My Recovery letter. Please read and comment. Some of it sounds good and heartful and to me some of it sounds like MB language.
I am writing this letter to share with you what I want more than anything in this world, what I want for me, our kids, and you. My stomach fills with butterflies even as I write this, thinking about how it will be received and how it will make you feel. But my love and commitment to you out weighs all feelings of fear, doubt, and the unknown. I am writing because I love you and I want to continued to comfort, love, and support all your hopes and dreams for the rest of our lives. I am writing because I want our children to see a Mom and Dad that are more thoughtful and loving then they have ever been. To have parents that are committed to a lifetime of loving and caring for each other.
The last two years I have searched for answers about how we can get back on track. How we can feel the same love, passion, and commitment that we felt for each other living in that 1 bedroom tiny apartment, with a mini fridge and two burners, trying to cook meals in a toaster oven. But none of that mattered because we had a future and a dream together. We had a passion to care for one another, to grow old together, and see the other person be all that they could be
My hope for our future has ebb and flowed but knowing we can both be happier than we have ever been, and that we can be the only ones to raise our kids keeps me going. If we can learn a marriage that neither of us was ever shown there will be a better future for us and our children.
I realize that if we are going to be successful at restoring our love there is a path we need to follow. My love, this is the path I promise to follow and need you to follow too. I need to be even better at responding to your needs and become your number one source of happiness. I need to recognize my own behaviors that contributed to the loss of our love. I need to be your spiritual covering and leader.
We need to commit time to one another. Take the things out of our lives that aren't the most important and distract us from loving each other each day. I want to be more open with you about my fears and dreams. The things I have done wrong and what I plan for the future. To make all of those plans and decisions with each other and in a way that we both completely agree upon.
I want to be the only one who cares for you, loves you, and knows you more than anyone else. Giving all of my time and energy to make you happy and fulfilled. And to let you be the only one that meets my needs. Lastly to completely cut out everyone in our lives who has ever taken our eyes and love from each other, to ensure that we can never let those people and things threaten our love for each other.
I pray each day that you will take my hand down this path, and we can walk it, and fight for our love side by side. I desire you to be my life partner, be the only mother of our children and me the only father. I want to be your best friend and the one you love. I want to catch you in my arms like I did in the parking lot at Foothill more that 11 years ago. I close my eyes see your bouncing blond curls, cute wrangler jeans as you run up to me and I catch you. Just like I have always done when you run up to me I want to do for the next 150 years.
Love you DH
The plan is to give this to her on Thanksgiving break and give her a small anniversary gift (its saturday of that weekend) and write her letters often. Im praying that I can do this for 6 months and then plan B. Please pray for her and me.