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Eluna,
I've read your thread. My impression is you are carrying around so much guilt around your neck it's starting to choke you. And you have this expectation that people are supposed to be perfect (including yourself) and not make mistakes. That is an awfully high bar to set for yourself and everyone around you. You are not perfect, you can't handle everything yourself and your WH and DS will make bad decisions in life. Yes, I know - you WH made a bad decision and OW should pay too. My FWH made a bad decision - it took two years to recover my M. Here's the difference between you and I. I didn't not care about OW. I did not want to give her any power over me or my M. By you checking her FB you are giving her power over you. Your WH needs to work on his EP - that is what helps you feel more secure.

Quote:
So that makes me wonder what it is about me that makes me unworthy of fidelity and faithfulness? twoxfour pityparty


You're going to go through different phases while in recovery. But remaining in "guilt" mode won't help you get to next phase. I went through something with my daughter's medical condition and I carried alot of guilt. I read something Christopher Reed wrote - something to effect of "bad things happen to good people - that's life."

Gg


D-Day #1 Aug/2007.
D-Day #2 1/27/12
Legally Separated
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Since I had been feeling isolated lately, I spoke with WH about it. I explained that while I enjoyed him spending time with DS, that we had reverted back to allowing DS to have most of our time. That I needed the 15+ hours of UA time.

So we agreed to get DS back on his bedtime schedule.

Earlier in the week WH and I discussed graitude. He was disappointed that he was helping around the house more and I would only seem to notice in passing. I tried to explain to him that domestic support was not one of my big ENs and that while I appreciated his efforts it did not give me a great big warm and fuzzy to say thank you.

So I took another approach. I asked him what he would be more appreciative of: me washing the dishes, or giving him oral......
He seemed to understand then.

But that got me to thinking that maybe I should revisit the EN questionnaire.

So yesterday I took some time and filled it out again from top to bottom. I also asked WH to do the same. After DS went to bed last night we stayed up talking and comparing answers.

I figured out that I was missing the conversation (my #2). He thought it was getting filled simply because we discuss mundane everyday things. He did not realize that conversation was where my safe intimacy comes in. So maybe each of us having the others EN questionnaire will help.

Oh and my hormones have finally calmed down so now I can kinda think straight (without pity parties) again. You would think that since I have been dealing with those drastic thought changes every month since I was 11, I would have figured out a way around it by now. But so far, I have only learned to recognize when I am in a hormone fog frown


Me - BS
Him - WS
Discovery 3/26/10
NC letter mailed 5/27/10
NC letter recieved 5/29/10
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I am still out here and still alive. H and I are still working through our issues.

We have been attending church lately. I think this has helped me because it is creating a new support system for me as well as a new place for H and I to rebuild our M.

I have been praying alot lately to learn and understand how to forgive H for the A. The result is that last Sunday I spent half the service in tears and the last half of the service felling jubilant. So maybe I am on my way to learning to forgive.

The one thing I have currently asked H for is that I wish he was a bit more possessive of me. I know that sounds a little crazy, but he never seems to worry that I may fall. I don't like that feeling right now. While yes it is good that he trusts me, it also makes me feel taken for granted.

anyway back to like and reality.


Me - BS
Him - WS
Discovery 3/26/10
NC letter mailed 5/27/10
NC letter recieved 5/29/10
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Originally Posted By: ElunaInNC
The one thing I have currently asked H for is that I wish he was a bit more possessive of me. I know that sounds a little crazy, but he never seems to worry that I may fall. I don't like that feeling right now. While yes it is good that he trusts me, it also makes me feel taken for granted.


I know what you mean, Eluna. We are very similar. Have you read my story? It's linked to my sig line below. The success stories down there are helpful, too.

(((((((((((((((((((Eluna))))))))))))))))))))

Ace


FWH/BW (me)57+ M:36+ yr.
4 D-Days: Jun-Nov 06 E/PA~OW#2 (OW#1 2000)
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Ok I am really not having a good day.

An Ex contacted me on FB last week. I composed a nice short to the point msg back to him stating that I was M with kids. Full time job, no time to breath much less anything else.

Had H review it before it got sent. I asked H if the msg was to the point. IE M and not interest. H said yes, it was good. So Msg got sent.

