mymissy, you are doing fantastic! You're being very strong and you're an inspiration to me that it DOES get better with time. Keep making those plans!

Thanks everyone, again the reassurance is sometimes much needed. I find that I have been coming back here again more often like I did in the beginning.
I must be feeling better, because now I feel that I can post to others and offer encouragment and advice. Before I felt too broken to offer any help. Now I am feeling more open and less lost to now be able to help others.
So, now it is time to pay it forward; so many of you here have helped me through one of the hardest's times in my life. Pep has talked me through many situations as they were happening. Thank you for that.
Someone on here - Hope I believe, compared the A to that of cancer. Well I can say I have survived both. I think the cancer survival was easier.
Each day is better though, each step I take that takes me farther away from the drama is better, and the darker I stay the better i feel. I know; And it only took a few months of that for me to get it.

If I am able to offer encouragment through this thread to others great, for me it has been sort of a journaling process.
Hope everyone is having a good day, today I am.

Today was super busy at work, which is always a good thing - since it keeps me distracted from the crap.
I got word today that my current place has rented and I am being let out of the lease; and I accepted a new place and will be moving again in a month.
I am moving back to my hometown, closer to family and close friends.
I know it is only going to bring me darker still, which is good; but I feel indifferent. Its just another place, its not home; home was destroyed and now has a POSOW and her kids living in it.

OW H called me recently, said POSOW is using the kids against him and limiting how much time they spend with him. Apparently they do not have anything formal established yet either.
What a witch with a B!!!
I am waiting for the karma bus to run a few people over, I hope it rolls through soon.

Well I had dinner with my DstepChildren tonight and I finally did it.
NOT ONE MENTION, NOT ONE WORD of WH and POSOW!!!! YEAH

It was very hard.

GREAT JOB. WOOOHOOOOOO. I hope you are doing well. Take care.

When do you get over the feeling of being kicked in the chest and not being able to catch your breath; I'm tired of that feeling. It sneaks up out of nowhere at least once a day, usually followed by that sad feeling and a few tears.

I still struggle to come to grips with the loss of the person I spoke to 5-6 times a day, every day; and had to have that loss instantly.

Still no word from attorney, what is the purpose of hanging on at this point; why won't he let me go, or is it his wallet he won't let go of?

I am tired, I am ready to move...

My missy, it gets better but I find when I start dwelling on the A that is when I start to fold.

Don't beat yourself up. We did not deserve this...no one does. We just never saw it coming. The person we trusted most became untrustworthy and a stranger.

Karma will be when they feel this pain that we went through and it will happen.

Are you sure that will happen, I really really really want the karma tank to plow over the AP's.

I am starting to worry; reading Hope3343 thread and what she now has to deal with.
Is my WH stalling the dissolution to hold on to OUR money and keep the affantasy alive for himself and POSOW?
A very good friend of mine thinks I should go ahead and sue for Divorce and get the half that is mine instead of waiting for him to concede bit by bit.
I need some advice.....

Well, no advice needed. Heard from attorney today, WH finally conceded to half and I signed the legal separation today.

Kind of sad really.

I kept thinking through the whole thing that surely he would wake up and stop this absurd behavior. I guess not.

Yeah... I kept waiting for my WH to wake up, too. And the longer he's with POSOW, the meaner and uglier he gets. Actually, he acts more and more LIKE HER.

Are you OK with half of the assets? Remember -- what you don't get, SHE does.

And what a role model POSOW is for her kids.

Pray for her. Pray the karma bus finds her soon.

I am actually praying for the karma tank.


Well, I have to be OK with half, Ohio is a no fault state and the law states "fair and equitable division of the marital assets and debt".
But I think I hit him where it hurts the most (wallet) and he is going to have to work until he is probably 70 to now pay off the house, support her (she doesn't want to work), and help her support her three children (because, she doesn't want to work).
But I also think that she isn't going to have quite the easy ride she thought. I would like to think STBXWH may start getting resentful of her hand out.
However, after reading some of the threads here, I finally realize that I no longer know this person. Maybe he likes slapping money in her hand.

