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New rant,
How I met your mother. I LOVE this show. Tonight's episode, Ted admits that he likes Zoey and Zoey is married. A few weeks back, when I saw this developing, I was PIZZED. I would have stopped watching the show if it was an A. Now, it seems that Zoey has already left her H and she is getting a D. So, Ted kisses her. Now, I dunno what I want to do. ARGH. Technically, it IS an A. I am going to see where this goes and if it IS going to be that it is an A, I will six the show.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING  Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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What kind of weird Canadian expression is that?  Scotty, I thought you spoke English like the Brits! Am I all alone here?
BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
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I guess it is what my "efficient" friends did with the saying, "86 something." "To 86 something means "to throw out." (Supposedly, the origin was restaurant code for being out of an item.)" And "efficient" is my new word for "lazy." 
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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I am going to see where this goes and if it IS going to be that it is an A, I will six the show. What kind of foreign foolishness is this??? 
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I guess it is what my "efficient" friends did with the saying, "86 something." "To 86 something means "to throw out." (Supposedly, the origin was restaurant code for being out of an item.)" Well, my goodness, how do Canadians expect anyone else to work THAT out?
BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
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I guess it is what my "efficient" friends did with the saying, "86 something." "To 86 something means "to throw out." (Supposedly, the origin was restaurant code for being out of an item.)" Well, my goodness, how do Canadians expect anyone else to work THAT out? It's not really a Canadian thing. I work with people in their late teens and 20s. I actually have NO CLUE what I am saying some times. Living in Niagara Falls, we used to say, "Going over the river," when we were talking about going to the States. I said that the other week and a girl said, "How OLD are you? We say, 'Over the ditch' now." She is only 6 years younger than me. Guess I am an old lady now.  I apologize to people who can't understand me, I am often the one who has to translate English into English for my friends.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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Stuck waiting, she can remove her wall so no one can post ANYTHING to her. She COULD make her profile more secure. Is there a reason she isn't? Having an easily accessible profile is an important part of building her career. Fans post things, she posts back, new fans search her out to get a look at the music, photos, videos etc. There are options, yes. But for a musician, the usual "get a new job" mantra won't work. Only because they are unwilling to actually get a new job and do something else.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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Aw, shoot, it's a rant thread, so I don't know why I edited my post three times. Here's the original:
Only because they are unwilling to actually get a new job.
The question is: is being a musician more important to them than their marriage?
I love what I do, but I'd give it up in a heartbeat if my wife wanted me to. She is far more important to me.
I don't know why it became culturally acceptable to rank music as a special class of career that people are "born into," but our culture accepts a lot of strange ideas.
The odds of success as a musician are very, very low. In my opinion all of this career building with Facebook and such is essentially like playing the lottery. If a musician doesn't have some kind of a contract by a certain point in their lives, they need to face reality and give it up and do something else. And if their career is hurting their marriage, they need to do that sooner rather than later.
Oh, no, I disagreed with some sacred cow ideas that musicians think about themselves.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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Oh, no, I disagreed with some sacred cow ideas that musicians think about themselves.  You shot DEAD some sacred cows. Mr Pep was an actor when I married him. Many "actors" think they were "born to act". Later, when Mr Pep went to the dark side he did very well because he understands the actor mentality. Artists can be a tricky choice for a spouse. They are so attractive and so interesting. Even to themselves !!! Thats the pheromone effect of artistry.
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Yes..Pep. I haven't watched the bachelor is years but this current installment with Brad Womack is just so over the top nauseating you just can't not watch it. Brad is convinced of the seriousness of his decision, IMO, not because picking a wife is so hard...but rather, he seems to feel that one of these lucky ladies is about to win the lottery....HIM, so picking the right million dollar winner is a burden that weighs heavily on him. The "pheromone of artistry" even has legs even in the psuedo-celebrity business.
Then again...Brad is so deep and complicated.
Mr. W
FBH(me)-51 FWW-49 (MrsWondering)
DD19 DS 22 Dday-2005-Recovered
"agree to disagree" = Used when one wants to reject the objective reality of the situation and hopefully replace it with their own.
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I guess it is what my "efficient" friends did with the saying, "86 something." "To 86 something means "to throw out." (Supposedly, the origin was restaurant code for being out of an item.)" Well, my goodness, how do Canadians expect anyone else to work THAT out? It's not really a Canadian thing. I work with people in their late teens and 20s. I actually have NO CLUE what I am saying some times. Living in Niagara Falls, we used to say, "Going over the river," when we were talking about going to the States. I said that the other week and a girl said, "How OLD are you? We say, 'Over the ditch' now." She is only 6 years younger than me. Guess I am an old lady now. I apologize to people who can't understand me, I am often the one who has to translate English into English for my friends. It's a New York thing... Chumley's, a famous and OLD New York speakeasy, is located at 86 Bedford St. During Prohibition, an enterance through an interior adjoing courtyard was used, as it provided privacy and discretion for customers.