No more contact with ex from me. However yesterday ex sent me a msg through FB again. The problem I have is that I got excited when I saw the msg. I did not respond however.

I spent yesterday asking myself why I got excited. I realized it was because here was an individual reaching out to me with conversation. The very thing I am still trying to get H to fulfill.

So this morning, I told H about how the email made me feel (yes he knew I had received it as we both get copies of all FB msgs) and that I was unhappy because it made me feel excited.

H still feels like there is not a problem here. He said "Ok I will have more conversations with you" I feel like I am dying inside waiting on H to realize how important this is for me, but he just seems to being doing just enough that he thinks he can squeak by.

Maybe I am expecting too much? I want to get excited to see and talk to H.

Are we spending enough time together.No.

I even made arrangements on Monday for H and I to take the afternoon off and spend half the day together. That resulted in us running errands because he wanted to get a new part for our vacuum. I had hoped to do something fun.

I am getting frustrated and feel like I want to give up.


Me - BS
Him - WS
Discovery 3/26/10
NC letter mailed 5/27/10
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Originally Posted By: ElunaInNC
Maybe I am expecting too much? I want to get excited to see and talk to H.


I hear you on that. This morning I watched my wife again walk out the door without her phone.

When she was carrying on the affair, that thing was GLUED to her. She never went anywhere without it. She'd answer all of his texts instantly, stay logged into her Twitter account so she'd know when he was online, and was excited about using her phone to stay in touch with him.

Now we often go hours before she responds to my texts. If I'm working from the office, we chat all the way home... but she doesn't usually call me to initiate the chat. When I've asked her to do so, she says she doesn't feel right about it because she won't know what time I'm leaving work.

It's not that we don't talk. We do. It's very high on both of our EN lists. The problem is that she doesn't show the excitement she did with the OM. It's like I'm "Old Reliable" she knows she can talk to... we schedule a couple of hours every day, rain or shine. I don't challenge her thinking the way OM did; I don't have the incendiary political opinions he did to get her really engaged in the conversation. We agree on 90% of everything except church stuff.

It makes us compatible... but also makes it so that she's not excited to talk to me every day. The phone often stays home while she runs the errands, and I feel like an immense heel rather than a dynamic, interesting person.


Doormat_No_More
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I am still out here in the void.

H actually had a brief intimate conversation with me on the phone last week. It was the first time that has really happened since all this began. It was also when I realized I had built an ice wall around my heart. Until then I had not realized how much of a wall I have been hiding behind, until I felt it start to melt.

But unfortunately there has not been a repeat of that type of conversation and it is what I am longing for the most.

Monday I used my external hard drive to back up my laptop. Well that is where I had stored a copy of the email I had sent to OW a couple of days after I found out (before MB). I re-read the email and was amazed that I had sounded so authoritative in the email. I sounded like I was kicking a$$ and taking names and NO ONE would get in my way. I also re-read the part where I told her that I would be satisfied by the amount of emotional turmoil H and I reconciling would bring her, provided OW stays away from MY family. I needed that reminder. It has helped me start moving forward since I am going to keep my word, but I am doing it for myself.

H decided to surprise me last night. He had a training class that was suppose to run late, but he got out early. Since he was suppose to be in class I was suppose to go get our son.

Instead he left work at his regular time and called me on the way. He picked up our son from daycare. Unbeknownst to me, he also stopped at the local olive garden and picked up dinner for us. It was a nice surprise.

SF has changed. I use to enjoy it on a physical and an emotional level. Lately I have noticed that I am emotionally not there. I feel like this is inpart because I am still hiding behind that ice wall. I want H to break through it, but he is afraid to open up. So where does that leave us? Stuck in limbo since the very thing he is afraid to do, is the very thing my heart and soul are yearning for. frown


Me - BS
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Discovery 3/26/10
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Is it possible to feel wayward without being wayward?

I am very angry. Probably finally allowing myself to experience that anger in a somewhat healthy manner. It is weird, I still want H to experience the pain I feel. I want him to suffer as I do each and every day when I think about his betrayal. However I blatantly refuse to create an environment where I may betray him in the same manner.

I have noticed however that my sub-conscious is trying to give me that "revenge" anyway. I say that because I have been having a lot of dreams involving me cheating on him. Sometimes with multiple men at one time.