I don't know anymore, I am tired, and am glad this drama for me is coming to an end. I am moving an hour north in 2 weeks, back to where I grew up and am glad to be putting that 60 miles between me and the AP's. I signed a one year lease, and plan on taking that time for me and then figuring out where I want to go. Somewhere warmer in the winter than OH.

Still sad though, MD is trying a different antiD, I am hoping this one will work better than the first two tried. I am tired of feeling sad.

My Missy, no words can express...it is just shocking at the change in them. We all want the karma bus or truck or tank or plane. Crash and burn. Only from the wreckage maybe the phoenix will rise once again.

It is not what we wanted but we learn every day. Blessings.

Thanks Hope, you are right - no words can express...

I keep thinking what happened to the person who kept telling me I was his soulmate, what happened to my best friend, surely the person I trusted most in this world and lifetime could not be that cruel.
But my wishes are not the reality, the reality is that he is gone. I don't like the alien that took his place. The alien has no compassion, no empathy, and no conscious.

The destruction is just so sad and worthless.

I did not want this, but I am becoming more confident that a better life for myself will rise up out of the ashes of the devastation he caused. I believe it has to....

Missy, I can't even imagine what you've been through since you first posted in January. I'm glad you have recently got a SepAgreement that you're at least somewhat comfortable with. Personally I have found each one of these "steps in the process" tend to make me feel a little closer to the ultimate goal of detachment (although you know from my thread I have managed to throw myself back a few steps along the way. )

From reading a lot of threads I'm starting to feel that D and A's are viewed and experienced differently from a female perspective. Trust me I'm not ready to switch places with your gender. My heart really breaks for you.

Someone put in my SAA thread a long time ago that "the best revenge is living well." I think when you achieve that for yourself, the next day the karma tank arrives at xwh's door. Thing is, by the very nature of "living well," you won't care anymore what happens to him because you will have detached and moved on. Kind of a paradox.

What I wish is peace for MM.

opt

Thanks Opt,
Your right about the gender differences though; OWH said the very same thing.
MM wishes for some peace as well, tired of being sad. It is time to heal and move forward.

Well here is an update:
I have managed to stay very dark for at least a few weeks; I received a phone call from OWH today. Apparently there had been a small altercation involving words between OWH and STBXWH with one other witness. Well this was reported to administration; they started an investigation - shock - but two stories matched and one did not.

I'll give you one guess as to who is the one lying - your right WH. Much of the A has now been told to administration including WH and POSOW - all day, every day texting and emailing.

WH lied about the altercation trying to make OWH look bad, it backfired.
STBXWH is being transferred and will now have to drive about an hour and a half one way.
Wonder what kind of damper that will put on the love nest.


Here is my dilemma; I instantly want to reach out and ask - Your life became better when you met me, look at what has happened when you are not with me! Look at the chaos your life is becoming!

I want to do that but I won't. Am I making the right choices by leaving and getting away from here? Am I making the right choices by continuing to move forward?

I hate it when I second guess my decisions and choices.

Mymissy, you act as if you didn't hear this info, because frankly, being in Plan B, you should have.

It is FUN to hear these things. It is GREAT to actually KNOW that the Karma bus is running him over. BUT, what does it do for YOU? It does NOTHING. It doesn't change where your WH is and what he is doing. Let karma do it's thing and stay your course. I am GLA that you didn't contact him.

So, how are things going on your end? You feeling good? Are you eating better? Sleeping? Exercise? Just trying to get your focus back to your personal recovery. Maybe calls from OWH should go unanswered now? Hmmmm, me thinks I suggested that before. It really will help you. I KNOW how you WANT to know. Believe me, I know people who would tell me things and I KNOW that all I have to do is ask. Thing is, I understand that when I hear ANYTHING, it derails me. I need to protect myself. You owe it to yourself to protect you too.

Take care. You are a strong and powerful woman. (((((MYMISSY)))))

What is the alternative choice?

And, by the way .... this ....

is a big DJ .... better left unsaid inside your head.