event is for your son. And from what I have seen from your posts on this forum I have confidence you will be a picture of dignity and grace.

However this does not diminish the emotions and discomfort you have to face while in the presence of someone who has contributed to the breakdown of your family. However you can be secure knowing you do not have to participate in the the display of classlessness you have been presented with.

As my Mother used to remind me "There are times we must keep a stiff upper lip and rise above our circumstances"

Blessings to you ML, my prayers are with you.

Mel,

Aquanet and a BIC lighter can create some interesting effects, FWIW.

Seriously, I'm sorry you even have to deal with this crap, but as the title of the thread explains it...

You know you have to go, though, because missing the wedding of your son would haunt you for a long time for sure. I'm also thinking of a biblical principal here; being nice to your enemies is like heaping burning coals upon his(her) head.

Just happens to be a skanky flathead in this case.

And I'd leave the Taurus at home, even if the color is a perfect match for the wedding theme.

You're WAY better than she is and this is a chance to prove it to everyone.

She isn't worth the effort to hate her enough to miss your son's wedding over. The best revenge is a life well lived.

Mark

Mel,

Thank you for your words. Mrs. W quoted But, that doesn't mean that Mel cannot show up and SHINE That Mel cannot show up with her H and show the world what class really vs. what classless really is.

Now being married to a Texas girl myself, I will tell you there is NO way on God's Green Earth that some HO would keep her from attending her son's wedding.

I'm tellin' ya' Mel, shine up and show up girl and teach that woman what GRACE is really about.

Think about it.

God Bless,

JL