I have also noticed that on the days I have those dreams, I am very withdrawn and do not want to open up to anyone. I just want to hide. And if H tried to be nice to me, or do something nice for me, during that time, I get a rather hostile feeling.

Like I said, can you feel wayward without being wayward?

I do not like those feelings. So last night I explained to H all of the negative feeling I was going through, from the anger to the waywardness. I don't want to screw things up worse than they are, I just want to heal from this pain.


Me - BS
Him - WS
Discovery 3/26/10
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Just be very careful, and watch your boundaries closely. Continue to be honest with your H about your feelings. You are VERY vulnerable right now. You dont feel emotionally connected to your H, you are angry and hurting. It is all to easy to justify doing something like this. I started feeling this way a few months before I acted on it, but I didnt really think deep down that I was capable of it. In the end I thought it would take the pain away, gain me back some of the power that I felt I had lost...

Right now you are "an affair looking for an affair partner". Revenge is very tempting, and the depths of your pain after your H's betrayal can make you look to anything just to make it stop.

It wont make the pain go away, it only makes it worse. Please be careful, and be very honest with your H about these thougts and feelings. Come back here often and post, do anything you can not to make the same mistake I made. I cant go back and change what I did, but I can share the knowledge I gained from it to help keep others from doing it.


We lived in two different countries for two years. Thank you US Army.

Me-24 FWW/BW
DH-27 FWH/BH
DS-6 years DD- 1 year

Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves. ~Henry David Thoreau

Life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death. ~Anas Nin

If you aren't sure who you are, you might as well work on who you want to be. ~Robert Brault,


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Thank you Rising, for the understanding.

At the moment I have more feelings to run than to act on anything else. I asked H the other day how I was suppose to learn to trust when I continue to feel the need to run. For now I am trusting in God that I am where I need to be at the moment. I firmly believe that divine intervention played a part in the discovery and the circumstances that lead to H ending the A before I discovered it. So I need to trust that God will get me where I need to be as well.

I am getting very frustrated though. On D-day I removed all of H's computers from the house. I took them to my parents house for safe keeping, thinking I would need them if I went to a lawyer. They have sat there since D-Day, until last week.

H has been hemming and hawing about wanting his laptop, so he can game and hang out with me on the couch at the same time. I have had very mixed feelings about the laptop, due to it being an affair access point. Never the less, I attempted to bring it back with the understanding that it would need to be formatted, wiped, and have monitoring software installed on it. (these were part of our extraordinary precautions.) And H agreed to these conditions.

However less than an hour of having the laptop in the house with us (on the table not being used or touched) I started a major trigger set. I realized that I am associating he laptop with the affair. After seeing me so upset that I could not even sleep beside him, he took the laptop out of the house and put it into our van where it has remained.

Last night he said "I would like your permission to bring the laptop back into the house" I lost it again. I had asked after he removed it last week, that we sit down and discuss all the aspects surrounding the laptop. He agreed, but never brought it up again until last night when he wanted to "bring it into the house"

I tried to explain this morning, that to me the way he asked last night sounded to me as ==== I want my laptop back and am asking permission to get it...

I was hoping for === Lets get down to why this is bothering you and figure out away around the issues, so you will feel comfortable when WE decide to bring the laptop back to the house.


For the record, it is still in the van. He did not get it, but it did cause both of us to get angry and defensive.


Me - BS
Him - WS
Discovery 3/26/10
NC letter mailed 5/27/10
NC letter recieved 5/29/10
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According to your signature line you are about 7 months out from DDay. You are probably hitting your anger phase. What normally happens is when you first discover the A you are struck with fear and after the initial anger you are concerned with saving the M. At about 6 months in you start to think that the M is going to survive and you start to get angry about what has been done to you.

* This seems to work differently for the spouses of serial cheaters when they realize how much of their lives have been a lie ("Save the M? We never had a M!") or for those whose spouses are doing the trickle truth (They end up just wanting the pain to stop). They seem to skip over or spend less time trying to save the marriage and move to anger more quickly. Just a note for any lurkers reading along.

