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Hope, send them to me, please, please. I'd need a new background for my dart board!

Last edited by princessmeggy; 10/21/10 06:30 PM.

Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
*********************
In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists. Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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Hope, glad you are doing so well. Keep it up and your head held high girl. You have class and strength. Rutting pigs do not.


Me:BW
Dday:12/31/09-Found MB 01/03/10
3DstepChildren24&20
PlanA:01/03/10
PlanB:03/25/10
D final 11/15/10

"I dare you to find some time and some place to be silent for longer than usual; a few moments, a few minutes, a few hours. Listen to your heart, listen to your soul; and most importantly, listen to the silence to see what it sounds like and how it speaks to you."
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LOL, maybe we should start a thread called "walk of shame" where we can put all the affairages pics. Like the idea of a dart board .

Mymissy thanks. I am holding my head high. Strength is good but I want to just have "grace" that is all that I will need.



Me 55, XWH 53, M 22 years
D17, D30
alien replaces my husband "I'm not happy" -7/08
Discover OW-8/08 (his direct report and I work there also)
H moves out 10/1/08, confront Ow 10/28/08
Plan B 1/09
D final 12/09

Quote: "First thing you do is pray; when there is nothing else to do, continue to pray."
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I see a stong, classy woman making through a difficult situation, time to move forward and show him what and who he gave up to have the scum sucking tramp.....
hehe!!! love that you are well and laughing................


BW 56
WH 57
Married 25 years, live together for 2, dated 2 years before that.....
DS 23, DS 25
D-Day Nov 23/09
NC Mar 1/10
Working on Recovery
Grateful for finding Marriage Builders
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Posts: 2,455
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Originally Posted by jessitaylor
I see a stong, classy woman making through a difficult situation, time to move forward and show him what and who he gave up to have the scum sucking tramp.....
hehe!!! love that you are well and laughing................

As long as I stay detached, I am doing ok. I do get those moments of woulda, coulda, shoulda but they pass quick. I am probably the only one who remembers the old XH and I keep that man in my memory and my heart. He is an alien now and when I see him I imagine that he is an science experiment that I am looking at under a microscope. He is not my H as long as he is with PP.

Here is my happy story for today. I went to a church group and they were asking us what was our "sweet spot" meaning what are we happy for in our lives. For a second I panicked because this past 2 years and the D took away much of my happiness.

It made me think of something positive that came out of that mess. Before these last 2 years my DD17 was always Daddy's girl. She was very close to him and I was the just the interloper. After the breakup DD and I really started to connect and we are very close to each other and maybe this never would have happened otherwise. When I got home I told DD about what my "sweet spot" was and even though she did not react too much about it...later that night she posted this on her Facebook..

"Dear Life, I love you, your so perfect...perfect BF, Friends and family. Whoop whoop. Life is goooooood" laugh

This comes from a girl that was angry, grades crashing, depressed and negative more than a year ago.

Some of us have blessings and some of us have pigs.


Me 55, XWH 53, M 22 years
D17, D30
alien replaces my husband "I'm not happy" -7/08
Discover OW-8/08 (his direct report and I work there also)
H moves out 10/1/08, confront Ow 10/28/08
Plan B 1/09
D final 12/09

Quote: "First thing you do is pray; when there is nothing else to do, continue to pray."
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Seeee....We never know what those damn teenagers have goin on in their minds when they dont show us emotions....but look she is happy and so are you...wonderful....


BW me-41
WH -39
DS - 9
married 12 Yrs together(?) 18 yrs when A discovered
DDay aug 2007
found MB dec 2007
Moved out april 2008
still seeing OW
Plan B

Okay I fixed the ages, it was looking screwy. smile
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I have read here and know of so many cases that during the D the kids become casualities.

They shut down totally, go to drugs, drinking, sex to stop their pain. It is something that affects them their whole life.

DD just turned 15 when XH rocked her world. I continue to pray she will thrive.


Me 55, XWH 53, M 22 years
D17, D30
alien replaces my husband "I'm not happy" -7/08
Discover OW-8/08 (his direct report and I work there also)
H moves out 10/1/08, confront Ow 10/28/08
Plan B 1/09
D final 12/09

Quote: "First thing you do is pray; when there is nothing else to do, continue to pray."
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Just some posting.

DD17 did good. When she was in elementary school she struggled with school and was almost held back in 4th grade. She could not read well at all and had no skills for comprehension and critical thinking.

We worked with her almost every night. XH and I would have her read a page from a book and then ask her questions and she would get 4 out of 5 wrong. It was frustrating but she started to improve and by middle school she started to "get it".

She works hard for every grade.

Well she took her SAT and we got the scores back today. In Critical Reading she scored 710 out of 800 -- Top 96% score in national. When she told me on the phone I thought she read it wrong. When I saw it I yelled.

She asked why I was screaming. I told her do you realize that only 4% people in the US beat your score. Knowing what we went through I know how amazing this is.