As was (and is) a New York tradition, the cops were on the payroll of the bar and would give a ring to the bar that they were coming for a raid. The bartender would then give the command "86 everybody!", which meant that everyone should hightail it out the 86 Bedford enterance because the cops were coming in through the courtyard door. 86; to get rid of, throw out. As far as Canadians translating English into English... I had one of those teachers in high school, and I won't do that again (uh - gay - n). I mean, what's that all aboot?
"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr
"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer
"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR
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Then again...Brad is so deep and complicated. Especially with his shirt off.
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Then again...Brad is so deep and complicated. Especially with his shirt off.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I don't know why it became culturally acceptable to rank music as a special class of career that people are "born into," but our culture accepts a lot of strange ideas.
The odds of success as a musician are very, very low. In my opinion all of this career building with Facebook and such is essentially like playing the lottery. If a musician doesn't have some kind of a contract by a certain point in their lives, they need to face reality and give it up and do something else. And if their career is hurting their marriage, they need to do that sooner rather than later. I agree that using FB to build a music career is like playing the lottery, and it's ridiculous that "musicians" are in a special class of job status. However, it's true my FWW is "born to be a musician" much more than I was "born to be an IT Support dude" if you know what I mean. It's relatively easier for me to drop my job and get a new one in my chosen field, or a new one, if I wanted to... for a musician, it's much harder to find a new job in their current field. Because their "job" is nebulous. If I asked my wife to choose between her marriage and music--and I'm sure many other musicians would do the same--she would take the music. If she didn't, she would resent me forever for forcing her to choose. That is not a recipe for a happy marriage. If she asked me to choose between her and IT, obviously it's an easy choice for me. But if she asked me to choose between her and my left leg, that'd be tougher. This would be different if she really was playing the lottery with FB, but she has enough of a fan base and makes enough money through shows, iTunes and CDs, that she's not just playing lottery anymore. It's her career, and she's successful. I wonder what the Harleys would say about dealing with highly successful WSes.
BS: Me, 27
WS: Her, 24
EA: October
PA: 11/22/10
Moved out 12/3/10
Moved back in mid-January.
In tentative recovery. Is that the sun I see, breaking through the fog?
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That said, I'm gonna see about getting someone else to man her FB page, or at LEAST blocking OM as fully as possible! 
BS: Me, 27
WS: Her, 24
EA: October
PA: 11/22/10
Moved out 12/3/10
Moved back in mid-January.
In tentative recovery. Is that the sun I see, breaking through the fog?
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Awwwww.... I missed the FB rant string.
Well, FWW finally deleted her page. A pair of coworkers whom I can't wait to never see again were whining that she had deleted them.
Waaaaaaaaa!
She deleted her page for now.
The "couple" page is more effort than I care to put out right now, so I think later down the road we will put up our own pages again, with full privacy lockdown and simple rules; family and close friends only. Keep work and home work and home.
"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr
"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer
"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR
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I recommend a FB fan page. Nobody can really contact her, and somebody else can man it.
And I am speaking as someone who is so artsy and right brain that I lean when I walk. I had a couple of doors opened to me years ago, but I made the choice to "choose the better part." I have wondered before what I might be doing right now....but I know I chose what would truly last.
And who the heck is Brad Womack?
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And who the heck is Brad Womack? You're so artsy you forgot how to "google".
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And I am speaking as someone who is so artsy and right brain that I lean when I walk. ...
And who the heck is Brad Womack? You're so artsy you forgot how to "google". She leans so far when she walks that she was able to avoid his pheromone cloud...
Last edited by Mrs_Vanilla; 02/08/11 12:51 PM. Reason: quote clarification
Me - 30 (FWW)
H - 30 (BH)
DSx2
D-day: 2008
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It's relatively easier for me to drop my job and get a new one in my chosen field, or a new one, if I wanted to... for a musician, it's much harder to find a new job in their current field. I think the problem is that the constraint of "in the current field" is an irrational constraint. If I asked my wife to choose between her marriage and music--and I'm sure many other musicians would do the same--she would take the music. If she didn't, she would resent me forever for forcing her to choose. That is not a recipe for a happy marriage. If she asked me to choose between her and IT, obviously it's an easy choice for me. But if she asked me to choose between her and my left leg, that'd be tougher. What you are describing is not a recipe for a happy marriage. It's a deification and idolatry of music. I sing, play guitar, and do all kinds of stuff with music. It doesn't have to be my career.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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