Right now you probably feel some or all of the following-
pain of betrayal
anger
resentment
disillusionment
disconnected emotionally from your spouse
a "renter" mentality
powerless
hopeless
helpless
lonely
the return of your Taker (I have given enough, its time I got something back!)
feeling like its time for your spouse to start to "get it"
wanting to see them take the lead in Recovery
disappointment when they dont

You have 3 choices on how to deal with this phase
1) You can run. You have a leave the M guilt free card. Your H gave it to you when he had an A, it is your right to use it at any time if it just becomes too much for you.

2) You can have your revenge. This sounds appealing. You get to get even, understand what is so great about an A that your spouse could hurt you over it, you think that it will help you get rid of your pain, you wont be lonely anymore. Two things can happen here-
A)It does feel good, for about 10 seconds. Then you realize that you have sacrificed your honor, your integrity, its not that exciting, its empty, you now have a M that has to overcome twice the problems you had before, you still have your pain.
B)Your Taker LIKES it. You like having those needs met, you like having your revenge. You end up neck deep in your own A, and become a crazed wayward alien yourself. You are very vulnerable right now to someone meeting your needs. It can and does happen.

I dont recommend this option. I do recommend (as someone who painfully chose this option, thankfully I was one of the 10 second people) that you guard against it very carefully. When an opportunity presents itself to you, your Taker will want to take this option.

3) You can stay and continue to drag yourself through the mud of recovery. I think this is the option you want, because you love your H.

I looked over some of your more recent posts, trying to get a better idea of where you are right now. Some of the things that you say I can really relate to.

Feeling like your H chose you because if things that were undesirable about OW, rather than things that were desirable about you. I think that the things that a wayward sees as being wrong with the OP are the things that the spouse does better. Contrast Effect works both ways.

Wondering how they could do this to us. They could because they were selfish. It wasnt that OW was more than you, or better than you. It wasnt about OW, it wasnt even about you, it was about your H. He wanted to feel good, and getting his needs met by someone else was working for him. What he wanted was more important at that time than doing the right thing. It's harsh, but its true. Now I dont think most WS's run into an A thinking about destroying their spouses, they just have themselves convinced that no one will ever know so its not going to hurt anyone if they have their cake and eat it too. They live in some fictional place where what they do cant hurt you. They arent viewing this as a choice between you and OW, or even really thinking about you much at all. They are thinking about themselves.

The ice wall. You want your H to break through it, it is making you miserable. It is changing SF. Women need two things to enjoy SF, the prospect of enjoyment and an emotional connection to their partner. You have lost that connection. Have you sat down and figured out why you have that wall? What it is going to take from your H to break it down (In specific actions?) and then communicated those things you need to your H? He is probably feeling that you are withdrawn and doesnt know how to fix it. You probably are not feeling safe yet, since you dont feel he really "gets it" and the wall is your way of protecting yourself. You need that connection back though, because not having it is contributing in a big way to your wayward thoughts.

You dont feel your H is possesive enough. It feels like he doesnt care enough to even worry about you doing something. Again this contributes to wayward thoughts. You dont feel loved, and you dont really think he would care if you did cheat. He will though, so dont let that justification blind you.

The laptop issue...I struggle with that still. Those moments where they just dont seem to get it. I cant help you with how to fix it, but just know that you arent alone on that one.


We lived in two different countries for two years. Thank you US Army.

Me-24 FWW/BW
DH-27 FWH/BH
DS-6 years DD- 1 year

Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves. ~Henry David Thoreau

Life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death. ~Anas Nin

If you aren't sure who you are, you might as well work on who you want to be. ~Robert Brault,


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Isn't amazing how sometimes when you bury yourself so deep, the world will throw you a big curve ball to knock you out of it.


I have been talking about how angry I am at H. And Rising is correct that my Taker has been in control for a while. The phrase "It is not fair that you....." has passed my lips more than a few times recently.


However last night we both received a big curve ball. Our cat that we have had for 10 years (adopted him for H while we were dating) had to be euthanized last night. He had lost a lot of weight and had trouble breathing/walking. So we knew it was time.

This is the first pet H had ever had, and the first pet he has lost. So I an reaching out to him in complete giver mode.

I have lost pets before, and although I am very depressed over the passing of our beloved cat, I see and understand that H needs me to be there for him now more than I need him to "repay" his debt earned during the A.