I am so proud of her. She is a blessing to our family. It made me sad that I could not share it with XH. He knew all of what she went through and he is missing this great reward.

These are the days I miss my XH or the man that was formally my DH.



Me 55, XWH 53, M 22 years
D17, D30
alien replaces my husband "I'm not happy" -7/08
Discover OW-8/08 (his direct report and I work there also)
H moves out 10/1/08, confront Ow 10/28/08
Plan B 1/09
D final 12/09

Quote: "First thing you do is pray; when there is nothing else to do, continue to pray."
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Isn't this the payoff as a parent, I'm still in waiting with my youngest so hearing some positive feedback on a child is just what I needed, thanks for sharing......
You did good.......
jessi


BW 56
WH 57
Married 25 years, live together for 2, dated 2 years before that.....
DS 23, DS 25
D-Day Nov 23/09
NC Mar 1/10
Working on Recovery
Grateful for finding Marriage Builders
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Originally Posted by jessitaylor
Isn't this the payoff as a parent, I'm still in waiting with my youngest so hearing some positive feedback on a child is just what I needed, thanks for sharing......
You did good.......
jessi

One of my biggest fears was to lose DD17 too in the carnage of this D. I have heard horror stories about kids that fell apart. For awhile I know she was on the fence of which path to take. I thank God every day that she seems to not only be recovering but thriving. Don't know how the D will affect her in the future but for the present she is fine.

It is going on 18 months of her not seeing XH with no end in sight. If this is the way she is dealing with it and it is keeping her sane then so be it.

Blessings.


Me 55, XWH 53, M 22 years
D17, D30
alien replaces my husband "I'm not happy" -7/08
Discover OW-8/08 (his direct report and I work there also)
H moves out 10/1/08, confront Ow 10/28/08
Plan B 1/09
D final 12/09

Quote: "First thing you do is pray; when there is nothing else to do, continue to pray."
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I think that the key now for you is to just love her unconditionally and just accept her choices even though they might not be yours all the time......
Tell her you are proud of her every chance you get......
Tell her you feel bad about her dad but it is something you can change or even like, tell her you will always be there for her when she feels bad about it or needs to talk about it......tell her she is the most important thing to you and that you are willing to do what you can for her........be honest about things in a thoughtful way and I can see nothing but good come out of all of this.........
This is what I'm trying to do with my son, they just internalize things themselves with their own spin on things.......so keeping them in the dark only makes them think all kinds of things, it's better they know the truth and feel secure in that honest relationship we have with them.........life just isn't easy some days......
but so proud other days...........
Stay strong.............I'm 53 as well, it's great to see some pay off for us as mothers ..................
stay safe.......jessi


BW 56
WH 57
Married 25 years, live together for 2, dated 2 years before that.....
DS 23, DS 25
D-Day Nov 23/09
NC Mar 1/10
Working on Recovery
Grateful for finding Marriage Builders
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Going to fight the dragon today.

Say some prayers for my family. Bankruptcy court for XH and I am going in as one of the creditors.

Have my questions, have my faith, have to do what is right to recover DD's money and defaulted loan.

Divorce the gift that keeps on giving.

Blessings.


Me 55, XWH 53, M 22 years
D17, D30
alien replaces my husband "I'm not happy" -7/08
Discover OW-8/08 (his direct report and I work there also)
H moves out 10/1/08, confront Ow 10/28/08
Plan B 1/09
D final 12/09

Quote: "First thing you do is pray; when there is nothing else to do, continue to pray."
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Thinking of you, Hope. We'll all be standing with you in spirit!

Go get 'em, girl!

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Rooting (no pun intended) for you!


Me; W 46
Him; H 46

2 girls
DD19
DD16
Dated/Married total 28 years.
..I am learning and working on myself.
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Originally Posted by wildhorses74
Thinking of you, Hope. We'll all be standing with you in spirit!

Go get 'em, girl!

DITTO


BW(Me)aka Scotty:37
DSx2: 10,12
DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09
Plan B Dec18/09
Personal R in works
Scotty's THING laugh
Newly Betrayed click here


Praying for walls and doors. Thanx MM

Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.
? Maya Angelou

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION

THANK YOU
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DITTO

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pray


Truth can stand on it's own two feet....A lie needs support....FRM
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Here's praying it turns out well for you!

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Originally Posted by Scotland
Originally Posted by wildhorses74
Thinking of you, Hope. We'll all be standing with you in spirit!

Go get 'em, girl!

DITTO


Ditto
[Linked Image from smileyvault.com]


Me:BW
Dday:12/31/09-Found MB 01/03/10
3DstepChildren24&20
PlanA:01/03/10
PlanB:03/25/10
D final 11/15/10

"I dare you to find some time and some place to be silent for longer than usual; a few moments, a few minutes, a few hours. Listen to your heart, listen to your soul; and most importantly, listen to the silence to see what it sounds like and how it speaks to you."
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Ditto the dittos!


Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
*********************
In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists. Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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