Oops - bumped it.

Sheesh Allen, I think I am just going to observe and really not post. I did want to tell you that Jin was upset and I think was interested in posting elsewhere. I hope she finds her way here. She has just made a comment that her thread was gone and why would that be and her post on that was immediately removed-lol! There was nothing at all negative in her post. Too funny, seriously, I'm not kidding.

Years back when the crisis occurred I had looked at the MB forum
and read all over the place but knew the abbreviations at DB so I stuck with reading the info over there. Anyhow, I always have been a big fan of the Harley books and info. I loved His Needs Her Needs- one of my favorites. So sweet, months after my hubby and I reconciled after his 14 month in-house separation, he had asked if he was meeting my needs. I thought it was so sweet... this from a man that spewed how much he hated me for so long. He couldn't stand me, oh all sorts of mean nasty horrible words. Total 180.

I just read the compensation article suggested here. I did read it years ago but it really sticks with me now. I totally get this. I at times have felt like I am in the "man down" position since all this went down. Does that make any sense? That feeling is fading b/c I have held my hubby's feet to the fire about what transpired and he has manned up and is really starting to own his own cr@p and making visable changes. I don't think I could move forward with him if he did have some changes of his own...


OK, anyhow, like I was pretty much on the DB boards... I am just going to observation mode and pop in on a rare occasion.

Back to radio silence....

It's ok for now June, just read and enjoy a chance to keep in touch wtih everyone and learn some new strategies.

I realize I should have posted here now.. but it took them three pages of posts to get around to suggesting it. And I was the one that had to do it lol

I posted in the wrong forum, I can own that... It's all fixed, lets let this thread go and get the refugee one some hits from a few more db forum members

Hi Allan_A

Love your work !

(edit)

Its not for ME 'cos MB saved my marriage and I use MB in my marriages ministry that I run , but I can imagine its a good place for folks who want to feel free to discuss ANYTHING ,or at least rest awhile.

This place is "MB only" for front-line advising not because of some fascist diktat but because MB is proven, and can be applied as a standard PLAN even by people experiencing the worst time of their lives. Competing strategies really do seem to just muddy the water for the newly betrayed on the "surviving an affair" board ( which is like our emergency dept).

Its not really a great place for philosophical debate, however interesting. Having advocates of more passive marriage building approaches felt like having a homeopath in the emergency room: "All very interesting but excuse me while we restart this guys heart" kind of thing.

Now I have come to consider some non-Harley works to be quite brilliant ( Eggerichs "Love and Respect" for one) but I won't offer that to a hurting person fighting an affair.

Delighted to welcome you here, but I would have you know how it is right up front so you are not disappointed.

all blessings

Thank you Bob.

edit link

The DB members have my email now so they can (and I encourage) them to contact me directly.

Hi Allan and Bob,

I've been wanting to share something and this seems as good a time and place to do it.

Like Bob and Squid, MB concepts helped save our M (story linked to sig line) and Bob's posts were some of the most inspirational for us, even if he was on a self-imposed hiatus at the time. (Jan. 2007) We were not able to implement ALL of the MB concepts at once (and some not at all) but it still worked for us.

Best wishes on your endeavors, Bob and Allan.

Ace

P.S. - Edited to add: Even if we couldn't use all of MB, I'm glad we were able to benefit.

You can email me directly June... More than happy to hear from you and everyone else.. I can get you in touch with PDT if you like as well.