Me - BS
Him - WS
Discovery 3/26/10
NC letter mailed 5/27/10
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Friday H and I were witnesses to a friends Marriage. Although it took place in the magistrates office and we were the only witnesses, it was still nice to see someone who felt that thrill of the first blush of love.

I did have one very interesting thing happen while we were there. As we were waiting our turn in the magistrates office, I heard a thunk behind me. I did not pay it any attention until it occurred again. I looked up and there was some guy standing there. He motioned that he wanted me and him to "hook up".

I pointed at H, then pointed at my rings indicating I was not interested. It is kind of weird, and very relieving, that after all my thoughts of wanting H to feel the same anger I have been feeling, all I felt over this guy hitting on me was disgust. I had absolutely no interest, could not think of anything at that time other than H and our son.

I finally got a chance to ask H how he felt to have that guy hit on me in front of him. He told me he finally understands how it made me feel when he would flirt with other women in front of me. He said it made him feel very territorial where I was concerned, and that had I not already blown the guys off before H realized that guy was propositioning me, he might have gotten in the guys face to tell him to back off and leave me (HIS WIFE) be.

I have to say, although I am still angry, his reaction has at least made me feel a bit more wanted. And my reaction to the situation has eased my mind that I am not in immediate danger of doing something incredibly stupid.


Me - BS
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Discovery 3/26/10
NC letter mailed 5/27/10
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Will the triggers ever end? I will have several good weeks, then all of a sudden a trigger. I will go from calm to chaotic.

It is after the triggers I find myself looking for even more. I find myself asking if I even want to continue on this path. Sometimes it feels like it is too hard.

DS has been sick all week so I am exhausted. Right now I just can not fight the triggers. I am way to easily frustrated atm.


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You are probably triggering more BECAUSE you are stressed with other things. It takes a lot of mental energy to maintain your positivity, when you are tired or stressed from other things you dont put as much energy into it, and you trigger more.

The down times are hard, and its easy to question in those times WHY you are putting so much effort in. With time though, you should start to notice that even though the down times are still hard, they are coming further apart. You wont take that dip as often, and the good days will start to outnumber the bad days. Eventually you will have very few bad days, and then you wont have them at all. I havent made it that far yet, but other people have. It can be done, if thats what you want.

hug I am sorry things are rough right now. Share that you are feeling down with your H and see if you can come up with something you can do together to lift your spirits up and bring you two closer. It will help to banish the triggers for awhile.


We lived in two different countries for two years. Thank you US Army.

Me-24 FWW/BW
DH-27 FWH/BH
DS-6 years DD- 1 year

Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves. ~Henry David Thoreau

Life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death. ~Anas Nin

If you aren't sure who you are, you might as well work on who you want to be. ~Robert Brault,


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I am still out here.

Lately I have been having this overwhelming feeling that "I want MY life back."

What do I mean by that? I want more than just my marriage and my husband back. I want to stop feeling like I have to avoid certain places because OW may or may not be in that area.

I work in the area she was living in during the A. And this is the same area I did alot of shopping and errands previous to D-day. Since D-day I have gone out of my way to avoid that area, to the point that it has become a major inconvenience at times. Even giving up my favorite restaurant on the off chance that OW may be in the area.

It is worse for me right now, because at this time last year, I was busy spending my lunch hours shopping for H and DS. This year I have done 95% of my shopping online just to avoid the area.

I feel like I am running away and giving up MY turf because of this adulterous person. I HATE this feeling. I have been through a lot of personal trauma and have always taken back my life after those traumas, including a rape. So I believe in the philosophy of taking back my life from those forces who have tried to screw it up.

So why am I so afraid of running in to OW now? I had no contact with her previous or during the A. And have only had 3-party contact with her since D-Day (that being sending the NC letter H wrote to her)

I am terrified that if I do run into her, she will say something to me that will plant a toxic seed. And that seed will fester and grow, creating more problems in my marriage. We are working hard to re-learn how to be with one another. I am terrified that given the chance OW will undermine it with some diatribe about the activities that occurred between her and H during the A.

So where am I now? I am sitting between self-disgust for not taking back my life and fear that in attempting to, I will cause more harm to my marriage.

I do not have any want or need to confront OW any longer. I just want my normal life back. The everyday mundane. Hell, at this point I just want to go Christmas shopping without fear.


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Go shopping, take your life back. If you see OW, then walk away. If she tries to talk to you then say "NO!" and continue to walk away. Living in fear of her isnt healthy.

OW's are bad people and they lie. I know this because one of my H's Ow's tried to tell me all kinds of stuff I knew wasnt true (I was exposing on FB, and she must have had the first person I messaged call her immediately since her message to me popped into my inbox before I finished messaging everyone I needed to on my exposure list). Trying to tell me she didnt know he was married etc. even though I had seen emails of her asking him how his wife and son were doing. Dont put too much faith in anything that such a slimy person would say to you, it would most likely be a lie anyway.

Have you considered moving? It might help to just have new places to shop.


We lived in two different countries for two years. Thank you US Army.

Me-24 FWW/BW
DH-27 FWH/BH
DS-6 years DD- 1 year

Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves. ~Henry David Thoreau

Life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death. ~Anas Nin

If you aren't sure who you are, you might as well work on who you want to be. ~Robert Brault,


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Originally Posted By: RisingFromAshes
Go shopping, take your life back. If you see OW, then walk away. If she tries to talk to you then say "NO!" and continue to walk away. Living in fear of her isnt healthy.

OW's are bad people and they lie. I know this because one of my H's Ow's tried to tell me all kinds of stuff I knew wasnt true (I was exposing on FB, and she must have had the first person I messaged call her immediately since her message to me popped into my inbox before I finished messaging everyone I needed to on my exposure list). Trying to tell me she didnt know he was married etc. even though I had seen emails of her asking him how his wife and son were doing. Dont put too much faith in anything that such a slimy person would say to you, it would most likely be a lie anyway.

Have you considered moving? It might help to just have new places to shop.


Well I went out at lunch and took your advice. I went to the store and bought a frame I needed to complete H's last present. I do not know if OW was there or not, did not bother to look. I went straight for what I needed and then checked out.

I had H on the phone with me the entire time for support.

I must say it felt really good when I was done. I actually felt like I had accomplished something. I am ready to stop wallowing about the A. I am ready to take back my life piece by piece.

I think this may be the best Christmas present I could give myself this year.


Me - BS
Him - WS
Discovery 3/26/10
NC letter mailed 5/27/10
NC letter recieved 5/29/10
My Thread

Recovery may not be an option. Seriously looking a plan B/D
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hurray Slimy OW doesnt deserve anything of yours. Take back what she stole from you, everything you can. Take back your H and your M, and everything else in your life that she has touched or ruined for you. It's the best gift you can give yourself and the best thing you can do for your M!


We lived in two different countries for two years. Thank you US Army.

Me-24 FWW/BW
DH-27 FWH/BH
DS-6 years DD- 1 year

Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves. ~Henry David Thoreau

Life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death. ~Anas Nin

If you aren't sure who you are, you might as well work on who you want to be. ~Robert Brault,


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Still trudging alone.

Had another D-day in the sense that WH admitted he had been lying about some of the details. It had still been bothering me, I guess I knew he was still lying and that is why I had been unable to let go.

But I do know he has not had any further contact with her since the NC letter.

I told H last night that what I think had hurt me the most is the lost of trust. I often wonder how I can ever trust again. It is such a heart-sickening feeling to not be able to trust your spouse to even run to the store.

It is exhausting to feel like I need to keep tabs on every little thing he does because he may cheat again.

I started reading SAA again. I had been so caught up in everyday problems, that I had forgotten some of the thing I was suppose to be doing, like avoiding LBs and angry outbursts.

When I realized that I had not been practicing those, I immediately apologized to H and explained why I apologized.

I had to stop taking my anti-depressants for about two weeks to recover from a vicious bout of bronchitis in which they had to put me on some major drugs. I am now back on them, however not before I had a full blown anxiety attack. H understood that the drugs contributed heavily to my anxiety attack, but that much of the anxiousness I felt ultimately came from our situation.

I am still trying to recover our M. We are talking on a pretty regular basis. We even had a date Friday night. But sometimes I wonder if any of this is worth it. If I can not trust him, can I ever have a real marriage with him?


Me - BS
Him - WS
Discovery 3/26/10
NC letter mailed 5/27/10
NC letter recieved 5/29/10
My Thread

Recovery may not be an option. Seriously looking a plan B/D
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